In this life, I'm a woman. In my next life, I'd like to come back as a bear.When you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but
sleep for six months. I could deal with that.
Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that, too.
When you're a girl bear, you birth your children, ( who are the size of walnuts ) while you're sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute,
cuddly cubs. I could definitley deal with that.
If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat
anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could deal with that.
If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.
Yup, gonna be a bear !

You notice KEIFER deserted you a LOOONG time ago...

they are staying away because they know we are RIGHT.. lol

Right On Sister !!

* punches fist in air in show of solidarity *

:(

Have an Adamantiun skeleton like Wolverine and go ice climbing, in fact any sort of climbing. Shamone.

I'd be a Carcharodon Carcharias - could just glide around the oceans with impunity and if the mood takes me - be able to take a bite out of any surfers for the gratuitous use of both the words 'woe' and 'dude' or any combination thereof.

The fact that men use 15000 words a day to a woman's 30000 proves nothing, since grunts weren't counted. Hmph. Oog. Er. EH ;-)

or men are just more economical and dont feel the need to embelish every sentence with surplus crap or drama :-)

I would just like to clarify a post that was way back. The whole idea of guys not being around with out women is acctually incorrect. You see it is accutally the other way. It was men that came first, and then women were created using a mans rib. So therefore if it wasn't for man women wouldn't be around. Then of course we get the whole problem of women being the ones that carry children. That is acctually due to the punshment for being the ones to initally sin. You could conclude then that there was another way for men to continue on with out women having birth. Now im not sure if i should be posting this or not, because it could now take this thread in a completly different direction.

*ponders being like Wolverine, having the adamantium would be a bonus to the incredible healing powers*

Damn!!! I should come back as a male.. I can live a dreamworld, dont have to think, know that I'm always right no matter what, have someone cook, clean, have kids, no "women probs".. what a life!!!

*ponders....lives in dreamworld, has to think too much, isn't always right, can cook, can clean, can't do kids...don't know about no 'women probs' though... :))*

Besides Milo, your absolutely right. Man DID come first, then woman. The imperfect, working model, then when all the kinks were worked out...woman

finally some guys hav joined in....

*ponders the other kinks*

* ponders deceit and betrayal as 'working out the kinks' *

* ponders, sadly, why men had to take a light hearted thread & get it so out of whack *

A metaphor for life, perhaps ?

*grins* :)

...? What the frell?

Phil responded pefectly to the pefrected model comment.

out of whack? checks bible for clarification - if you want to play ball you have to take the catches as well as the pitching :-)

hehehehe.. the battle of the sexes... lol you know its a proven fact you should never argue with a woman.. you never win.. lol

we'll see...

:-)

anyway - back on topic, next......

lmao

lol

......... :(

Men *uck up on their own. Dont be looking for someone to nail it on. Take responsibility for yourself and your own reactions. Perhaps because we dont understand each other that is what makes it more fun. The journey of discovery. Its also what makes therapists make money n couples counseling.

For the gals...
I just want to expound a wee bit on the "bible thumper" comment made earlier... I read that Western religion used to be much more focused on women (prime example: the virgin Mary), and it was only in the past... 500? 1500? years that males have been dominating the religion, apparantly because they felt "threatened" (prime example of domination: no female priests, demonization of woman by church).

AND

For the guys...
Here's a saying that i'm finding to be more and more true...
"Men forgive but don't forget, women forget but don't forgive" (think of the last time your spouse, girlfriend, mother, etc. became miffed because of something you apparently did. Now bring it up again a year later. You'll get the saying soon enough...)

lmao true.

Maria has just e-bowed to her master every1...just thought u'd all kno:-D

Mm. . .. . sure Andrew. . . .it was sarcasm, but w/e. PPP

I"M NOT PPP!!!!

in my next life i want to be a pantheist

Diddo.

A panthesist = somebody who likes pants? ... or a pantheist

Can't fault a person for liking pants .. but I'm not gonna let them babysit my kids

kids: like the above. ;-)

Why can't you be a pantheist in this life ?

Because i don't believe that God and my table are the same.

Well, if the virgin Mary can minifest herself on a toasted cheese sandwich, why can't god be a table??

Didn't that piece of toast sell on ebay for like 47000.00.

Well, then, you bought the wrong table

lmao

This has to be the silliest thread I have read yet..

Did you read the whole thing ? It was better

Really ? There hasn't been a sillier thread ? I think I'm complimented, sort of....in a sick Monty Python sort of way....

I read the whole thing.. Been keeping up on it.. It is silly.. Fun sillly..

But ... (*taps Lauren on the shoulder*) ... you really SHOULD clean up the line breaks in your original post ... smells of email-o-rocis left out in the sun

and .. NO .. you can't point out MY typing skills ... sentence structure was different when I went to school

Hmmmm..

*salaams deeply to keifer*

From your lips to God's ears.....to my hands....

gimme a sec, I'm busy harassing other people on other sites.....

"Kay ?!

*moshpits*

(*Bear in mind, that bit about being a woman .. purely poetic license in this post*)


`·.¸¸.·´´¯`··._.·`·.¸¸.·´´¯`··._.·`·.¸¸.·´´¯`··._.·`·.¸¸.·´´¯`··._.·

In this life, I'm a woman. In my next life, I'd like to come back as a bear. When you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months.

I could deal with that.

Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid.

I could deal with that, too.

When you're a girl bear, you birth your children, ( who are the size of walnuts ) while you're sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute, cuddly cubs.

I could definitley deal with that.

If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too.

I could deal with that.

If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.

Yup, gonna be a bear !

`·.¸¸.·´´¯`··._.·`·.¸¸.·´´¯`··._.·`·.¸¸.·´´¯`··._.·`·.¸¸.·´´¯`··._.·



(*it's all about pacing and timing .. you gotta get a feel for your audience*)

You must grab that block of Email text and make it your own

( * slams door * )
( * opens door * )
I HATE YOU !
( * slams door *)

LOL .. in my next life I shall be feudal lord ... the vassals are already restless

You'd better employ a food taster.....I forsee a nasty end in sight....

Hmm.....would Lauren like to be a guy in her next life? Maybe she has finally come to realize the many flaws women have...*runs*

I will loan you my nephew as a taster, Keifer.. He is just about worthless for anything else..

One word for you Andrew.....

ARF

No woman wants to be a man.. Yuck!!!!

Tee hee hee. . . . :)

well apart from all the Female To Male Transgendered people of course...

They weren't truly female to begin with.. Got born in the wrong kind of body..

thats just semantics - I wanted to be born into Jean-Claude Van Damme's body but that didn't happen either :-)

Well, I got the wrong one, too... I was supposed to be a persian cat..

Well, I was supposed be 6 inches taller & an Italian Super Model....I know, I've got the contract somewhere....

hahaha.. me too.. we must have had the same contract... lol

hehehe isnt it amazing how one word can make a difference.. LOL.. (*you do know what I'm talking about dont you?)

Oh yes..

LOL

(*scratches head*) .. um .. no

(*blows whistle*) .. alright .. everybody outta the pool

That nose is making you silly.. Persian cats never go in pools.. We don't like getting all that fur wet.. Takes to long to dry off..

geez... flasher where u been.. you dont know what im talking about...? (guess thats normal.. LOL) .... come 'ere i'll whisper it..

I would like to be an Ambassador for world piece. Whats that NiK crack the whip, I most certainly will.

*whip crack just misses ear*

Hey, watch it!!

lol sorry.

Ok, call me shallow, but ...

... can I be the b/f of the Italian Super Model? Beautiful lines and curves, oh my ... and that is just the Ferrari that comes with ;) .

For your birthday Les !

I remember this thread! EVIL

"women problems" lol just bring more problems *walks away*

Thanks Lauren ... but the insecurities are coming back.

She just handed me a can of "Raid" and went off to a photo shoot, taking the Ferrari and leaving me with the Hummer. You ever try to park one of those things?? :o(

Not parrallel park ...no LOL

In my next life... I want to be an Ascended Being. :o)

In my next life, I wanna be ANDREW...so I can be surrounded by brilliant women all the time like he is....{ :)

roflmaoooo

You know, to find this thread all I typed in was " Arf" ..... Hilarious

Hiya Andrew ! This thread's for you ! ;o)

LMAO xD I can't believe this thread isn't gone yet!

I'm sure it was buried back on page 48, but Andrew reminded me of it with his ARF comment ... I just HAD to look / dredge it up. ;oP

LOL! That dog =p too bad he's so sexist =p he would have made a great lady! maybe Andrew can be the bride :)

*hands Andrew some Midol… telling him they're a new gel caplet of his fave cough medicine* 8•P

LOL i loved this thread xD
no midol :|

i would not want to come back as a women cause of the midol reasons :) and the other ones >_> and hot flashes and all the things all the women in my fam go through xD

Yeah..I guess your right, your not as strong as we are to endure all of that pain :)

So true .... I don't know about any other guy ( Though I have my suspicions ) but I know of one who who whines like mad whenever he has a cold

Really? And who might that be? I wonder. lol

i hav a cold :)
and i'm not whinin :)
/me takes more than he needs of cold medicine

*feels holy*

*snickers watching Andrew down more Midol*

poor sucker doesn't know I replaced his entire stash of cold medicine 8•P

ur going to kill me! >_>

...mmm cough drops...

No she's not, but I bet you don't have cramps for a while !

:|

LMAO :D I love you Lauren!

is high on midol :}