You ever have an itch to answer the phone with some kind of witty or sarcastic remarks? How about some obscure greeting left on your answering machine?
Well, here's your chance to be rude to people on the phone. The concept is simple, similar to the "Fortunately, Unfortunately" game, we are basically answering each others attempt to call one another...
As an example (and to kind of start us off) it goes something like:
Ring, Ring...
We're sorry, but due to a lack of interest, we are closed for the day.
Hey there Mister Madman, wat'cha know that I don't know
Tell me some crazy stories, let me know who runs this show
Glassy-eyed and laughing, he turns and walks away
Tell me what made you that way
Hi,my name is Rob..ok, so I'm not the greatest at replies and comments. Sorry. For anyone needing to contact me, my email is back up in my profile. >> my cluttered mess of a gallery
Hey there Mister Madman, wat'cha know that I don't know
Tell me some crazy stories, let me know who runs this show
Glassy-eyed and laughing, he turns and walks away
Tell me what made you that way
Hey there Mister Madman, wat'cha know that I don't know
Tell me some crazy stories, let me know who runs this show
Glassy-eyed and laughing, he turns and walks away
Tell me what made you that way
I'm sorry, We can't come to the phone right now...
*voice in the background* "Dear, I think the restraints are a little tight"
the wife and I are currently engaging in some quality time...
"Dear, really, I'm losing the feeling in my feet"
So if you, if you'll leave your name & number, I'll get back to you later.
*husband* "Who's your daddy? now sing for me..."
*In a grating contralto voice* - "The hill's are alive with the sounds of music"
Hey there Mister Madman, wat'cha know that I don't know
Tell me some crazy stories, let me know who runs this show
Glassy-eyed and laughing, he turns and walks away
Tell me what made you that way
Hey there Mister Madman, wat'cha know that I don't know
Tell me some crazy stories, let me know who runs this show
Glassy-eyed and laughing, he turns and walks away
Tell me what made you that way
Once upon a time… back in my days as a club girl… I got a call @ 10:00 on a fri nite. Aha! This could ONLY be one of my friends calling to make plans, right? okay! "Happy Hooker Whorehouse"
Hello you have got through to the County Home for the mentally insane!...~Matron Speaking~....who's calling!...hello!........hello!.......hello.....'click'....
Hey there Mister Madman, wat'cha know that I don't know
Tell me some crazy stories, let me know who runs this show
Glassy-eyed and laughing, he turns and walks away
Tell me what made you that way
Reminds me of "National Lampoons Christmas Vacation" (coming soon to a TV station near you)... "If I were you, I'd go up there and check every bulb... if you need any help, I'll be upstairs, asleep."
I would rather live my life as if there is a God and die to find out there isn't, than live my life as if there isn't and die to find out there is.
Albert Camus
........
My Gallery
I would rather live my life as if there is a God and die to find out there isn't, than live my life as if there isn't and die to find out there is.
Albert Camus
........
My Gallery
You know what I hate about answering machine messages? They go on and on, wasting your time. I mean, all they really need to say is, "We aren't in, leave a message." That's why I've decided to keep mine simple and short. I pledge to you, my caller, that you will never have to suffer through another long answering machine message when you call me. So, with that said, here are the detailed instructions for leaving a message for me........
ring ring
You have reached ###-####. We picked this machine up at a garage sale in "as-is" condition. You can try to leave a message on it, but we are not sure it will be recorded. If we don't return your call, it means the machine did not work.
ring ring
This is not an answering machine -- this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call.
(This one is one that me and my brother actually did)
Ring ring...
*answerphone*
Hi, this is Cletus. Can't come to the phone right now... I'M HAVING ME A SPONGEBATH!!!
*Jolene* Hey Cletus! Where'd you leave my banjo?
I dunno Jolene! Anyway, you go on now and leave your message after this here beep.
*Jolene* Can we afford a beep?
Uh....
*beep*
Half the people who rang our house didn't leave a message. This was when my dad was trying to find a job, so we probably made him lose the job of a lifetime. Whoops.
Ring-Ring:
Hello?
HI...it's the Birthday Reminder Lady....calling to remind everybody that Keith / aka Keifer is having a birthday tomorrow...{ Dec 10}....muhahahahaha}
Hey there Mister Madman, wat'cha know that I don't know
Tell me some crazy stories, let me know who runs this show
Glassy-eyed and laughing, he turns and walks away
Tell me what made you that way
We're sorry, but was can't come to the phone right now... however, if you are a telemarketer... Get a life and leave me alone, and please don't leave a mesage. I won't return you call.
I would rather live my life as if there is a God and die to find out there isn't, than live my life as if there isn't and die to find out there is.
Albert Camus
........
My Gallery
Ring... Ring ring rinnnnnnnnnggggggggggerrrrrrrrrrrrrr...... Rawr Rawr RAR...
Hi, this is Jay-z crappin up this phone, now i'ma put my flava awn it *starts rappin*
Disclaimer # 2: Due to numerous suicide attempts after ringing this number, the full extended version has veeb edited but is available in all leading music stores, be sure to tie the noose tightly, don't want anyone suffocating to death.
*Reads above post*
Not the best idea today... but Jay-Z did crap up Linkin Park's songs...
"Helloooo, this is Jessebell May's Pizza Parlour. Sorry we can't take your call right now, but I soooooo need a manicure, like, NOW. So go ahead and starve, you're putting on too much weight anyway, fatty."
I know that one is a little mean, but what can you do.
Hello, you have reach the HCFAA (Head Cold & Flu Adoption Agency), we currently have a household brimming over with orphaned head colds. They are very well mannered and potty trained, so no additional training is needed on your part. They are very loving.
If interested in adopting a head cold... please press 1
If you are currently not interestd in adopting one of our loving head colds... please press 2
Well, here's your chance to be rude to people on the phone. The concept is simple, similar to the "Fortunately, Unfortunately" game, we are basically answering each others attempt to call one another...
As an example (and to kind of start us off) it goes something like:
Ring, Ring...
We're sorry, but due to a lack of interest, we are closed for the day.
Ring, Ring...
CurtieBear's morturary, You stab em we slab em...
Ring, Ring...
Got it? OK, so let em rip...
Ring, Ring...