If you look at this post of Saskaru's you can see a highly trained group of young men who protect us all over the world.

I am looking for those who would like to enlist in the R.O.O.F.
We need more help in keeping the world safe and we are the ones that can do it. We will let Biffo get us in shape.

The R.O.O. F. is the Regiment Of Old Farts.

Join today.

I'm in, right in......

There are two of us, but we need more.

The Roof..Do you have a tile missing?..

That posting is a Magnificent oiece of work and it's due to young men like this that the world is a safer place. The world needs a lot more love and peace.

I'm in I'll join the R.O.O.F., lol

I'll have you know i was in the SAS......The Saturdays and Sundays..Bit like the National guard really...Only we had spears and shields..Anyway I'm gonna dig out my old drill stick..Bull up my boots and my God am i gonna get you orrible lot in shape...Just remember one thing bonny lads..I'm yer mother now..Ayup 1.2...

I am the CEO of R.O.O.F......lol :=)

So the R.O.O.F. would be the Upper Echelon of the Home Guard then? 8•P

I'm in. I'm only 57 can I be in the junior branch?

We will put you in charge of recruitment and reminders Caruso. I have a feeling you will be more busy reminding us who we are and where we are then anything else.
Spread the word. We need recruits.

Tick, I would like to be in. I am old. But I am not sure if I can still fart!!

Just as long as the gas isn't lumpy, you are in Shads.

Have you seen the commercial on TV where Bigfoot farts on the campfire, and sends the teasing campers running? I taught him to do that. LOL. Sign me up.

I have seen the commercial and it is hilarious.

There will be no flatulence on my parade...Sgt Rock..

Must all get together once in a while and have a drop or two of the good stuff to get rid of the flatulence! Count me in as senior member! (all seniors over 70 should have special privileges).

Thanks Tick for allowing me to join and I will do my best to keep it in, or, keep silent!

I'm a fartess - do I qualify?? haha! ...

If you love life, honor and country and are a senior--you are in Ms Fartness.

Please note : This new organisation may be called R.O.O.F. but I can assure potential members that there is no ceiling to the opportunities we offer. If you are an O.F. (Old Fart) then sign up and the sky's the limit!!

I believe Caruso has just become our Liaisons Office.

Tick, can I be the granted peerage as the First Duke of the Royal Air Fresheners, and Viscount of Blueflamesarenotus? Unless, of course those titles have already been granted.

Consider it done Shads. lol Don't forget to report to Sgt. Rock for drill.

I would like to join - but could I be addressed as an Oldish Fartess please?

:)

No problem LE, you can be the Oldish Let er' Ripness, as well.

I will support you from the sidelines! I'm just too young to qualify! : )

We need someone to come home to E~. Perhaps we will find you employment as a Riveter. :)

I'm not sure whether I qualify....

I am pure of heart...Not fart!....

From what I have heard Owd Timer, I have to differ on your statement. You may become The Blaster instead of The Master.

You mean..............

"The Master Blaster"!!!

Whoa..........Fame at last!....

You have it figured out Owd Master Blaster.

More like, "Flame at last!!!!"

I received the following message from Opie, Satcom (Paul)

My computer crashed with I think a bad hard drive...think I had a power surge because I lost other items also. I don't know how long it will be before I get another puter to do all my downloading on....so bare with me. Sorry for the inconvenience and Tell everyone at Caedes I'll BE BACK AS SOON AS i CAN AFFORD A NEW COMPUTER.

Sorry to hear about Paul's puter crash!...

sell the lawn mower mate....Puters are more important than grass! .. lol :-))

The fart it is a wondrous thing that's made inside your belly,
It comes out of your bottom and is often very smelly.
Now, everybody does them, from beggars through to queens
And you can do some beauties when you've been eating beans!

So don't worry about those rumblings,
Be proud of all your trumps!
But remember, if you strain too hard
Your farts come out as lumps!




There was a young fellow from Sparta.
A really magnificent farter.
On the strength of one bean
He'd fart "God Save the Queen,"
And Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata.

He could vary, with proper persuasion,
His fart to suit any occasion.
He could fart like a flute,
Like a lark, like a lute,
This highly fartistic Caucasian.

This sparkling young farter from Sparta,
His fart for no money would barter.
He could roar from his rear
Any scene from Shakespeare,
Or Gilbert and Sullivan's Mikado.

Nobody could play the classics finer,
As he showed me one day in the diner.
I had a bagel with lox
While he played from his buttocks:
Chopin's Etude #12 in C-minor.

He'd fart a gavotte for a starter,
And fizzle a fine serenata.
He could play on his anus
The Coriolanus:
Oof, boom,er-tum,tootle, yum tah-dah!

He was great in the Christmas Cantata,
He could double-stop fart the Toccata,
He'd boom from his ass
Bach's B-Minor Mass,
And in counterpoint, La Traviata.

Spurred on by a very high wager
With an envious German named Bager,
He'd proceeded to fart
The complete oboe part
Of a Haydn Octet in B-major.

His reportoire ranged from classics to jazz,
He achieved new effects with bubbles of gas.
With a good dose of salts
He could whistle a waltz
Or swing it in razzamatazz.

His basso profundo with timbre so rare
He rendered quite often, with power to spare.
But his great work of art,
His fortissimo fart,
He saved for the Marche Militaire.

One day he was dared to perform
The William Tell Overture Storm,
But naught could dishearten
Our spirited Spartan,
For his fart was in wonderful form.

It went off in capital style,
And he farted it through with a smile,
Then, feeling quite jolly,
He tried the finale,
Blowing double-stopped farts all the while.

The selection was tough, I admit,
But it did not dismay him one bit,
Then, with his ass thrown aloft
He suddenly coughed...
And collapsed in a shower of shit.

His bunghole was blown back to Sparta,
Where they buried the rest of our farter,
With a gravestone of turds
Inscribed with the words:
"To the Fine Art of Farting, A Martyr."

Me thinks you have too much time on your hands whilst lying on the floor Mark. I think you should be in charge of the band in our group. The conductor if you will.

if a herd of owd Ants all farted together....

would that be know as an 'Ant'omic' explosion?...

On Guard!........

My Aunt Sadie was an Auntomic explosion all by herself.

You guys should come and sniff the air in Green Springs, Ohio...which is only 5 miles from where I live. There is a natural sulfur springs and it smells like the entire community letting out a big one at the same time.

I have been around those sulphur springs and rotten eggs don't even run a close second.

That's nothing

Wor-Lass would put that place to shame!....Yuk..yuk!....

What this regiment needs is a mascot and I propose THIS swan.They might be coming from the wrong end, but at least it's blowing bubbles!

Mascot excepted. So what is he name? His rank is Pvt.

Could I suggest 'Swanalot'?

(I coulda said Fartalot too)..but tried to keep it clean!!!!!

Pvt Sir Swanalot, sounds good to me.

PVT Bubbles....almost sounds like an oxymoron.

I have to say that my vote goes to Pvt Bubbles.

I agree. Pvt Bubbles sounds great.