Sometimes it seems like people are afraid of conflicts and direct opinions..
Conflicts and open emotions is only a problem for people who cant confront the fact that someone disagree with them and therefore starts to defend themselves instead of listening to whats really been said.
If im contribute to this site with my images i also expect that i have a right to express my reflections and opinions as a totally natural thing. Whats the big deal?

Why take for granted that im out for someones head because i think something can be better, or that i disagree with something, Why make such a big deal of it?
Cant we just separate our proudness and stick to the subject we discuss and see what it can lead to...and if someone is pissed ,so what? It doesnt kill you.

I never join a discussion with the idea that i have to punish someone for their thoughts, i only present my opinion and sometimes i kick on things i think is just Bull and have nothing to do with the subject, But my main intention is always to try to explain my own idea or opinion as clear as i could and if someone say something i agree about i let them know...
So my little advise is...
Dont be afraid of differences, people are not as bad as our government and media tries to make us believe
Happy to hear your opinions about this......
Rock On!

Well said my friend... everyone has the right to say or discuss what they wish, and not everyone will agree with them.. that is part of life.. would be boring if everyone thought the same...

Interesting statement at the end there... I said something like it once, "people are not as dumb as the groups to which they belong." But anyway, that's not my point here.

I wanted to say what I think. It's something we can't do publicly without getting what someone else thinks shoved in our ears. It's in the nature of people, that we're all thinking beings who think we're all on the same level, even though we're obviously not. It's never quite understood what another person means in a discussion unless they know how to write well, and then, that says something else about them as well.

But -- somehow, like you said, people always get emotional and angry and heated when faced with ideas that conflict strongly with their own. Naturally, we are all right, and there is no absolute truth, which is why we have to discuss to get anything done in the first place. We have to find some kind of balance between pissing everybody off and moving forward, and it will never be easy. Perfect Balance is like that -- it takes a whole lot of thinking, intelligence, sympathy. One must think from everyone else's point of view, and ignore his own in a discussion. Only then will you know how to respond, and how to form your response to achieve the greatest balance. Waver on either side of the decision and you'll either be weakened -- not have your say -- or you'll upset part of the group, and move things backwards. So even when you want to simply express your ideas -- think of how they'll be recieved and go from there.

Yet, we think we shouldn't have to *do* that -- that we're entitled to free speech and to have a say and a voice in any discussion we want. And it's true. You can say whatever you want, do whatever you want, act freely... it is your right. But--- it might not be good for you. Especially when dealing with people who care what people think of them, you must think of how they think of you.

Because in any discussion, in any group or society, and above all when you hold a position of leadership, you *are* what people think of you. If they think anything of you, there's a reason for it, if only that you communicate it to them in some way, and you *have* to think on that level. Never be angry with what another says about you, never get too emotional when the occasion doesn't demand emotion. And regardless of what you think about what I'm saying here, don't tell me it doesn't make sense.

In a pond, small rocks make small ripples; large rocks make large ripples. These discussions here are small rocks, but for some people, they make such large waves. Know that, and help them balance by doing so yourself.

Interesting thoughts trisweb! I just want to fill out the idea that we are also what we think about ourselves. Are we lojal to ourselves? Do we stand for our opinions or do we let our dreams slip away because of other peoples disagreement. Unfortunayely there is many people who let other people decide the value of them and do everything they can to make other people like them, even if it go across their own thoughts. The importance of that other people likes you is often a road to problems and honestly i think its a self fixation and a poor perspective on our own life. If people likes me because im an honest person and stands for my opinions then i feel its a more honest way to build a social life on and will keep my integrity intact.

To disagree with someones opinion is not a Bad action, its a honest action based on your own values and life.The mission we have is to realise that there is other realitys out there and that we can learn a lot from other peoples experiences by open our mind for it. The conflict itself is that impact you get when two different realitys stands against each other. For me thats a natural element in life and nothing i think is a problem.
I'm truthful to the opinions i have and i listen to others and when something make sense for me or not making sense for me i let them know. Thats for me the most honest way to deal with people.

I must take objection to this post, I don't think anyone should ever be allowed to disagree with anyone else.

When you have found out HOW u get there ,i will take you on your words... ;-)

How about if one person just decides what everyone else should do, and everyone else agrees to do it? A tough job, but I think I could handle it if the pay was high enough...

Well say instead that YOU had enough money so you could pay other people so they would agree with you, i would say u are closer to a solution....

Well in that case, my first decree would be that everyone returns my money to me...

Ah sarcasm... finally a lighter discussion. :)

And who said you were the one who decides, Sam? I want in.... ... (should I have said that? how much do I owe you?)

Disagreeing -- never cared about that

It's only when it gets emotional that I back off. It clouds logic, and the discussion becomes a pointless and close minded quarrel. Seems to happen quite a lot in a few of these discussions..

Tommy - your opening statement in this thread is a very valid description of what a forum based discussion should be and I completely agree with what you said here. Unfortunately, it never seams to pan out like that. Whenever the faintest possibility of something juicy & controversial crops up in a DB it usually starts well but then races into nothing more than a bitch slapping fight where the highest level of debate is 'your crap and I’m always right etc etc.'

It’s almost like a set pattern and you can see it coming a mile off. Usually one main protagonist who takes umbrage at something trivial and uses it as a platform to launch a zealous tirade of the afore mentioned I’m right nonsense. So instead you end up with a self destructive loop where you could envisage people hovering over their enter key, desperate to get the last word whilst providing troll like fuel to stoke the fire.

I love open debate and the freedom to express it - just wish there was more of it and people, at the very least, tried to remain objective and adult about it. And before anyone jumps on me – this is not meant as an indictment of any one person but is just a reflection of previous/current discussions that have ended up this way – usually political or religious threads.

I completely agree with the above statements. It actually frustrates me when a potentially interesting subject turns into a meaningless showing off of egos. I think the Caedes community needs to learn from these past threads and try to keep your emotions away from the discussion boards when it is obviously not called for.

Well Spoken Phil!

Agree with your post, Tommy.

Thing is...everyone posting on this board is very direct. So I guess we would all agree. Now we need someone to come along and disagree.

shoot me. now.

:-)

To deal with other peoples opinions is to deal with other peoples reality..
The big question is HOW we deal with other peoples opinions..Of course people have different opinions, but unfortunately it seems sometimes that we have a low tolerance for opinions that is different than ours...Is it the Wish to be Right that is the Barrier?
And what is to be right? Winning? Learning?
Any ideas guys?

It’s a problem that can never be resolved as its just human nature I feel. There will always be people who insist on forcing their own opinion, right or wrong, on others whilst belittling their opponent’s beliefs. Even in the face of indisputable facts you will get people who beg to differ - its the old what I say is black, you say is white scenario. I remember a while back I posted a thread on the dev site suggesting that mods had the ability to temporarily lock threads in order to allowing for a cooling off period in particularly heated discussions but I’m not sure even that would be effective other than to delay the spiral of repetitiveness.

Unfortunately, some people are excedingly unpleasant, and dealing with their opinions isn't the problem. It's the flaws in their personalities that make if hard to deal with them.

So play with them, I say. :) Be smarter than all this crap and use it to your advantage to get what you want. Or at least a little laugh. I mean, please, all this has been discussed ad infinitum before on usenet and countless other discussion boards. I think we all understand that we all have different opinions, different concepts of truth itself, it's human nature, certain people are more sensitive to certain opinions than others, and people become emotional about it. Great. Deal with it.

God, I'm trying to think of a sentence that will stop everyone straight in their tracks and force them NOT to reply. Besides, I'm going on vacation and have to have a last word.

Ah! Got it.

Goodwin's Law

Someone do it... come on.. you know you want to.... reg's post is a perfect candidate for comparison.... (eg: "Nazi's are exceedingly unpleasant too, and no one had to deal with their opinions for long", or, "What's the point where we draw the line and start comparing people to Hitler and the Nazis?", or, "Nazis suck, do we disagree about that too?", et cetera).

Sorry.... off to the mountains with me (literally).

Continued Here:
http://www.caedes.net/Zephir.cgi?lib=Board::Topic&id=438753

*snicker*

So we are talking about a limitation in the peoples nature here? So how has the Homo Sapiens done before when they have stand infront of a massive barrier?
Dealing with peoples emotion is not a mystery, it can be done if we just know how.
Make them right and they will take a less conservative viewpoint..From that point u can then go step by step by finding something you agree about ( Their name for example)...And after a while you will be able to discuss in a constructive way even if it doesnt mean that u agree about everything, but the atmosphere will be much better.
I have done it before and i will do it again. Knowledge is what brings people forward and in control, not Defaitism and created mysteries...Homo Sapiens has reach a quite good standard technical ,but GOD how poor you are when it comes to social behaviours and a knowledge about the human mind....

must have been hard back then Tommy :)

I agree with certain things you said, but I believe we are actually Homo Sapien Sapiens, higher in evolution than just Homo Sapiens. And I for one believe that we as modern humans have the mental capacity to control our emotions and have adult conversations.

For Example: I admit that I did get emotional in other discussions and really did not add anything useful to the subject at hand and do regret that.

That being said, I hope others can see their own errors if they made any :)

You have a good ability to take responsibility for your actions, I like that!
You can look at yourself and see when u do something wrong.
That is a very important ability if you think about who really should control your life..
When u lose the ability to see the difference between actions that will be destructive for you and others from actions that is constructive for yourself and others, well, then you are in danger man!! So take care of it and dont think u lose something to admit your wrongs..In my opinion its just a way to keep you mentally sober!
My respect for that!

HEAR, HEAR............or is it HERE, HERE. I assume it's the first one:)

Well said Tommy... =D

Ben, the correct term is, "hear, hear!" It is a contraction for "hear, all ye good people, hear what this brilliant and eloquent speaker has to say!"

wow I never knew that lol

Either do I....