Hey. ...could you all read these lyrics to a song I'm currently writing and suggest any titles for it. ..right now I'm calling it "Tell Me" ..but I really don't like taht title. Thanks. Well here's the lyrics:
*edit* (okay, I just like completely revised this, and added a whole lot, so you might want to reread it)
So if I said
That I laid her head
On my shoulder.
Would that make me a man?
So if I said,
That I cleaned his feet
With my sweat.
Would that make me a disciple?
So if I said
That I was gay
and were different
Would that make me less of a man?
Or Queer?
Something to Fear?
The Truth is not near.
Look into the Mirror.
What do you see?
It's not me.
So if I said
I kissed her
On her lips
Would that make me more?
Perhaps Give me a Better Score
Make me less of a bore, Hardcore.
So if I said
I betrayed him
With a kiss,
Would that make me amiss?
Or blessed?
Or less
Of a mess
Maybe then he woud sanctify
the alibi
Until
The truth might spill
So if I pick up the Cross
Nail my flesh to the board for you
Would that be my loss?
And if I take my pills
That kill the pain
Would that make me the same?
So if I give in to temptation
Take the holy city
Will I recieve no pity?
And if I take the pain
Put down my cane
Would that make me the lame?
Or strange?
Or different?
Or the same
So if I told you
That I worshiped a god
That was not God
Would that make me less?
So if I told you
that I worshiped Budha
and not God
Would that make me less?
Of a Man?
Of the same?
Of a person?
Of a believer?
So if I lead a holocast
And fought against redemption
Would I deserve death?
And if I'm acused of raping a little tike
And I'm of the minority
Should I go down without a fight?
Without a trival?
As you rape me of my rights?
With all your might
It isn't right.
And If I called God Budha
Or Allah
Would I not be saved?
So if I wore a "towel" over my head
Or a Kippah
I Would not be saved?
So if I said.
That Jesus never was.
Would I be behead?
Or if I said
That Jesus never died.
Would I be cruxifed?
And if I worshiped the sun
And gave praise to the moon
Would I burn in Hell?
Or just dispell?
If I asked you to cleanse the blood from my hands
Would you wash away my sins?
If I asked you to undo all the deaths
Would my will be done?
And If I never drank the Blood
Of your only Son
Would I be undone.
Wipe away the sins
Of the men
Wash away the blood
Of your kin
Wipe away the sweat
From your skin
I can't see you through this glass
I can't see you in this mass.
Wipe the blood from the Mirror
It will become much clearer
Who you are.
And what I am.
The reflections of my soul
That you stole
Become clearer
Time to throw away the Mirror.
Time to see who you are.
And So if I said to God
Take me
Heal me
Feel me
Love me
Hear me
I'm beginning to see you
But did not take the bread.
Would I not be saved?
What if I believe
In Peace and Love
And that there is a presence
That guides us. And hears us. And loves us.
Would I be healed?
And if I pissed on the garden of Eden
And ate some fruit
Would you damn a whole race of people?
But what if I followed your everyword.
And I praised you one day each week.
What happens to the rest of people?
What happens to the people whom call you Allah
Will they rot? And Die?
The Mirror, or maybe Soul's Reflection ....I can even see the video, a man singing to a full length mirror with an ornate frame, & the lyrics being acted out in front of our eyes in the mirror. In fact, the more I think about it, the more I like Soul's Reflection.
That's my 2 cents ...
Lauren
BTW, I love your lyrics, quite memorable & thought provoking....
I like "The Mirror" ..but there's a Dream Theater song called that. Soul's Reclection is cool, too. and I like your forsight of the video :)
Yeah, the music in it is acoustic guitar and bass tuned a whole step down. Then three electric guitars kick in right after "And if I worshiped the sun
And gave praise to the moon
Would I burn in Hell?
Or just dispell?"
for a solo section.
..it's coming along quite nicely.
Anyway, thanks for the suggestions, I'll consider them.
"Pity? It was pity that stayed Bilbo's hand. Many that live deserve death. Some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them, Frodo? Do not be too eager to deal out death in judgment. Even the very wise cannot see all ends. My heart tells me that Gollum has some part to play yet, for good or ill before this is over. The pity of Bilbo may rule the fate of many."- "I wish the Ring had never come to me.
I wish none of this had happened..." "So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us."-Gandalf
yeah, of course I thought about the ..."What if", "So, If I", and I also thought about calling it "Question" and titles to those effects. But they just seem so ..basic. I want more ...title describing the overall feel of the song (like how titles of books do), rather than a line from it(i.e. a pop song). Thanks for those suggestions but there not really what I'm looking for :)
But for "The Question" ..I like that, but just "the question" is too genaric.. if I could think of another way of saying that. like ...I don't know.
Well, I'm still voting for my Soul's Reflection ....BUT, he also sounds like he's searching for something, how about a title with "Quest " in it ? Or Searching for myself ? Or Quest for the man ? Too much ? I guess so, sorry. Think more Lauren !!
Edit - Soul's Journey, it's brief & memorable & better yet, tells the tale
What's in a Word.... hm... I like it, but I don't understand it. Maybe I'm braindead for the moment.
I was thinking The <insert adjective here> Mirror ...maybe ..the bloody mirror, or bloodstained.
I think I'm leaning toward the Mirror with an adjective before 'mirror'. ...if I made it the, something to do with blood, mirror, I'd probably add another stanza taht would make the word "blood" appropreite in the title.
hm...
The Crimson Mirror ? I was gonna say Scarlet Mirror, but no....What about "gore " ? Or what about "fiery" ? Or even using " Fiendish ? You've already brought up religion ...
Awesome, & I am sincerely flattered you were able to weave my small suggestions into your revised edition so skillfully, I can't believe you're so young, Sean ! You're so talented, a true gift !
"Pity? It was pity that stayed Bilbo's hand. Many that live deserve death. Some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them, Frodo? Do not be too eager to deal out death in judgment. Even the very wise cannot see all ends. My heart tells me that Gollum has some part to play yet, for good or ill before this is over. The pity of Bilbo may rule the fate of many."- "I wish the Ring had never come to me.
I wish none of this had happened..." "So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us."-Gandalf
I thought about "The One Question" actually.. but I don't think I'm going to go with that.
And lauren, I should be thanking you for giving that good suggestions of making the Mirror more of the focus. (you sort of indirectly gave taht advice to me:) ) And Thank you for the nice compliments.
*edit* (okay, I just like completely revised this, and added a whole lot, so you might want to reread it)
So if I said
That I laid her head
On my shoulder.
Would that make me a man?
So if I said,
That I cleaned his feet
With my sweat.
Would that make me a disciple?
So if I said
That I was gay
and were different
Would that make me less of a man?
Or Queer?
Something to Fear?
The Truth is not near.
Look into the Mirror.
What do you see?
It's not me.
So if I said
I kissed her
On her lips
Would that make me more?
Perhaps Give me a Better Score
Make me less of a bore, Hardcore.
So if I said
I betrayed him
With a kiss,
Would that make me amiss?
Or blessed?
Or less
Of a mess
Maybe then he woud sanctify
the alibi
Until
The truth might spill
So if I pick up the Cross
Nail my flesh to the board for you
Would that be my loss?
And if I take my pills
That kill the pain
Would that make me the same?
So if I give in to temptation
Take the holy city
Will I recieve no pity?
And if I take the pain
Put down my cane
Would that make me the lame?
Or strange?
Or different?
Or the same
So if I told you
That I worshiped a god
That was not God
Would that make me less?
So if I told you
that I worshiped Budha
and not God
Would that make me less?
Of a Man?
Of the same?
Of a person?
Of a believer?
So if I lead a holocast
And fought against redemption
Would I deserve death?
And if I'm acused of raping a little tike
And I'm of the minority
Should I go down without a fight?
Without a trival?
As you rape me of my rights?
With all your might
It isn't right.
And If I called God Budha
Or Allah
Would I not be saved?
So if I wore a "towel" over my head
Or a Kippah
I Would not be saved?
So if I said.
That Jesus never was.
Would I be behead?
Or if I said
That Jesus never died.
Would I be cruxifed?
And if I worshiped the sun
And gave praise to the moon
Would I burn in Hell?
Or just dispell?
If I asked you to cleanse the blood from my hands
Would you wash away my sins?
If I asked you to undo all the deaths
Would my will be done?
And If I never drank the Blood
Of your only Son
Would I be undone.
Wipe away the sins
Of the men
Wash away the blood
Of your kin
Wipe away the sweat
From your skin
I can't see you through this glass
I can't see you in this mass.
Wipe the blood from the Mirror
It will become much clearer
Who you are.
And what I am.
The reflections of my soul
That you stole
Become clearer
Time to throw away the Mirror.
Time to see who you are.
And So if I said to God
Take me
Heal me
Feel me
Love me
Hear me
I'm beginning to see you
But did not take the bread.
Would I not be saved?
What if I believe
In Peace and Love
And that there is a presence
That guides us. And hears us. And loves us.
Would I be healed?
And if I pissed on the garden of Eden
And ate some fruit
Would you damn a whole race of people?
But what if I followed your everyword.
And I praised you one day each week.
What happens to the rest of people?
What happens to the people whom call you Allah
Will they rot? And Die?
Or are you who I think you are?
Thanks.