i got the idea from what was going in in the 'lets tell spooky stories' thread. What's the craziest, most outlandish thing you'd do if you had a mountain of cash. the only 'guidelines' i'd suggest are: nothing criminal, nothing blatantly offensive towards a fellow caedesian (politicians...open season), and nothing physically impossible (example: i'd by enough plastic tubing to go from here to outer space, and breathe through it when i got up there)

but isnt that the fastest way to get seconds? hell, i'll sit next to the kitchen..

Am I a recording?

I will be sitting in the kitchen during the dinner hour. ;o)

For some entertainment during the aforementioned and ongoing dinner party ...

Jerry and Dubbya ... chocolate pudding wrestling ... with a twist. Secreted in the pudding ... the keys to the White House ... and whoever comes up with those keys, will actually be inaugurated as President.

Kind of like, what happened in the past election ... only better ... 'cause there's puddin' involved. :o))

dubya..a third term? no thanks

Oh no ... you have erroneously underestimated Jerry's resolve in this one.

Dubbya ... don't stand a chance.

Is Jerry a recording ? Inquiring minds want to know !

I am going to be President....oh neato. What party am I affiliated with? Why Poopers of course.

Well if America does that, good ol' Johnny will have to follow in suit!

What kind of "crazy" thing would I do if I were rich?

Well... I'd take my D&D group to England, rent a castle, and play a week long gaming session, using the castle and the surrounding environs as the backdrop.

Hmmmm Speedy must be an Aussie... lol... I'd throw a party if Johnny went..

Put em all in a Space Shuttle and fire them off to Pluto...they can see if it really is a dwarf planet...send us an email.

WHo, we putting in the shuttle? Androngenous Mandroid things?

Androlina Jolie

hahahaha

I'd be on the 'Vote for Yourself' party. In England, that was actually a party. They got one vote (by the candidate themselves) and got up on the thing and started playing guitar.

Ooh, I live in England. Invite me! But I have to say, there are probably more castles in Scotland than England.

And I'm glad to see that Fred, my hamster, is on the table. Maybe he'd leave some raisins for Dubya.

Hmmmmm... Terri never said who she would have join her at her table.

lol c'mon tom..you really wanna yell "ooh ooh pick me pick me!!"

I was just curious who will have to suffer through the dinner in Terri's company. ;cP

i'd um... suffer through it... i suppose.. ;-)

You guys have just become Gator bait.

for all the times i've proclaimed "well that's a real croc of..." now i'll be able to say so with authority

Another thread bites the dust.

*shrug* par for the course...

Terri I woud be honored to sit at your table.....just don't fart.

The craziest thing anyone could do is listen to Jerry :P

I have rethunked my seating arrangements somewhat ... instead of the usual ... boy/girl ... boy/girl ... now, it will be ... member/image mod/guests of honour ... member/image mod/guests of honour.

Should make for some interesting dinner conversation, don't you think?

Oh ... and yeah, one more thing ... Dave (aka speedy_10) ... your server for the evening. Now that ... will definitely prove interesting come time to serve the fare. I have given him free reign in the plating of the food.

Go here to see what is coming up as an appetizer.

His hand in the plating aspect should craftily hide the burned stuff that comes out of the oven. Hey ... it happens. :oP

Can my hamster help cook? He likes to be creative with pumpkin seeds.

I was counting on it actually.

Figured it would provide a built-in excuse for the potatoes being overcooked and devoid of moisture.

21) Emeril Lagasse. (Hey, 'bout time someone cooked for him I think.)
22) Nigella Lawson. (Get her out of the kitchen and into some evening wear ... she's hot.)
23) Bono. (I always wanted to tell that one joke in his presence about going up to heaven and then remarking on the people seen walking around behind the pearly gates there ... Mother Theresa, James Dean ... and then the kicker ... "Hey?!?! Is that Bono?" ... 'No, that's God ... he only thinks he's Bono.' :oP)

Oh yeah ... I slay me. :oP

To be continued ... right now I have to prepare to answer some hate mail from U2 fans.

Oh of course, you slay yourself, i see where your going with this...*walks off looking up at the sky*

Hey!! .. speaking of slay bells ... it's almost time for sleigh bells ... perhaps the people of the FROZEN north hear them sooner than, say, the people in SUNNY California

Or nice warm NSW! We have better beaches than you! ahahahahahahhaa :P

Les always hears sleigh bells.

i'm more a fan of "rock the bells", personally...

*empty smile*

I liiike sleigh bells.

*wipes drool from chin*

I'd mostly give a HUGE wad of that money to breast cancer research as it's a close thing to me.

I'd then buy myself a kwasaki ninja...and go touring europe on it.

I'd then go and tour asia, russia, canada, australia.

Give some to my parents for buying me my new beautiful bike, and some to jasmine my best friend.

I'd also buy myself the best computer I could lay my silly hands on and a beautiful camera!

Icedtears ... go here. :o)

Me? Personally?

I would go to Australia, Canada (uh ... on the return trips of course ... Canada here ... *waves*) ... Russia and then Asia. It would be soooo much better. :oP

Thanks for the link music.

lol...sigh i gots thinking about having lots of money now...*le sigh*

Easy ... *le spend* ... and ... *le charitable contributions* :o))

hehe, yes I have a funny way of typing...

crazy friends what can I say!

le spending would be good right now!

hey... it snowed in cali before it snowed up here in MN... herumph.

it's not that cold...

kay, maybe it is...

Another thing that I would do if I had lots of money. I would pay to get CLEAR train-tracks on my teeth. I just got them today, and already I want a painkiller.

And from a distance, it looks like I have no teeth.

so does keifer, but we accept him anyway...sort of :P

I had braces ... had them put on the very first ... the very first day of grade nine.

Self-esteem was knocked for a loop for a bit. Then I looked a little more intently at my detractors and realized they were destined to walk around their adult lives looking like they had a mouthful of garbled walnuts for a smile. :oD

Continuing with my dinner affair ...

24) Santa Claus. (I have some questions about this being good or bad thing. Need some clarification on a few issues.)
25) The Easter Bunny. (Yep ... more questions, such as ... why oh why would you give me a chocolate rabbit that was vulcanized and you needed a jackhammer to beark apart?)
26) A select number of the voices that dwell inside my head. (Apparently, they have some questions for me.)

To be continued ... gtg now ... the voices tell me I have to and they get impatient.

Rabbit? .. Vulcanized? ... no, no, no Les .. their ears are almost always in that V shape

(*raises eyebrow*) .. live long and hopper

LOL.

*tries to do the Vulcan hand sign ... and fails miserably*

However ...

*successfully does the bunny sign* You too, my friend ... live long and hopper. :o)

I can do the Vulcan sign....see....was I too fast?

Uh ... Jerry?

I think you just flipped me off in Klingon. *confuzzled look*

Ok, how about we take a look at the menu for the dinner party? And since money is no object ... shall we?

*throws a bucket of KFC onto the table*

Enjoy. :oP

p.s. No, I did not get all the fixin's ... who do you think has to pay for all of this stuff? Huh?

p.s.p.s. However ... for the one lucky individual who looks under their chair and finds a sealed envelope ... for you ... you get a McCain's frozen chocolate cake.

It came with the special ... and instead of keeping it for myself ... I am willing to part with it ... I'm generous that way. :oP

p.s.p.s.p.s. Those of you not so fortunate ... there's leftover puddin'. *evil grin*

*looks under chair hopefully*

Aw, all I got was a coupon for £1 off fabric softener.

*looks under chair*

OMG. I got a note that said "YOU LOSE SUCKER! - GO EAT YER PUDDIN"

now that was just RUUUUUUDE!

*giggles*

Scroll up to see where the puddin' remnants came from. *giggles some more*

Or as Dubbya would refer to the alternative dessert ... ice cream. (LOLOL.)

well that would be after a health dinner of veggies a/k/a ketchup :P

LOL.

Ahh ... gotta luv the George ... only he creeps me right out when he gets in his laugh and chuckle mode. Yikes.

Ever read the 'Bushisms'? You just gotta.

Oh most definitely ... they are hilarious.

Letterman roasts him almost nightly with some funny clips as well.

here's the funny thing... ketchup was called a vegetable...by one of it's own...Ronald Reagan...and not a cheap shot..reference is to his years as presdent, not as a patient.

Eh ... that's alright, we Canuckleheads refer to back bacon as a fruit.

Well... i got a chain e-mail backing chocolate as a fruit... is that helpful at all?

Sure ... why not, I say.

*contemplates the origin of cocoa plants*

Hmm, they grow from the earth up. Yeah ... sounds good.

I had another idea for spending the bounty.

Visit each of the Eight Wonders of the World. Take horrible snapshots of me posing in front of each and then post them on dA. *mischevious look*

With one addendum ... Keith Richards will be my personal photographer for this venture. And don't worry ... I have taken the precautions of hiring Mick to keep him in line.

You know what Les.. that sounds like quite the idea... of course if it was me, I would be the one posing for the pics and I would have Annie Libowitz or Robert Maplethorpe doing the pics.

Imagine it... an overwieght "Dairy Queen", i.e. me, wearing nothing but make-up, heels, wig, tiara and duct tape (to accentuate my cleavage you know). And, there I am posing in fromt of the world's greatest structures in various campy poses.

*Listens for the crash of the thread coming to a screaching halt"

well actually, curt, the thread IS 'really crazy stuff you'd do'. so no, not too far off course, unless for you thisd would be 'really normal stuff you'd do'. then of course, i'd have to yet PO'd at you for killin my thread :P

You can't kill the thread. It rocks

\\//
(..)
( )
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It's a bunny!

Sorry. Got carried away. What else would I do...

I'd pay a loada people t come and praise me for all my achievements. Which nobody ever does. I work so hard! *cries*

awww ty gemma :o)hmm, what else to do...well, i wouldn't mind someone doing my grocery shopping, my laundry, or my other less than desirable tasks...as long as you offered :P

You sure you want me to do your grocey shopping? Feeling kind of hungry. ;o)

There is a Canadian comic who jested that if he won the lottery (avert your eyes Gemma) ... and won stacks of money ... he would go down main street on a camel swinging a bag of cats overhead ... yelling ... "Yee Haw!!"

Imitating W.C. Fields in "Road Hog," comes to mind too as an alternative absurd way to conduct yourself after the fact.

Howard Hughes ... no. Well ... maybe ... except I would construct a glass house in that case, to put myself on display for allll to see.

*stops abruptly*

What the heck was that?!?!

Hmm, think I just felt the collective 'shudder' from the membership on my last visual. :oP

Hey. Back from a wonderful *cough* day of shopping with my mum and my brother (Chris). Me and Chris got bored, so we were seeing how many pefrume tester strips we could put in her hood without her noticing. The staff at Bodyshop just thought it was hilarious.

There was something I thought of today that would be great to go on this board... Oh yea, I would go to Ann Summers (a langerie shop), buy all their underwear and chuck it off the top of my school. Just to see how many people think it is raining underwear.

Me thinks gloopical is a wee loopical.

*blushes* ...maybe.

But seriously, a loada people would believe it. You need to know them really.

Methinks Gemma should move away from an living area where people would believe it was raining underwear. ;o)

And we must excuse her loopicalness for the time being ... it's the paracetomol talking ... er ... typing.

I would love ... love to hire a private chef and then a private patisserie.

And then because of that ... a private fitness instructor.

And then because of that ... some people to exercise for me. :oP

Les did you get that off the simpsons or are you just being plain crazy as usual?

I'd buy the whole world high-speed internet....:)

wheeeeee! instant internet porn for the masses...

Oh joy. Porn!

Somebody in my class printed off about 200 copies of a picture of some boobs, and them posted them around the school. It wasn't that funny, just disgusting. And I wonder how he did that, seeing as the computers at my school are linked to the 'grid', who even block most games sites. *mutterings*

I'd also invent a paracetomol that works, and doesn't make me go all dopey.

I made progress today! I just had pancakes without crying.

cool beans..what did you top them with? i kinda like anything with blueberry or raspberry on mine..

No, I had it with lemon and sugar. Over here, the traditional American pancakes are called Scotch pancakes.

I suppose ours are what you would call crepes.

gemma what part of the world do you call home, exactly?

England... sometimes Spain, if I am thinking of it and get confused. I think of it a lot these days... *sighs*

ah, ok. like swedish pancakes then? if so, those are delicious.

Yes, they certainly are. We have a whole day celebrating them around late February! Or March. Can't remember :D

Well, you have narrowed it down somewhat. So, by all means celebrate it for the whole two months. Any questions put to you about it ... have them contact me ... in July or August. ;o)

I want my own internet. That's right ... the whole kit and kaboodle. Just me. And when I go down ... I can get right on the person responsible. >:o/

lll.les.netless

One url, one web ... it's the way of the future people.

sure, just lke we now have the 'an army of one' philosophy in the military. translation :cover your own a$$, don't bother working with others, dont fret over petty concepts like teamwork, etc...

You mean there is only one soldier in Iraq? No wonder we are losing!

there's one song that I really like that is really strange as at the start it's a man speaking about Iraq and the figures.

It's calledThe Rich man- roadrunner united.

pretty damn cool ><

I want a pizza with extra cheese. When you order extra cheese, all it means is extra price. The extra cheese is about one slither, which seems to 'magically' fall off somehow anyway.

It doesn't fall off...the pizza delivery man licks it off before he gets there.

My bad :P

Lol.

There is ... is a joke about how gynecologists and pizza delivery guys are the same. But ... if you want to know it ... you'll have to PM me.

And send me a pizza in stirrups. :oP

Would that be know as ...'Saddle-Sore'?

....lol..

*is not ordering a pizza ever again*

come on have you seen some of these guys...they have enough spots to cover an entire football field...0.o

....lol..

*is not ordering a pizza ever again*

come on have you seen some of these guys...they have enough spots to cover an entire football field...0.o

I don't wanna know. *gives Fred a grape*

What? I don't want them. They've gone all smushy. And Fred doesn't care, he likes food for its entoxicating flavour.

lol you strange person...

but never the less...*grabs grape* i'm kinda hungry...though i have lots and lots of monies on me...ok so it's only five pouds but thats ALOT to someone like me =[

It's a lot to me as well. Especially if you go on a shopping spree in Tesco, usually you can get quite a lot of economy stuff.

ooo thats a point...i may go george at some point...or matalan...thats usually good...but i know ALOT of people who work in matalan...and it scares me 0.o

Matalan. What a great place.

I never see my friends working anywhere, because none of my friends can be trusted apparently. People these days... they stereotype us teens so much.

Now, I must go get arrested.

lol indeed....my mates are just the same...but somehow...SOMEHOW...they manage it...grr.

I need a job...but I'll be damned if I can get one for some odd reason..probably because of college...but I <3 college now. lol

Yay for college!

I probably won't go, I'm gonna stay on at school and do 6th form instead. Then I will already know the teachers, and it won't be so scary. The teachers at my school can be really nice, which is really rare.

Uh oh....another thread hijacked by teenagers. We have to have a PTA meeting quick.

:(

I'm not a teenager! I just don't grow that often.

And the only reason we hijacked it was because we we the only two people here, and we were bored without you guys. BIG HUGS!

exactly! what she said *points above...*

besides i'm 6ft...i don't exactly feel like a teenager...*rolls eyes*

anywhoo...right now for money i would erm...buy alot of lollipops...!!!! lol you'll have to see 12 months from now for that one

Gotta love lollies. I like lolziepops though. So I'd probably buy a loada lolziepops and make them rain from the sky.