My wife Kim always emails me jokes that she recieves in her email. She is kimcande on the caedes site. So I thought I would post one of them under this topic. I thought it would be a great start for a funny topic about dumb things that people do.


Just in case you thought you've done some dumb things.



1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP? AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.

2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS: Police in Oakland, CA spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, "Please come out and give yourself up."


3. WHAT WAS PLAN B??? An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.

4. THE GETAWAY! A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop ! and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

5. DID I SAY THAT??? Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: "Give me all your money or I'll shoot", the man shouted, "that's not what I said!".

6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??? A man spoke frantically into the phone:
"My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart". "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted, "This is her husband!"

7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED! In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun... Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellooooooo)!

8. THE GRAND FINALE!!! Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 foot boat, going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power they applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone there may be able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside
check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.

NOW REMEMBER...THIS IS TRUE.

Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer!

One of my own.This was actually on the TV show cops and happened in the town I grew up in.
Their is a restaurant in My home town called Archuro's it's a great little Mexican food restaurant.

A guy Broke into the restaurant by coming down the restaurant kitchen exhaust system.
He couldn't get any money out of the safe.
He then tried to exit the same way he came in.
He couldn't exit the same way, so he tried to break the window and didn't succeed.
So what did he do ? He called the police to let him out.
Later he tried yo sue the restaurant for his arrest and incarceration.

LOL

Which just goes to prove - People are stupid!!!!!

I have one I saw on TV

A man was running away from some cops who had sniffer dogs. As the police gave chase they found the man's discarded items of clothing when they finally caught the man he said he'd taken his clothes off so the dogs WOULDN'T be able to smell him.

I've got quite a few stupid criminal stories. All these are real incidents that happened to local police officers.

During a blackout two criminals broke into a shop. Patrolling police saw the disturbance and went to investigate. They were astonished when they came to the broken window, and a voice from inside shouted, "Go away... we were here first!"

A thief broke into a liquor store by lifting one of the ceiling panels, then dropping to the floor. He proceeded to start filling his bags with bottles of alcohol, but when time came to leave, he realized his mistake. He couldn't get out the same way from the inside. The roof was too high to reach without the aid of a ladder. Seeing as he would be arrested in any case, he got drunk and waited for the police to arrive.

On another occasion the criminals were leisurely busy placing the loot out the window, and were quite surprised when they handed some of the items straight into the hands of a police officer, and found themselves handcuffed. The officer noticed the activity and sneaked up on them, without being noticed.

While running away from the police, one culprit chose the wrong yard to hide in. He jumped over a fence, straight into the yard of one of the pursuing officers. The officer then proceeded to fetch his two large dogs, urging them to find the intruder. On hearing the dogs the culprit fouled his pants. He was soon discovered by the smell, and arrested (all the while thanking the police officer for keeping the dogs from biting him!)

The Darwin Awards are usually a good source of people's stupidity.

Take this one for example: "Two teens were disassembling an electric tower with wrenches when it toppled to the ground. They apparently wanted to sell its aluminum supports for scrap, but they failed to realize the essential role the aptly named "support" plays in a 160-foot tower. One of the men was crushed by the collapse of the ten-thousand-pound tower, while the other dug himself out from under."

This has got to be the dumbest! REAL STORY:

Kimberley, South Africa - Police arrested 20 wanted criminals in the Northern Cape at a surprise party held by police, said an official on Wednesday.

Superintendent Mashay Gamieldien of police said the main purpose of the operation - Operation Nice Surprise - was to invite all wanted persons to a party and arrest them.

"Some 194 invitations were posted to the most wanted people in the province, whom were blacklisted for serious crimes or linked with finger prints to such crimes, to attend the staged party presented by Nice Surprise Enterprises.

"They had to confirm their attendance."

On Tuesday night, a local Kimberley DJ entertained the suspects, while lucky draws were also held during which the attendees received prizes.

Gamieldien said: "Police entered the hall and arrested all the suspects."

She said the deputy-area commissioner of police in the Diamond Fields area, director Pieter Myburgh, initiated the operation.

Most of these suspects' addresses were known, but managed to escape detention every time police visited their homes.

Gamieldien said a total of 36 wanted suspects, of whom 20 were at the party, were arrested.

Police said they were wanted in connection with crimes ranging from assault, rape, burglaries, shoplifting, theft and fraud.

When I was younger, I used think serial killers were ppl who put poison in cereal to kill little kids!

MMMMMM uhhuh! LOL.

Don't be hating...

I'm not I think it was cute.

I didn't mean you were hating me, and ok you think it was cute... that just confused me!

Ok lets start over.

MMMMMM uhhuh! LOL.

Hilarious! That better?

Hehe LOL

I guess it is! I made massive on the karma and I'm happy about it, I feel like i accomplished something on Caedes, dumb is me:)

Its ok to say dumb as me. we all have our moments of fame. LOL.

I guess we all do. I have them everyday though.

A pen was developed by a certain space agency to work in zero gravity. After about $1000.000 and completion of said project they realised another space agency were using pencils & sharpeners ???? This pen can now be bought on th open market. Galactic miss use of money.

LOL this is true, that was what nasa spent on the pen.

just goes to show how our wonderful taxes are being put to use. . .good to know huh

Well the don't foget that Nasa and the fed's also spent $5.000 0n a hammer and $25.000 on a toilet set also.

stop. . .before i burst into tears

I used to think i was retarted because I thought I was seeing 6 backwards when i saw 9 :(

well, thats not bad. . .

Yes it is! I'm smart now though! I used to be on the Honor Roll but then well, I got lazy and hung out too much:(

Ah a modern teen.

Here we go. Back when the Romans were around, they let a massive wooden horse into their fort whilst @ war. What happens next?

They were murdered! And to Prismmagic, I will get Honor Roll and not fall this year!

Good for you. You should always do your best. It does pay off in the end.

Yea but its boring, I don't even read the books, I just ask someone and I passed my final with a 95, can't I just do that until the end?

A test is only part of the job. How would you like it if an engineer designed a bridge and didn稚 know the math he needed for the stress loads, and you where on it the day it collapsed.

Or if the doctor who was going to do an emergency procedure on you after a car accident and didn稚 no the procedure and winged it. Then you ended up brain dead or paralyzed.

So how dumb is dumb then?

Yea thats true but the books they make us read are boring!

Learn Q. then you can get through the books in half the time and absorb twice as much.

Is that like skimming?

I agree questions are very relevant however considering we humans only use 14% of our brain with every single thought lets see if there is anything we can do.

XYZ Have a look @ some introductory NLP literature. You can train different parts of your brain to be activated when doings tasks that dont relate. Such as and bare with me here, Say you are experiencing a problem of some nature and you remember how hot it was or was there a certain smell indicitive of the moment, it could be as simple as a taste. If you ever encounter an occasion similar to this in the future instead of remembering how upset you were etc if thats the case, go back in your mind and remember the smell / taste / feeling as it will automatically bring back how you resolved the problem (brain mapping), like Hanible creating his brain library. Higher level purveyors of NLP encourage reactions they want in others think of the possibilities? Manipulation of psyche.

Dumb is not using our time to continously improve ourselves in whatever way possible.
Dumb is me not going to a gym after dislocating my left patela 5 times in 4 years and walking like a policeman as a consequence. (feet @ 10 & 2).

Hey I think I did that before, remembering how something tasted and you really taste it?

Correct now try to use that process of recolection to perform another task aswell, like............. getting somebody to go to get you some food from wherever. Next time you think your tasting something you will also recall making somebody go to get some food. This taken further think about it if you could relate all things / situations / resolutions to your memory at the same time as living in the moment pretty cool.

wow an intelligent thread, this has got to be a caedes record! Its even better if you think how ironic the name is.

I just did a dumb thing... my son was on the computer.. told him to get off.. as i sat down to use it the screen went black... after ranting and raving to son about what has he done to it for about 15 mins... me getting frustrated trying to figure out what was wrong with it......
I ummmm had knocked the plug out of the wall...

I've done that, even for the wire for the internet and I've tried to fix the internet for hours not noticing the ethernet wire was off :(

good to see im not the only "dummy".. hehehe

I'm probably the dumbest on the site, I've done so many dumb things lately...I once set the alarm for the present time and the present time as the alarm...I was late for school by two hours...detention for a week :(

wow, thats harsh. . .and no i am just not admitting all the stupid stuff i've done:
Example: Put the cereal in the fridge and the milk in the pantry

I do that all the time! Once I left it over night and woke up to a very bad smell, I blamed my brother and he got in trouble.....

lol well, at least you can do that. . .

Another dumb thing....I thought school lunch might've gotten better...........I was really wrong....