Hey Lauren!!..=PPPPPPP

Q. What are the spots on black and white cows?
A. Holstains

Q. What kind of milk comes from a forgetful cow?
A. Milk of Amnesia

Why did the cow cross the road?
It saw me firing up the BBQ and wanted to be my DINNER.

Ok so for that tri-tip recipe...
Get a 2-3 pound tri tip, rub in Pappy's seasonings (all over it, give that baby a good massage), drizzle olive oil on it, add a sprinkle of salt, then wrap tightly in 2 layers of foil. On a very hot grill with low flame, cook that baby for 2-3 hours depending on size. Remove from BBQ and let sit for 20 minutes. Carefully unwrap it then slice it. This can be served as a roast, or on a roll with your favorite BBQ sauce (makes a yummy sandwich).

Chicken walks into a bar... looking around, he notices that there are nothing but cows in this place... then it hits him.... He's in a Hay Bar

Hey Larry, didja forget I said the Milk of Amnesia joke first ? <G>

Q. Why does a milking stool have only 3 legs ?
A. Cuz the cow has the udder

D'ooohhh!!! I musta missed that one!..=P
Here's one...

There were these two cows, chatting over the fence between their fields. The first cow said, "I tell you, this mad-cow-disease is really pretty scary. They say it is spreading fast; I heard it hit some cows down on the Johnson Farm." The other cow replies, "Hell, I ain't worried, it don't affect us ducks."

Or this one...

There was a herd of cattle all standing on a hill when an earthquake struck. All of the cows fell down, but the bull remained standing. The farmer noticing this went out and asked the bull, "Why didn't you fall down like the rest of the herd. The bull replied, "We bulls wobble, but we don't fall down."

ROFLMAO !!! I love it !! That's great !! I'm still laughing !!

My kids had weebles, I remember that jingle so well ... <G>

Okay, one more...=P

A lady came up to me on the street and pointed to my suede jacket. "You know a cow was murdered for that jacket?" she sneered. I replied in a psychotic tone, "I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too."

....................

Larry! You've offended this "Moolius Ceasar" person!

Yeah!! Muwahahahaha!!...oops, my bad!!..=P

LMAO

Bad To The Bone !

Yep, the T-Bone that is!! Dang, that reminds me! I'm out of A-1!!..=(

Okay, this one's cute not cheesy....sorry if I let the side down

Q. What do you call a cow that wears a crown ?
A. Dairy Queen !

Quick, someone grab the cheese

Moolius.. come join the party... its a blast in here.:o)

Q: What do you get from a pampered cow?
A: Spoiled Milk

Q: Why don't cows ever have any money?
A: Cuz the farmers are milking them dry

Q. Why do milking stools only have 3 legs ?
A. Cuz the cow has the udder

nyuk nyuk nyuk

To utter.. or not to utter... that is the question to which we are faced...

Would you utter to utter the word?

So how much can this word... Utter.. be milked?

I don't know Curt, I'm udderly befuddled .....

Q. What do you get when you cross a rooster with a cow ?
A. Cock -a -doodle -moo !

lol...that one made me laugh

Q. Did you hear that NASA recently launched a bunch of Holsteins into low Earth orbit?

A. They called it the Herd Shot 'Round The World!

nyuk nyuk nyuk !!!

nyuk nyuk nyuk... that the sound of rythmically milked uders? :oP

yea what is that nyuk thing?

Didn't you guys ever watch The Three Stooges ? That was how Curly ( Larry's avatar ) laughed ...

o, yea i don't remember, i've seen the show...just don't remember the laugh :D

me, I was just being an idiot, and going with the cow thing..:oP

you're udderly funny Curt

Hey I got one!

What do you get from a forgetful cow...???

;-)

*puts on innocent face* what?

Q: What do u get with cross a cow w/a duck?
A: Milk & QUACKERS

Q. Why do cows wear bells ?
A. Because their horns don't work

Here's one for ya!..=P

Q. What goes ooo! oooo! ooooo!
A. A cow with no lips.

LOL...thought it was a fire siren at first !

Hey Larry, do ya think Sam forgot we already did his joke.........twice ?

maybe he did it on purpse...he did leave that winkin face ";-)"

*scratches head* I don't remember that...

We did? Oh silly me! Sorry about that Sam!..=P

its up 6 from your post

Ohhhh I get it now......

I thought the winking face meant he forgot the answer to his joke

Happens to me all the time

LMAO @ Lauren!!..=PPPPP

lol i just put idk..or idk the meaning of the word :'( cause its usually true!

This thread confuses me.

cause its about cows vs chikins and then it went into jokes :D

Yeah, that and...it was pointless to even start....I don't understand why, I guess it's just a way to torture this cow, he asked for it when he started this thread, obviously he didn't learn when everyone teased him on the other one.....maybe he just wanted to get teased some more? Idk...but why would someone want to be teased? Oh well.....one of the world's biggest mysteries......Moolious.

you're entire post in confusing maria! :'( i'm confused now :'(

You seem to confuse easily Andrew :) What I meant was, it was pointless for Moolious to start this thread.....he made another thread before, I forget what it was about and everyone teased him...now their doing the same on this one....he asked for it.

maybe that's why he did it

Exactly my point.

then why ask?

He/she/it has mad cow disease...he/she/it likes the abuse...hence this new and completely stupid thread.

I was trying to get you to understand what I was saying....this thread is pointless.

o but its funny...like what akashastrega said

I think this Moolicious is just some pathetic cow who craves attention.....even negative

Tho the jokes are a blast

they are! or maybe! moolicious is one of those PR ppl...if PR is one of those advertising people...

Yes, I think he works for the BAC (Bovine Advertising Cow-ncil).

That was udderly funny Sam .....

mooo~re please !

It's been and udder cowtastrophe for Moolius.

*goes to check the standing rib roast recipe*

that rib roast.. is that apart of some new health craze? kind of like the holistic movement, except it call the Holstine Diet?

LOL @ Curt

New one !

Q. What do cows wear in Hawaii?
A. Moo- moos

I still wanna see Thunderchicken take on Moolius

*announcer*
"In this corner... weilding bolts of lightning... we have ThunderChiken!!!
and in the oposite corner...
Wearing a toga and a crown of laurel leaves, and carrying... a... a violin?!?! We have the great Moooolius!!!"

*Wolf whistles from the drag queens in the audience erupt*

And the action begins...

or not.

I have had certain female health issues lately and I thank god for the COW. I have had nothing but beef for the past 2 weeks (medium rare)...yummiest 2 weeks I've had in a while, and it takes the edge off the anemic effects I've suffered lately. So you see, cows not only taste good and make great shoes and coats, but they are also good for you!!!

Thank god someone revived this thread. I was getting bored..=P

Here you go folks...


Signs Your Cow Has
Mad-Cow Disease
Your cow insists on wearing a little A-1 sauce behind each ear as cologne.
She refuses to let you milk her, saying "Not on the first date."
Your cow gets a silicon implant for her udder.
Your cow appears on Oprah, claiming to be a horse trapped in a cow’s body.
Your cow insists that all Hindus are sacred.
Your cow insists that evaporated milk comes from dehydrated cows.
She starts giving you Milk of Magnesia.
Your cow starts smoking its grass rather than eating it.
Your cow spends half the day sitting in the Lotus Position chanting "MOO" backwards.
Your cow insists that it can give you chocolate milk if you started feeding it Hershey bars.
Your cow asks you to brand it again but only if you’ll wear something sexy this time.
Your cow becomes a Muslim and asks to be called "LaCream Abdul Milkbar".
Your cow purposely blinds itself with a dart and yells "Bullseye"!
Your cow insists Milk Duds are the result of stupid cows.
Your cow tips other cows over and laughs.
Your cow starts laughing hysterically until milk spurts out its nose.

Your welcome Larry, anything I can do to provide giggles

LMAO @ Larry.... too funny

OMG...that was great!!! Love the cow tipping by your cow, and the smoking its grass instead of eating it...BRILLIANT!!!
I had a great steak the other night at Applebees...it had shrimp and melted cheese on top, and damn was it yummy! Everyone should become anemic...greatest excuse to eat beef with every meal!!! OK...maybe not become anemic, but at least folks should try having beef with every meal...
I have found in the 6 weeks that I have had this problem, that eating beef 1- helps with my lack of energy and 2- apparently has helped me to lose 8 pounds!

people of the site Caedes....my point of view of this site is that there is much conflict....your either in it or looking for it.....I guess this message thing jus turned into a big mean cow conversation.....how do I delete this?

You don't, you started it your stuck with it.. Just don't start any more.

i will not...i do not care if you all do but I will not....

lol...is it b/c we tell cow jokes??

awwww. Moolius… they're just teasing. I swear. well… MOST of them are just teasing.

EMC 'looked down' on the site and saw that if was conflictus .. er, conflictatory? .. conflict-a-saurus? ..

he then reports to his boss at Chick-fil-A to collect a fat bonus check for his stealth marketing job

Cowabunga baby

I protest ! I like the cow jokes & the cowamaderie .....I think it's helped to bring us together actually.....

Q. Why did the cow cross the road ?
A. He didn't, he got scooped up & is soon to be my dinner at Longhorn's ....

Chow

Hehehehehe

So you're taking your ball and going home, huh?? FIne! Well, I'm not inviting you to my birthday party! And we were having a chicken-flavoured cake, too...

ur supposed to say cow...it gets this person mad :)

He's pouting.

well .. none of MY threads have reached BOVINE proportions .. and they be deeply fillusofical .. awl uf dem

Don't you mean philos-offal-ical??

Awww Moolius! Don't go away mad!! Just go away!!..=PPPP

Keith, while all of your threads are udder-ly fascinating, they lack the bash-ability...because you just enjoy the torture too much...we dish something out, and you go "thank you mistress, may I have another please". It's just so Cow-founding how you enjoy the abuse. Guess we can't call you a Chikin!!

He's taking the bull by the horns and is mooooving along.. LOL

LOL @ Jacqueline

Here's a song.....

Keep On Moving, by Bob Marley

Lord, I've got to keep on moving
Lord, I've got to get on down
Lord, I've got to keep on moving
Where I can't be found
Lord, they're coming after me

shouldnt it be... keep on moooooooving and .... they're coming after me with steak knives

Actually, in the song he was gonna be hung I think, but I thought if I put that out there the thread might get yanked

But I like your idea....it's udderly cool

He obviously has a beef with the fine membership of caedes.net

But, but, but... does that mean this tread is gonna get mooooved on over to the Valley of the Cow graveyard?

I've got a better idea.Let's just move it to the slaughterhouse. I'll take my portion in T-Bones please!!..=PPP

or.. or.. if we keep posting here we could start calling it the Cow Cemetary.... can you imagine all of the Zombie cows roaming around going... mooo... not that is all that different than a live cow...

I wonder if Steven King has ever seen this thread, maybe he could start a sequal...
but, anyhoo...

Moo

You know, we could maybe do a movie script ? The Attack Of The Killer Cows .....

think that would sell ?

Definitely.
I have the perfect cow to play the lead, names Daisy. Already had a part in the award winning episode of Lucys Creek (not at all a rip off of a certain tv show) starring yours truly. See, I was Joey, and I dumped my boyfriend Dawson for Daisy....

She was brilliant, even did a convincing 'run of terror' away from me when I started professing my undying love for her in a really bad American Accent.

Best of all, the theme song for this show was 'I dont wanna wait, for the cows to come home, Im starving and I want my dinner noooowww....'

So not only do we have a lead, we have a sound track ;)

sounds more like "sophie's choice"

Hehehehe.

Wait Soph, I'm confused here ....is that a bad American ? With an accent ?

Dear Moolius,

Your point was lost, as I think your efforts were a little misguided and rather obtuse.

To 'incite' a discussion about conflict, is clearly not the way to go.

Signed,

Well ... me, of course ... Marcus 'Battered & Deepfried' Brutus.

oh .. and as a side note .. I will NEVER eat at .. er, .. whatever you were advertising

as the saying goes:

irritate me once .. shame on you
irritate me twice .. er, .. shame on you some more

*Taps on the mushroom hat*
umm.. he wanted you to eat more chicken... duh... :oP

BTW, your complexion and blinky nose syndrome has cleared up quite nicely. :o)