Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
Groucho Marx

I met the surgeon general ‐ he offered me a cigarette.
Rodney Dangerfield

I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
Steven Wright

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
Joan Rivers

Crazy, Motis & Joan Chamorro Quartet

One Kind Favor, McCoury, Dre Anders, and Friends

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