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How To Keep Life Interesting

::bridgebrain
05/04/09 10:30 PM GMT
I'm thinking of compiling the best ways to keep life interesting into a book. Thought I might get everyones additions for it.
Rules: If its been written above, don't write it please. If it hasn't been written, its fair game. Crossthreaders will be smacked relentlessly with a rubber chicken. Numbering would be nice.
Examples:
#1. Assume everything is an innuendo.
#2. Switch Accents daily
#3. When entering a room, do a quick visual sweep of how long you could last in a fight with everyone in it.
#4. When entering a building, assess how sustainable it would be in case of zombie attack.
#5. Attempt to pay everything with exact change.
0∈ [?]

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+purmusic
05/05/09 12:32 AM GMT
6. Maintain an ongoing collection of wrapping paper from gifts received. Of ... other people's presents.

7. Wake up at the crack of dawn ... go into your front yard ... and loudly proclaim; "Time to make the cookies!!!"

Every ... day. (Ok, I got this one covered. :oP)


8. Take a lifetime poll of who would win in a fight from everyone you newly encounter ... Chuck? Or ... god?
0∈ [?]
"An eye for an eye, and soon the whole world is blind." - Mahatma Gandhi
::third_eye
05/05/09 4:20 AM GMT
9) Never ever agree with anyone or anything...especially if they, or it, are actually right >;-)
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Please, even if you don't visit my gallery, check out my "Faves".I've left them intact since day "1", and would like it if every image there got the attention they deserved.
.mxvirgil
05/05/09 6:51 AM GMT
10) Hone your acting skills while inviting yourself to others' family functions where food is served.
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Mares eat oats and does eat oats and little lambs eat ivy. A kid'll eat ivy too, wouldn't you?
::Dunstickin
05/05/09 8:13 AM GMT
11) .. just be yer'self, whether other's like it or not!....
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* To Believe in myself and have faith in my Photography * OwdBob'sGallery
::rp64
05/06/09 6:48 PM GMT
12) Pick a fight with Rob /\, ESPECIALLY if you know you are right !
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Help stop corporate greed
::third_eye
05/06/09 8:53 PM GMT
13) Wear a "Jets Suck!" tee shirt..in Giants colors...to a Jets game..
0∈ [?]
Please, even if you don't visit my gallery, check out my "Faves".I've left them intact since day "1", and would like it if every image there got the attention they deserved.
.SatCom
05/08/09 1:02 AM GMT
14) ALWAYS smile no matter how bad things are.....It makes people wonder what you are up to.

15) Walk around in a crowded parking lot swinging your keys in your hands and see how many cars will follow you to try and get your space.
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Sometimes I do get to places just when God's ready to have somebody click the shutter. - Ansel Adams....... My Gallery
+purmusic
05/18/09 12:12 AM GMT
16. Wear 3D glasses ... allllll the time.

And then periodically and frequently, thrust your arms out in front of you as if warding off something, exclaiming, "Whooooaaa ... that was close!!"

And ... come sustenance time?

Knock over your choice of libations ... constantly, with the added exclamation of, "I could have sworn that was farther away!!"

17. Wear your clothes ... inside out.

18. Reverse the order of dressing, outerwear first, followed by ... well, you know whatever ... leading finally to the unmentionables.
0∈ [?]
"An eye for an eye, and soon the whole world is blind." - Mahatma Gandhi
::rp64
05/18/09 12:18 AM GMT
19. Remind Les that as far as our collective conciousness can tell he spends 95% of his time nekid anyway so he is hardly one to give advice on the order in which to get dressed.

20. Follow Les around during the above mentioned 95% of the time, while wearing 3d glasses and periodically yelling "Hey watch where you're pointing that thing"!
0∈ [?]
Enter the "Shadows" contest here.
+purmusic
05/18/09 2:33 PM GMT
/\ LOL.
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"An eye for an eye, and soon the whole world is blind." - Mahatma Gandhi
::solita17
05/19/09 5:25 AM GMT
ROFLMAO!!
0∈ [?]
"Never let your studies interfere with your education." - Pete Seeger
::Dunstickin
05/19/09 8:14 AM GMT
Don't 'bare' thinking about eh!!!....
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* To Believe in myself and have faith in my Photography * OwdBob'sGallery
::third_eye
05/19/09 10:01 PM GMT
When asked rudely for information, directions etc... cheerfully LIE through your TEETH. It' s so much more gratifying than a dirty look, and gets rid of the irritating individual much faster than saying you don't know... >:-)
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Please, even if you don't visit my gallery, check out my "Faves".I've left them intact since day "1", and would like it if every image there got the attention they deserved.
::rp64
05/19/09 10:13 PM GMT
22. Cheerfully remind Rob that according to Roberts Rules of Order his post is out of order as it is not numbered.
0∈ [?]
Enter the "Shadows" contest here.
+purmusic
05/19/09 10:23 PM GMT
Heyyyy ... Rich did just as Rob suggested, in his prior post! (Kind of, sort of.)

Seems to work well ...

:oP


23. Pop your head into your respective big cheese's office weekly (preferrably on late Friday afternoons) and tell him/her from the doorway;

"Sir/Madam, Johnson is at it ... a -gain. Better look into the matter before it escalates into something unpleasantly legal for us."

And leave.
0∈ [?]
"An eye for an eye, and soon the whole world is blind." - Mahatma Gandhi
+purmusic
05/21/09 2:21 AM GMT
24. On appropriate occasions, insofar as headwear is concerned ... take another poll of people as to whether or not;

"Does this hat make my head look fat?"


Be prepared to be ridiculed and ostracized, though. :o|

/\ Just a head's up.
0∈ [?]
"An eye for an eye, and soon the whole world is blind." - Mahatma Gandhi
.SatCom
05/21/09 7:04 PM GMT
25. Wear 2 different colored socks and when people notice, tell them you have a pair just like them at home.

26. Next time someone asks you (and they will...trust me) if your tire went flat, say "No..the other 3 just swelled right up on me." Then walk away and watch their faces.
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Sometimes I do get to places just when God's ready to have somebody click the shutter. - Ansel Adams....... My Gallery
::rp64
05/21/09 7:12 PM GMT
27. Wear one cowboy boot and one flip-flop. When people ask you why explain that ever since you went off the meds you are having trouble making tough choices.
0∈ [?]
Enter the "Shadows" contest here.
.mxvirgil
05/22/09 12:43 AM GMT
28. At work, skip everywhere you go, reciting the words to "The Good Ship Lollipop" in Gregorian chant. If queried, explain that you now worship at the Shirley Temple.
0∈ [?]
Mares eat oats and does eat oats and little lambs eat ivy. A kid'll eat ivy too, wouldn't you?
+purmusic
05/23/09 10:28 AM GMT
29. Become an image moderator for an art/desktop wallpaper website. :oP
0∈ [?]
"An eye for an eye, and soon the whole world is blind." - Mahatma Gandhi
::solita17
05/24/09 9:38 PM GMT
29&1/2 if, as a female, you're tired of waiting in line for the women's restroom, use the men's room.... then when you finally reappear, smile sweetly at the line of men that has now appeared, and say, "Not to worry, I'm in drag..." Men are welcome to try this, using the women's room, but it loses something in the translation...
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"Never let your studies interfere with your education." - Pete Seeger
.chumly_12
05/25/09 8:59 AM GMT
30. Lunge wildly at a public figurehead
0∈ [?]
~Art is a lie that makes us realize the truth~
+purmusic
05/25/09 11:35 AM GMT
/\ Thread WIN ... for the The Infamous Tommy.
0∈ [?]
"An eye for an eye, and soon the whole world is blind." - Mahatma Gandhi
.chumly_12
05/27/09 9:56 PM GMT
31.Give directions to a stranger... even if they don't ask for them... and especially if you don't actually know the way
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~Art is a lie that makes us realize the truth~
::third_eye
05/27/09 11:35 PM GMT
*backhands Tommy for plagurism*

I believe you stole your subject matter from my (un-numbered) post above Rich's #22. I'm thinking a good -500 karma would be a fitting punishment :p
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Please, even if you don't visit my gallery, check out my "Faves".I've left them intact since day "1", and would like it if every image there got the attention they deserved.
.LynEve
05/28/09 12:47 AM GMT
32. Hold open automatic doors for people.

33.Show people your driver's license and ask if they have seen this person.
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The question is not what you look at, but what you see ~ Marcel Proust
::rp64
05/28/09 2:33 AM GMT
34. Shop from other peoples carts at the grocery store. Whne they object point out they haven't paid for the foog yet, so it's not technically theirs yet...

35. Plagerize Robs posts just to drive him nuts.
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Enter the "Shadows" contest here.
.chumly_12
05/28/09 4:51 AM GMT
I did not plagurise i cant see that post

36. Attend every wedding you happen to find... and if applicable... make a speech




0∈ [?]
~Art is a lie that makes us realize the truth~
+purmusic
05/28/09 11:51 AM GMT
37. Insist on sizings, where trying on new clothing and the like are concerned ... that is obviously not your size.

"Yes sir, may I help you?"

"Please ... do you have these in triple-E wide and size 17? My feet tend to swell during the day ..."

Or ...

(*looking in store mirror at yourself ... *)

"Excellent! I need the extra room ... don't enjoy the feeling of being constricted by shirts(/pants/jeans .. et al), like that of a boa about to devour it's prey ... I need room to move.

... ...

Been hitting the weights, can you tell?"
0∈ [?]
"An eye for an eye, and soon the whole world is blind." - Mahatma Gandhi
::danika
05/28/09 5:17 PM GMT
38. When someone says something to you ... repeat exactly what they say 'word for word' back at them. I guarantee the other person will respond ... just keep repeating what they say.

The conversation appears to be not getting anywheres ... or does it?

A side note ... my hubby does this to me all the time (the repeat part) ... it's his polite way of saying, "Will you just shut-up".

Irritates the heck out of me.
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We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give ~ Winston Churchill
::solita17
05/28/09 5:55 PM GMT
My father used to yell at me for repeating his questions back at him... it was my less-than-polite way of stalling for time to prevent him from yelling at me... go figure...

0∈ [?]
"Never let your studies interfere with your education." - Pete Seeger
+purmusic
05/29/09 12:08 AM GMT
39. When someone says something to you ... repeat exactly what they say 'word for word' back at them. I guarantee the other person will respond ... just keep repeating what they say.

The conversation appears to be not getting anywheres ... or does it?

A side note ... my hubby does this to me all the time (the repeat part) ... it's his polite way of saying, "Will you just shut-up".

Irritates the heck out of me.

40. My father used to yell at me for repeating his questions back at him... it was my less-than-polite way of stalling for time to prevent him from yelling at me... go figure...


:oP
0∈ [?]
"An eye for an eye, and soon the whole world is blind." - Mahatma Gandhi
::solita17
05/29/09 3:58 AM GMT
I could comment... but I won't...
0∈ [?]
"Never let your studies interfere with your education." - Pete Seeger
::rp64
05/29/09 4:28 AM GMT
I could comment... but I won't...
0∈ [?]
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, body thoroughly used up and totally worn out, screaming "WOO HOO - What a Ride!"
::laurengary
05/29/09 4:52 AM GMT
Ohhhhh I get it !!!! Humor ! Har. de har de har de har de ........


har.
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I've got amnesia & deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before ! ... That was Zen, but this is Tao !!! ...CLICK TO SAVE LIVES !
=Samatar
05/29/09 5:09 AM GMT
How to keep life interesting... Read threads backwards. For a few minutes there I thought I had learned something about Les I didn't know before.
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-Everyone is entitled to my opinion- rescope.com.au
=Samatar
05/29/09 5:09 AM GMT
How to keep life interesting... Read threads from the last post up. For a few minutes there I thought I had learned something about Les I didn't know before.
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-Everyone is entitled to my opinion- rescope.com.au
::solita17
05/29/09 6:33 AM GMT
Everybody, repeat after me! This thread has just sunk to the depths of a new low: Somewhere in kindergarten, where it was hilarious fun to be so completely obnoxious... ;-))
0∈ [?]
"Never let your studies interfere with your education." - Pete Seeger
::rp64
05/29/09 5:10 PM GMT
41. Repeat everything backwards.

;-))...obnoxious completly so be to fun hilarious was it where, kingergarten in Somwhere. :low new a of depths the to sunk just has thread This ! me after repeat, Everydody
0∈ [?]
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, body thoroughly used up and totally worn out, screaming "WOO HOO - What a Ride!"
::solita17
05/29/09 6:53 PM GMT
wait just one minute... uno momento, por favor.... who is Everydody??

42. write letters and/or e-mails in mirror image... all your friends and colleagues will thank you for the great fun you gave them holding up your missives to a mirror to figure them out.
0∈ [?]
"Never let your studies interfere with your education." - Pete Seeger
::third_eye
05/29/09 8:04 PM GMT
43. Have an original thought. Be the first person to do or say something. Have an oinion that wasn't originally someone else's.

The road less traveled isn't just a book...
0∈ [?]
Please, even if you don't visit my gallery, check out my "Faves".I've left them intact since day "1", and would like it if every image there got the attention they deserved.
.mxvirgil
05/29/09 8:32 PM GMT
44. Be friendly, kind and couteous to everyone -- family, friends and strangers -- and wait for the commitment papers to arrive...
0∈ [?]
Mares eat oats and does eat oats and little lambs eat ivy. A kid'll eat ivy too, wouldn't you?
.chumly_12
05/30/09 6:07 AM GMT
ask for change in the smallest currency you can get no matter how much change you are getting even if it comes to hundreds of dollars
0∈ [?]
~Art is a lie that makes us realize the truth~
.chumly_12
05/30/09 6:07 AM GMT
50. skip some posts to shake up the forum
0∈ [?]
~Art is a lie that makes us realize the truth~
.chumly_12
05/30/09 6:08 AM GMT
51.double or triple post


(sorry by the way)
0∈ [?]
~Art is a lie that makes us realize the truth~
::rp64
05/30/09 2:51 PM GMT
52. Hide Tommys meds and scatter bright shimy things around the thread.
0∈ [?]
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, body thoroughly used up and totally worn out, screaming "WOO HOO - What a Ride!"
.chumly_12
05/31/09 12:23 AM GMT
WHERE WHERE WHERE

*pants wildly*
0∈ [?]
~Art is a lie that makes us realize the truth~
::rp64
05/31/09 1:58 AM GMT
Over that way >>>>>>>>>, around the corner and through the door under the sign that says 'exit'...
0∈ [?]
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, body thoroughly used up and totally worn out, screaming "WOO HOO - What a Ride!"
::solita17
05/31/09 4:23 AM GMT
... and straight on till morning. Lots and lots of shiny things over there...
0∈ [?]
"Never let your studies interfere with your education." - Pete Seeger
::third_eye
05/31/09 6:20 AM GMT
53. Point out to young Tommy that alot of bright shiny "spare parts" can be found on Rich's allegedly pink Harley. Point out also that Rich probably wouldn't miss them...seeing how he'd prefer a Honda scooter and all..
0∈ [?]
Please, even if you don't visit my gallery, check out my "Faves".I've left them intact since day "1", and would like it if every image there got the attention they deserved.
::rp64
05/31/09 6:38 AM GMT
49. Renumber the posts to make up for the ones Tommy skipped.

50. Call the local Hell's Angels and let them know that Rob described THEM as a bunch of Honda Scooter riding liberal tree huggers...

~~not that there's anything wrong with that~~

51. In a masterful coup of cross threading wait outside the exit door /\ and hijack the thread from Tommy.
0∈ [?]
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, body thoroughly used up and totally worn out, screaming "WOO HOO - What a Ride!"
+purmusic
05/31/09 7:02 PM GMT
54. Dial 91..2.

55. Go into your fav electronics store ... dressed in pajamas with a bag of popcorn, armload of DVDs ... and ask where the TV's are located.

56. On the above note, locate your nearest exotic car dealership ... present yourself to a salesperson in the showroom, dressed shabbily and unshaven of course ... and ask for a test drive of any car.
0∈ [?]
"An eye for an eye, and soon the whole world is blind." - Mahatma Gandhi
+purmusic
06/01/09 3:23 AM GMT
57. Rickroll your fav website's discussion forum's threads.
0∈ [?]
"An eye for an eye, and soon the whole world is blind." - Mahatma Gandhi
::rp64
06/01/09 4:12 AM GMT
~~LMFAO~~
0∈ [?]
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, body thoroughly used up and totally worn out, screaming "WOO HOO - What a Ride!"
::danika
06/02/09 5:02 AM GMT
58. Talk to your seven adult dogs like they are unruly teenagers.

"Get your paws out my purse & don't touch those green doggy biscuits".

"Get in the backseat where you belong ... you're not driving today or ever".

"Do not leave the yard. You are grounded ... for life".

"Hey, who ate all of the apple pie? I just took it out of the oven moments ago".

"No, we're not stopping at DQ for ice cream".

"When the vet comes into the room ... I'm begging you ... please don't grab her leg".

Well you get the idea ... maybe????
0∈ [?]
We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give ~ Winston Churchill
::rp64
06/02/09 3:40 PM GMT
59. Humor Sherree and nod and play along as if this is an everyday occurence in a normal persons life.
0∈ [?]
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, body thoroughly used up and totally worn out, screaming "WOO HOO - What a Ride!"
::third_eye
06/03/09 3:29 PM GMT
60. Wave "bye" and smile maddingly at stand-still traffic while passing by traffic-free at or above the speed limit on the opposite side.

As for the Hell's Angel's I should be ok as long as I'm not in the front row at a Stones concert..
0∈ [?]
Please, even if you don't visit my gallery, check out my "Faves".I've left them intact since day "1", and would like it if every image there got the attention they deserved.
::solita17
06/04/09 4:49 AM GMT
61. Dress as a Hell's Angel at a posh cocktail party and tell everyone this is just one of your 17 personalities.
0∈ [?]
"Never let your studies interfere with your education." - Pete Seeger
.mxvirgil
06/04/09 5:42 AM GMT
62. Feed an imaginary friend at a restaurant, then tell the waitress he's picking up the tab.
0∈ [?]
Mares eat oats and does eat oats and little lambs eat ivy. A kid'll eat ivy too, wouldn't you?
::rp64
06/04/09 3:17 PM GMT
63. Go to Burger King, tell them you want it your way, and order a a whopper, hold the onions, and a soda...hold the cup...
0∈ [?]
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, body thoroughly used up and totally worn out, screaming "WOO HOO - What a Ride!"
+purmusic
06/16/09 12:04 AM GMT
64. Go to work dressed as a ... Ninja.

On 'casual Fridays', of course.
0∈ [?]
"An eye for an eye, and soon the whole world is blind." - Mahatma Gandhi
::third_eye
06/16/09 10:21 AM GMT
65. Leave Les with nothing but crumbs in his cookie jar, a drop of milk in the container, and few strings from used tea bags...

>:o)
0∈ [?]
Please, even if you don't visit my gallery, check out my "Faves".I've left them intact since day "1", and would like it if every image there got the attention they deserved.
+purmusic
06/16/09 6:25 PM GMT
O.O

... ...
... ...

(*comes to, after a short period ...*)

Wow, I think I caught a glimpse of ... hell ... :o|

:oD


66(6). Automatically subscribe Rob to each and every discussion, wherein, ... the infamous 'C' word is brought up.

With ... no option to unsubscribe.

>:oD
0∈ [?]
"An eye for an eye, and soon the whole world is blind." - Mahatma Gandhi
=Samatar
06/17/09 10:38 PM GMT
Send yourself a pm (as a reminder, in my case). Then get all excited when you notice a new message two minutes later. *rolls eyes*
0∈ [?]
-Everyone is entitled to my opinion- rescope.com.au
+purmusic
06/17/09 10:49 PM GMT
Lol.

I haz done that, three.


68) Hang around fire stations, and offer to walk their dog, 'Spotty' ... for the 'Chief'.

Acknowledging in your offers ... that the Chief's time is best spent in efforts towards the ends of 'quenching the flames of destruction'.

Be prepared, though ... and wear something water-resistant, when they turn the hoses on you.

Not that I am speaking from first-hand experience, mind you. T'was a friend ... named ... er, Leo. Yeah, that's it.

:oP
0∈ [?]
"An eye for an eye, and soon the whole world is blind." - Mahatma Gandhi
+purmusic
06/18/09 11:28 AM GMT
69) Work only during break and lunch times.

Your boss will be most impressed.

70) Subscribe to the wordsmith.org website and make a point of getting the 'word of the day' in, at least, fifty (50) times. No more, no 'les's.

And ... regardless if it makes sense in any conversational context.

"Yes, I agree with you Robinson ... watched the game myself last night and it was truly 'purlicue'.

71) Fill out crossword puzzles ... incorrectly, and leave them conspicuously lying about for others to see your 'dissimulation'.

... ...

Crap, that makes sense. :o|

:oP
0∈ [?]
"An eye for an eye, and soon the whole world is blind." - Mahatma Gandhi
.raquel10
06/18/09 6:01 PM GMT
72) Go into a store, stand by the door and stare down everyone who enters. Whenever someone returns the eye contact, wink at them.


73) Go into a high-end clothing store and begin singing a love song to one of the mannequins. (It's also effective to hold the mannequin's hand and stroke your cheek with it while singing).
0∈ [?]
"Do you know what the scariest thing is? To not know your place in this world, to not know why you're here."
::danika
06/18/09 7:47 PM GMT
74) Invite your friends over for a friendly hockey game in your backyard, but instead play bottle cap hockey ... with pens as the sticks and a bottle cap as the puck.

75) I highly don't recommend this one from past experience, but here goes.

Fry up some bacon when you are totally nekid.

76) Phone NASA & tell them you would like to book a space trip.

77) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream, " I Won! I Won! Third time this week!"

78) Dress up like a flight attendant and stand in an elevator, when people get on hand them peanuts and tell them to enjoy their flight.
0∈ [?]
We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give ~ Winston Churchill
+purmusic
06/18/09 11:13 PM GMT
/\ Howls for #78. :oD

And I definitely concur on #75. :oP


79) Rush onto a bus, produce the fare ... and loudly exclaim to the bus driver;

"Follow that car!!"
0∈ [?]
"An eye for an eye, and soon the whole world is blind." - Mahatma Gandhi
::third_eye
06/19/09 1:04 AM GMT
80) Go into a supermarket, and at the register, ask for change of a five.. and then show them a nickel.
0∈ [?]
Please, even if you don't visit my gallery, check out my "Faves".I've left them intact since day "1", and would like it if every image there got the attention they deserved.
+purmusic
06/19/09 3:21 AM GMT
81) Wear a sandwich board, that reads; "Free Willy!!" ... with a strategically placed downward pointing arrow ... and traverse the sidewalks of your downtown core.
0∈ [?]
"An eye for an eye, and soon the whole world is blind." - Mahatma Gandhi
.mxvirgil
06/19/09 3:49 AM GMT
82) Light birthday candles at your favorite pizza place and demand the staff all sing Happy Birthday just like the rest of the pizza places do. (Les, wearing your 'birthday suit' is optional...) ;oP
0∈ [?]
Mares eat oats and does eat oats and little lambs eat ivy. A kid'll eat ivy too, wouldn't you?
+purmusic
06/20/09 5:32 AM GMT
Oh me, me, me!!

I get to lick the candles!!

:oD


83) Call up a pizza joint, and ask the following question;

"Is it ok to take-out my pickup order and still get the walk-in discount?"

84) Bring your own set of scales with you to the checkout counter at the grocery store and insist on using yours, not the built-in one, to weigh various items.

85) Fill your cart at the grocery store, and then once the items have been rung up and through the checkout ... ask for a recount.

Of course, ensure that you are proudly wearing and prominently displaying your "Gore Lieberman 2000", "Texans for Gore", "Gina LaCava Supports Al Gore for President 2000 ohio afl-cio", "Florida Women for Gore 80 Years With The Vote 1920 - 2000", "AFL-CIO For Gore Lieberman", "Keep America Beautiful Gore" ... buttons on your lapel.

The cashiers like that kind of stuff.
0∈ [?]
"An eye for an eye, and soon the whole world is blind." - Mahatma Gandhi
::third_eye
06/20/09 7:15 PM GMT
86.) Have people make political jokes about their own country ;-)
0∈ [?]
Please, even if you don't visit my gallery, check out my "Faves".I've left them intact since day "1", and would like it if every image there got the attention they deserved.
::solita17
06/20/09 8:09 PM GMT
87.) When your waitress/waiter asks you once too often if everything is fine, roll your eyes and reply, "It's stayin' down..."

87) When asked by a tourist on Cape Cod, Have you lived here all your life? answer, "Not yet."
0∈ [?]
"Never let your studies interfere with your education." - Pete Seeger
::twinkel
06/20/09 9:37 PM GMT
89) Say to a person on the train when you get on board..."hey, your sitting on my couch/place", you should see their faces :oD

90) Go buy with your kid an icecream and ask one with and one without the decoration, *you know the colored little balls* and they will give the decorated icecream to your kid and the kid will say...no that one is for my mom O.O :o))

0∈ [?]
Carpe Diem
.chumly_12
06/21/09 5:38 AM GMT
91) Crawl to work
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~Art is a lie that makes us realize the truth~
::danika
06/21/09 6:14 AM GMT
Crawl to work? ... hey, my dogs will think I'm one of them.

I've had a few blonde related episodes over the years, but this one takes the cake.

92) Walk into an auto parts store and in a serious voice say, "I want to order a muffler belt for my car / truck / whatever". Don't forget to mention the make of the vehicle plus model & year.

That was the first & last time I've seen 4 guys make a bee-line to the men's room. I think those silent giggles did them in.

... and guys say gals go to the women's room in groups ... not anymore ... I have proof.

Muffler belt???? What else could be causing that rattling noise? Backordered indefinitely. :-(
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We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give ~ Winston Churchill
+purmusic
06/21/09 10:51 PM GMT
/\ (*snicker ...*)

93) Extend your family (adopt or invest with a reputable breeder (*points above him*) ... to include a cat and dog.

And then subsequently name the cat; "Dog" ... and the dog; "Cat".

94) Carry around a small sun dial in your pocket while wearing a conspicuous time piece on your wrist.

And then wait for someone to ask, "Excuse me ... do you know what time is it?"

Pull out said sun dial ... waffle with providing a definitive time, and insist that the asking person's shadow is interferring with things.

"Hmmm ... could be 2:20, could be 3:20 ... not sure ... my you have a big head ..."
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"An eye for an eye, and soon the whole world is blind." - Mahatma Gandhi
.chumly_12
06/22/09 9:53 AM GMT
95) Let Les answer questions you wish to avoid.... you dont know could provide some classic moments
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~Art is a lie that makes us realize the truth~
.J_272004
06/22/09 11:36 AM GMT
96) Getting surprises that pop-up when you least expect them.. lol
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MY GALLERY ........... "You are not alive unless you know you are living." Amadeo Modigliani
::third_eye
06/22/09 11:58 AM GMT
97) as a follow-up to 95.. call/write Les for assistance with an alibi for that "reading material" which was discovered in it's "discrete location"

;-)
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Please, even if you don't visit my gallery, check out my "Faves".I've left them intact since day "1", and would like it if every image there got the attention they deserved.
.Jhihmoac
06/25/09 2:12 AM GMT
98)...BOLD out you number indexes using HTML...

99)...In a crowded elevator...Tell the one-liner that "Riding an elevator is like drinking a cup of well made java...Good to the last drop!"

100)...Say "Nyahh Nyahh"...I got "line 100"!
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"CH-CH-CH-Hhh-Hhh-Hhh"... Visit Jhihmoac's Gallery
.chumly_12
06/27/09 12:57 AM GMT
101) rtow rgw kwrrwe vwdiew rgw ibw tiy q(CAPSLOCK)br ri rtoe

(Decode that one guys)
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~Art is a lie that makes us realize the truth~
+purmusic
07/09/09 4:17 AM GMT
Wellll ... I tried my Captain Crunch Decoder Ring ... no go.

I researched WWI and WWII encryption ... still no go.

My best guess? As to what the The Infamous Tommy is saying in his above post? 'Tis this;

"purmusic should rule the world, provided that he takes of that infected nail on his big toe. 'Cause really ... who wants a ruler with fungal stuff happening on his feet."

Pretty sure that that is ... close. As in, atmomic bombs and where cricket fields are concerned.

You know ... 'close', like I said.

:oP


102) Hang around grocery store aisles ... and whenever someone goes to pick an item ... rush in before them and put that exact same item in your cart. Repeat, ad nauseam on other shoppers.

Well, that is ... until someone takes a watermelon to your melon.

At that point? Go find another store. Repeat .. ad .. nauseam.

:oD
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"An eye for an eye, and soon the whole world is blind." - Mahatma Gandhi
::rp64
07/09/09 4:23 AM GMT
103) Point out to Les that #102 bears a striking resemblance to #34...albeit not quite as concise.

No cookies for you tonite!
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Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, body thoroughly used up and totally worn out, screaming "WOO HOO - What a Ride!"
+purmusic
07/09/09 4:32 AM GMT
Similar, yes.

However, different.

As one has to be fleet of foot to be able to abscond with said grocery items BEFORE the other shopper has had a chance to place them in their respective cart.

... ...

Wait a minute ... ... I see what's happening here ...

103) Don't post to the Offtopic discussion threads until an opening exists to ensure that the membership is further enthralled with the musings from my mind.

:oD
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"An eye for an eye, and soon the whole world is blind." - Mahatma Gandhi
.mxvirgil
07/15/09 1:20 PM GMT
104) Don't post to any thread which deserves to die of natural causes...
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Mares eat oats and does eat oats and little lambs eat ivy. A kid'll eat ivy too, wouldn't you?
::third_eye
07/15/09 6:25 PM GMT
105) With a straight face, declare your belief that a thread that should die of natural causes..or live on, with a modicum of dignity, actually will...

HAHAHAHA

sorry... I couldn't do it :p
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Please, even if you don't visit my gallery, check out my "Faves".I've left them intact since day "1", and would like it if every image there got the attention they deserved.
.chumly_12
07/16/09 12:11 AM GMT
106) Make up new names for everyone... each day...

107) Laugh loudly at the word "The" every time it is used in any sentence *works well in board meetings*

108) Declare to all your friends that You are what Willis was talkin' bout'

109) wear a jester hat to bed

110) Place a large fish next to or inside or computer or any type of technology... if queried state that it is simply "fish and Chips"

111) Talk for a whole day in Morse code
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~Art is a lie that makes us realize the truth~
::solita17
07/16/09 5:22 AM GMT
wait... my father-in-law used to talk in Morse code... first time he left a message on our machine I thought he might need some Thorazine sometime very soon...

112) Introduce yourself at the head of the receiving line at a reception, then with each successive introduction use a different name.
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"Never let your studies interfere with your education." - Pete Seeger
.chumly_12
07/16/09 5:40 AM GMT
113) Pick one man... only one... and torment him from a distance
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~Art is a lie that makes us realize the truth~

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