I was reading a verrryyy old issue of a mad magazine and it was about inventions. Yeah, that's right. This is probably the one of the harder threads to think of something to say in, but hey, i kindof want to see if people can think of a bunch of things...also i hope sum1 doesnt really make the invention you said and go an make a patent for it (wouldent that make you happy).

1) Name your invention (it can be one that is already invented).
2) Briefly describe how it would work. (Preferably something that is reasnably possilbe)
3) Then give reasons why it wont work...as in rip on it and make it funny as possible.

I cant give an example cuz i cant remember/think of any.

1 button mouse. Get rid of your PC 2, 3, 4, 5(!) button mice...Use a 1 button mouse to complete all your tasks.

Possible reasons for error: Computer input efficency drops by 20%. =P

Noah, the Mac had the one-button mouse long before Windows existed!
You lose.

Stupid thread filter. Stops stupid threads from showing up on caedes.

Possible reasons for failure: almost every post in the offtopic board would disappear and all the loonies (ie 90% of people who frequent it) would leave...

don't hold back Samatar....hehehehe

uh.....
truth serum....
it makes people brutally honest.....
why it wouldn't work:
{ as long as politicians exist.....there will never be total honesty...}

The Hamster Treehouse!

Basically, it's a little house that you hang on top of the cage, and it has a little spiral staircase.

I had one, but my hamster ate the staircase. He'll eat anything plastic.

Yes, my idea sucks. Hey, I'm still a kid.

Although I did think up a heated bathroom mirror when I was twelve, to stop the water vapour condensing on the mirror (I'm very vain, and can't stand it if there is nothing shiny around).

Then I told my parents about it, and they said it already existed.

They lied ... and went behind your back and am now reaping the rewards of an excellent idea.

Heated underwear. Oh ya ... gives new meaning to the term ... 'hottie.'

*contemplates malfunctions*

Ehh ... could be 'interesting' regardless.

My hamster is eating his foodbowl as we speak. You should have seen the damage he did to the little pink elephant house we put in there. His mouth, which was big to begin with, has been significantly widened.

This just in ... plastic accessories for your beloved hamster that have some nutritional value.

*waits for the inundation of hamster accessories industry phonecalls*

Auto Dimming Front Windshield. It auto dims (like um...those sunglasses that turn dark in bright sun) when you go into dark areas.

Possible reasons for failure: When entering tunnels from bright sunlight, it will take 5 seconds for it to de-dim resulting in 5 seconds of impossible-to-see darkness.

Tailgating Sensors on Cruise Control...you know how some cars have cruise control that puts you at a certain distance behind another car, this is different. This is you being the 'slow car' which senses if sum1 is tailgating you. When sum1 is, the car slowly slows until the person stops tailgating. When on a 1 lane road, this can reeealllly aggrivate the car behind you.

Next Generation Alarm Clocks....they hold a bottle of water and squirt water at you when the alarm goes off.

Problems: The ipod you listen to when you go to bed happens to get wet in the process.

A spelling chequer, it works the same as a cheque, but proofreads what Noah says so he doesn't make stupid mistakes.

One hitch, only works in Czech and it won't proofread Noahs work everyday, so you gotta be lucky... and sometimes it quacks like a duck

Self charging mp3 player

everytime you listen to a song it charges up

Problem is, it's a wind up :)

Well...years ago when I was pregnant with the twins, and miserable beyond belief, I though that they should make pregnant beds...you know, with belly areas adjustable, or even just cut out...so we preggers could actually sleep on our tummies...obviously there'd have to be some kinks worked out...such as, no 2 pregnant bellies are alike...so how to make the adjustments/cut-out work...then the obvious...the mama could just get stuck...

Of course 6+ years aga, I would have risked getting stuck just to have a night on my belly...the irony of course is that I never ever liked sleeping on my stomach until I was pregnant and suddenly COULDN'T if I wanted to. Even now, I'm not a stomach sleeper...but for 37 weeks....I would have killed to sleep on my tummy!!!
**which is probably another reason it wouldn't work...no long-term usefullness**

I wanna be Les's heated underwear.....

I second that idea.

p.s. You already do that. ;o)

Possible causes for failure: ...stench. >_>

LOL.

Ahhh ... but that is where judicious use of cologne comes in. ;o)

hahahaha I love gems idea!

invention

shoe heater.

specially for sandals/dolly shoes.

I'm wearing some today and my feet aren't very cold but my toes are...it's painful walking on cold feet.

Anyway this wouldn't work because someone would short ciruit it by stepping in a puddle..

silly chavs lol.

I've hated rap ever since i heard something different for once at school

Oh, invention #...? 500134

Midget Army

Send your midget army wherever you want, up mountains, in people shoes, through the circus or even get them to glide across canyons.
Your new midget army can perform multitudes of tasks including, self destruction, self atomination, diguising self as a lamp, telling gemma that Davie has seen that episode of futurama and they can even invent things like midget trains! It's a win-win situation... as long as they don't come in contact with an ant or anything bigger.

Problems:
1) hard to find once you fart
2) easily die so replacing them daily can be costly (only $990 per set of 24,000)
3) they can't play guitar >:\
4) they can't count, so your on your own there
5) once they initiate self atominism there's no turning back, mini nukes will go off everywhere
6) even after you teach them a trick, they'll still dance the macarina
7) etc.

invention number _insert number here#

the pizza phone, many uses

1)the pizza phone is a fully working phone with everything needed.
2) eadible in times of need
3) cheap at only $300 (though you will replace it many, many times)
4) it can call for pizza, if your like dave and are stupid enough to see past the obvious.
5) for vegetarians.... there is no alternative, just don't buy the phone and you save your self from a phone made out of living things. unless you get the vegetarian model which still needs pickle calibration.
drawbacks
to make a call you cant avoid slapping your face with the pizza phone to reach the speaker.


and david if you remember you were still listening to crazy frog as early as 2005 until me and nelson came to save the day.