Know any good ones to add ?
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Women are great leaders, You're following one

My other car is a broom

HELP! The paranoids are after me!

We're staying together for the sake of the cats.

Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.

Always use tasteful words. You may have to eat them.

Are the voices in my head bothering you?

Boldly going nowhere!

Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

I may be slow, but I'm ahead of you.

Hehe Sherree I think I stopped to think but I can not remember what about. . .

I'm Out of Estrogen And I Have a Gun.

I'm not as think as you drunk I am.

If you can read this I have lost my caravan.un.

"Hit me...I need to get on disability..."

"My other car has a rubber-band engine too..."

"My kid is tailgating YOU!"

"Proud parent of an honor student at Leavenworth..."

"FYI: My brake lights are out!"

"It might be junk, but it's got lower mileage than yours..."

"I'm not a soccer parent...I just made you look..."

"The bumper sticker in front of me reads: 'Hello to the loser two cars back!'"

"I still miss my ex but my aim is improving"

" Watch out for the idiot behind me!"

"Adrenalin is my drug of choice."

"Keep honking, I am reloading!"

"Pain is inevitable misery is optional."

"Stupidity is not a crime so you’re free to go"

" I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth!"

"There are 2 types of pedestrians, the quick and the dead."

"So many pedestrians, so little time"

"They didn't let me out, they just gave me a day pass."

"Protection by Smith & Wesson"

"Notice for Hitch-Hikers:
Gas, ass or grass. No one travels for free!"

"Frankly scallop,I don't give a clam"

"Born free...Taxed to death."

"Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs."

"The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette."

"Happiness is seeing your mother-in-law's face on the back of a milk carton."

"Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW."

'Forget the Joneses, I can’t keep up with the Simpsons!'

"Mind Like A Steel Trap - Rusty And Illegal In 37 States"

"He who laughs last thinks slowest."

"Jesus Saves!
By clipping coupons and shopping wisely!"

"Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it."

"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you."

(* My hubby is a now retired part-time cop & has an tee shirt with this saying on it. *)

Honk if you love peace and quiet.

Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.

It works better if you plug it in.

I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

Ambivalent? Well yes and no....

"How am I driving? Ask me if I care..."

"I brake for beer and soft narcotics..."

"I graduated magna cum laude, and all my parents gave me was this lousy piece of crap..."

"I don't brake for stop signs..."

"I found Him...I have Jesus bound and gagged in my trunk..."

I Think Feminists Are Cute!

Keep honking, I am reloading!

Very funny Scotty; now beam down my clothes.

A day without sunshine is like, night.

Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive.

Are you following Jesus this close?

Beer: making woman look better since 1965.

Black holes are where God divided by zero.

Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.


Enjoy life it's not a dress rehearsal.

Pipers Do It With Amazing Grace

Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.

He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool.

i souport publik edekasion

Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.

hAS ANYONE SEEN MY cAPSLOCK KEY?

I'm an optimist, but I don't think it helps.

Insomnia cures snoring

Spell-checkers are hear two stay.

Not quite.. a bumper sticker ... yet.

But..

Had to laugh when I saw this:

"Summer should get a speeding ticket."

written in very small letters.....

If you can read this, than you are a tailgater!!

A few more.....

Hang up and drive!

Not all who wander are lost!

Of course I'm out of my mind, it's dark and scary in there!

Smile and let it go!

I am not too old, your music just sucks!

The police never think it's as funny as you do!

I'm so far behind, I thought I was first.

Don't believe everything you think.

Life is short. So buy the shoes!

Watch out for the idiot behind me

Procrastinate now.

"In the middle of heavy traffic's the only place I can get any sleep..."

"Honk if your engine is running on fumes..."

"My other car is a 1905 Stanley Steamer..."

"If you can read this, you're missing the cute blonde on the sidewalk at the right..."

"Like jokes? 'Cause you're driving one!"

"There are three sides to every argument...Yours, mine, and the investigating officer's..."

"I brake for the idiot behind me..."

If nothing went right....

go left!

I saw this one today, and I'm still laughing;

I like poetry, long walks on the beach and poking dead things with a stick.

Top ten reasons to procrastinate, 1-

Rock is dead! Long live Paper and Scissors!

The older I get the better I was

Give Blood Play Rugby

I had a life but my job ate it

Don’t make me release the flying monkeys!

I refuse to fight a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent

"OK, it's a piece of junk...Are you happy now?"

"Professional Jinx by trade...Now your car is cursed!"

"I'm having a nervous breakdown...Film at 11..."

Well behaved women rarely make history.

I'll keep my guns and ammo you keep the change.

Are the voices in my head bothering you?

We're not paranoid, you only think we are!

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

"I have a multiple personality disorder, and so do I..."

"Beer tester on duty en route to couch..."

"Why don't you watch where I'm going?"

"Proud parent of an honor student that can't find a job either!"

"Nobody told me it required fuel!"

"I'm not lost, but that's only my opinion..."

"Of course it's a hybrid...Part car...Part junk!"

"Runs on mostly alcohol...Oh, you were talking about the CAR?"

"WHO says a driver's license doesn't come from out of a Cracker Jack box?

Stupidity is not a crime so you are free to go

There is no shortcut to anywhere worth going.

"I hate you...Go to Heaven!"

"I pay my taxes...Why do you think I'm driving junk?"

My kid knocked up your Honor Student.

Mary Poppins was a junkie.

I brake for hallucinations.

Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult.

Kids in the backseat cause accidents... accidents in the backseat cause kids.

If it's tourist season, doesn't that mean we can shoot them?

Paddle faster, I hear banjo music!

I would rather go hunting with Dick Cheney, then take a car ride with Ted Kennedy.

I tried being normal once . . .I didn't like it.

life dont suck people do

A Camel is a Horse designed by committee.

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

Cancel my subscription, I don't need your issues.

Five out of four people have problems with fractions.

Government philosophy: If it ain't broke, fix it 'til it is.

If a man speaks in a forest, but no woman is around to hear him, is he still wrong?

If the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.


Life is unsure. Always eat your dessert first.

"The world is flat, and I'm already over the edge..."

"Rediscover Transylvania"

"You really CAN'T cut mustard!"

"Canned laughter, the cure for sanity..."

"Shop 'til you drop your credit score..."

"The Closer You Get
The Slower I'll Drive"

"Honk if you are stupid"

(The sticker that looks like a band-aid and is applied over a dent)

"My other car is a broom"

I like the honk one... I wonder if they also make, "Overtake me and then slow down if you are stupid", "tailgate if you are stupid", "Don't indicate if you are stupid"... etc...

Oh - I TOTALLY want that first one Sam. One of my pet peeves!

Yes. My pet peeve is furry. Why do you ask?

Sorry, I thought it was the 20 questions thread for a moment.

*My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.

*Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.

Mediocrity thrives on standardization.

A closed mouth gathers no feet.

All stressed out and nobody to choke!

The control key on the keyboard does not work.

"Yes, I hear you honking...I'm just having my quiet time..."

"Hit me...myself, and the person in front of me both need the money..."

"I can only go as fast as the road under me moves..."

"Sure, there's a turbo...It's just away on vacation right now..."

Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Hand Basket?

Veni, Vedi, Visa: I Came, I Saw, I Shopped

"If I speed up, I'll miss the bargains in the store windows..."

"Showroom-perfect Junk!"

"My other car is up on blocks..."

"Honk...I love my subwoofer array!"

Cover me. I'm changing lanes..


Jesus is coming, everyone look busy..


I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To.


He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit.


Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.


My karma ran over my dogma.


Is it Too Late to be Good?

Try being as brave in front of me, as you are behind me.

I am not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

"Gas conscious people eat less beans..."

"Hit me...I need an excuse to junk it!"

"No, I don't need an oil change...I wash my hair daily..."

"My odometer reads, 'Scrap It!'"

"I had a new car...Missed three payments...They took it...I cleaned the cobwebs off this old clunker...Happy days again!"

Metaphors be with you

Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.

Maybe a bit much for a bumper sticker:

"A priest from a poor parish drives a used Nissan subcompact because that's all the church budget will allow...

A priest from a well-to-do upscale parish drives a brand new Mercedes because God said he could..."

'Don't follow me, I'm lost'

'He who laughts last thinks slowest'

'Stupidity is not a crime so you’re free to go'

'Back Up My Hard Drive? How Do I Put It In Reverse?'

'Do not play a leap frog with a unicorn.'

'Very Funny, Scotty. Now Beam Up My Clothes.'