You haven’t been really inebriated unless you have some sort of temporary memory loss and you wake up with a tongue the texture of sandpaper - another key factor is being able to tell whether you ate a post drinking session curry or a kebab the night before only by checking the colour and content of your fingernails rather than a feat of recollection. That’s the English way at least :-)

lol idk what that means >_< i.ll read read later lol

Each year we have a work reunion. The last we saw of one of the guys last year he was sitting cross-legged on the footpath having an earnest conversation with a fire hydrant.

lol like me w.the cars and my tv ;P

Loving the bottle, I have more than my fair share of stories…here’s one I get a kick outta:

Myself (single) and 3 females (all married) co-workers took a long 3 day weekend trip out of state together. OK, OK, before I go on…we’re all just friends aside from work and I just want the record straight. One of my co-workers is actually my boss, the other two, just co-workers.

Anyway, we partied down the first night of our mini vacation together and all had lots to drink. We got back to our suite at the hotel, yes, we all shared a room…My boss on a sofa, the other two girls in a bed and I got a bed all to myself. OK, OK, I’m getting’ to it!! We all went to sleep and I woke up later needing to tinkle. I went to the bathroom and couldn’t find the light switch nor the toilet…finally I “thought” I found the toilet and sat down to tinkle (standing was just outta the question at this point-in-time). As I proceeded to tinkle my boss opened up the door and saw me sitting there, she said sorry and said she’d wait and closed the door. I finished and went back to bed. The next morning we all woke up and my boss strolled in rubbing her head and wanted to know why we didn’t help her last night. Puzzled we ask why. She said she had seen me sitting and when she sat down in the bathroom she fell backwards…into the tub and hit her head. Yes, apparently I sat on the edge of the tub and tinkled in it. She also couldn’t figure how she got wet…we all laughed and I ended up telling her why she was wet. We joked about it and all was cool.

How many of ya’all can saw your boss has fell into a puddle of your tinkle?

lol. what.s more funny. is that you call it tinkle LOL ;P

Hey with all the "censorship" stuff going-round I figured I better. D'oh!!

8~O

lol. i kno. but still tinkle.s a funny funny word lol >_<

Stay away from Gin, for goodness sake stay away from gin...............!

I am usually not a big drinker, I'll drink, but it's more like me nursing one drink to everyone else's 8 drinks...so this one time I was ata small party and the host was serving mudslides, which I will down in a gulp if possible. Little did I know that these mudslides were special. I had who-knows how many and was laughing and dancing and spinning (or was it the room was spinning). Well the next day I wake up in the hallway with a dry mouth and headache from HELL. It later was revealed to me that he had whipped up the mudslides using the normal mudslide recipe and a magic-mushroom tea mixture. So not only was I drunk, but massively stoned too!!! To this day, mudslides scare me!

LOL ;P

my lord… I wouldn't even begin to know where to start… hmm… how about one of the early ones?

Warning!: The following story should be taken as… life experience… we were young & stupid back then.

I was oh 17… and home from college (permanently it turned out although I didn't know it @ the time), sleeping over @ my friend's house. Her bf comes over and she starts telling him how hysterically funny I am when I'm drunk (true, i'm not an angry drunk by any stretch of the imagination). End result, we leave her 14 year old sister to babysit her 4 mth old child and head off to the bar.

It's a private bar, so they're serving White Russians in beer mugs for $1.50 and her bf was buying… I had about 5 or 6 of those… it was right before New Year's Eve and the bar was giving away free Jello shots, which I'd never had before… so I had about 8 or 9 of those…

Come the end of the evening, I'm being walked out of the bar w/a 16 year old under each arm. Head lolling drunkenly over to the left, I ask "What's your name?" "PJ" "Oh, okay". Head flops over towards the right "What's your name?" "PJ" "Oh, okay" They pour me into the car and off back to me friend's house we go.

Upon arriving there, the 14-year-old sister's help is required to walk me up the stairs to bed… and I pat the wall and say "oooo… a WALL" and she looks @ me and says… "Yes… and it's straight and YOU'RE not". I fall asleep fairly quickly, but know that I am in serious trouble when i wake up 4 hours later and have to get the baby his bottle because I am still drunk and the hangover has already begun.

Now… don't tell me you thought this story was over… SUCKER…

@ 8 in the morning, my driving teacher shows up @ the door to take me for my 2nd lesson… the 1/2 hour across Brooklyn back to my house. The lesson ends abruptly when I pull over about halfway there, throw open the door and proceed to lose me innards. Mr. Milrod, sweet little jewish man that he was ("be careful bubbie there's ice on the ground") drives me the rest of the way home, and I go lay down on the couch and reattempt sleep as the rest of my family is waking up.

And the final kicker:

Upon seeing that I am sick, my father questions me, what's wrong etc. "My stomach hurts, and I'm dizzy and nauseous and the lights hurt my eyes". Dad goes off to consult w/Mom, comes back and says "Is (friend) sick too today?" I answer quite honestly "Yes, but not as bad". Off he goes for more consultation, and comes back:

"We think you ate something bad last nite and have food poisoning" 8•P

LOL the last sentence is the best ;P

*grin* I know.

Tell another tell another!

I was hanging out in the boy's dormitory (go figure) playing quarters with some friends. About an hour into the game... I found a pack of cigarettes on the end table and decided it was my absolute duty to teach everyone in the room the "correct" way to smoke.

Funny thing was, I *didn't* smoke... and was very dramatic & exaggerated with my movements... a la Andrew Dice Clay. Then I hacked up a lung and passed out.

one per day young man! now please go back and twiddle your thumbs for the remaining time *snicker*

lol smoosh and lol what cat?

Growing up in Hawaii, I had some "in's" that wouldn't happen anywhere else. One of these "in's" was that I had been friends with the concert promoters wife (That's a story in itself). I was 16ish and Aerosmith was on tour, with a stop-off in Hawaii. So I call up Claudia and get set up with front-row seats and backstage passes for me a my friend. The concert ROCKED (it was Aerosmith after all), after that my friend Shelly (a true nympho) and I went backstage. Claudia was backstage and was mother hen...but...we ended up leaving with the band and headed back to the Kahala Hilton (now called the W, I think). Well the stories you hear of how the band-members can drink...it's true. I had my first alcoholic beverage at the party in the suite. I remember that Shelly disappeared for a time (and to this day I have my suspicions, but that girl never told--bitch) and I drank, who-knows- what kind of drink...it was strong and fruity, and knocked on my butt. All I know is that I was taken back to my house at Aliamanu Military Reservation (yeah, not good) in the limo, and brought up to my front-door, given to my mom who said something along the lines of "I hope you learned your lesson" and "if you're pregnant, you better get a good job"...I spent 2 days praying to the porcelain god, and didn't drink again until I was 20...yes, again under-age...like Cat said, take it as a life lesson of what not to do.

yes life lessons. but ppl still do it ;P lol.

Here's one they don't tell you about in Lamaze...
I had a doc who was a special high-risk gyn...anyway, pregnant with my (even in utero) rambunctious twins...and getting kicked around pretty good. So she told me (bless her soul) that when they act up to toss back a Guiness. Apparently, Guiness being such a dark brew is chock-full of vitamins, and the alcohol will knock the kids right out, without harming them the way vodka and whiskey and stuff could.


Anyway, to my story...I was about 6 months along and the kids were wrestling and boxing and whatever else, and I was suffering big time. So I grabbed my trusty Guiness and started to drink it...well my husband and room-mate came home and had rented the Blair Witch...needless to say, pregnancy, Guiness, and Blair Witch DO NOT mix well...mostly Blair Witch though...all that damned camera bouncing really screwed me up!

Not a true story of drunkeness, as I wasn't drunk...but alcohol was involved.

alrighty… next story…

this is a quickie… you know that you spend too much time drunk in the club when you come home in a separate car from your roommate, and you wander into her room because the light is on just to check on her. Upon hearing "Cat… close the car door", you turn out the light and she says "Thank You"

Being able to decipher your friend's drunken requests… well… LOL

I am, as we speak, suffering from a monstrous hangover brought on by a night at the dog racing lubricated with lots of beer, wine and cheap vodka. Not so much a story as a regular event but hey what can you do in this state?

lol. phil.s drunk. the & isn.t showing off too nicely atm ;P what example are you showing now huh? ;P

an excellent one

i c. -goes to grab some vodka hidden in a closer that really isn.t hidden from me- ;P absolute coolness.

In my current 1/2 sloshed state, I attempted London Broil.

Full disclosure: ok, I was only 1/2 sloshed THEN, now is a different story 8P

are you drunk? LOL you didn.t put your square in. you must be drunk! cat.s drunk ppl. lol. ;P

According to me hostess sittin in back of me, I quite sure is. Friggin wimp's goin to sleep in a couple of minutes though, and i gotta stay here and finish this current drink and sober up so I can drive home. Is she rude or WHAT?

LOL. ur drunk ;P
so cat. do you like randy.s blue balls?

Ohhh Gawwd...here is probably a shot tale of the ONE time I was way too inebriated...more years ago than I wanna think of...We used to do the janitorial stuff in a child care center...so we would go in the evening(cause the little kids werent there of course...lol) One night we had been partying way much..and way more booze...than we should have. We drove on over to clean the place.. and kept right on drinkin'....pretty soon I had to go to the ladies room...and I did, but I had ONE problem...I also found myself having to possible throw up...and I could NOT, no way, unlock the dumb restroom door between me and the outside...so I had to crawl under the darn thing...and then I threw up quickly in the sink! I didnd remember that I had done that, so I left it...for all those poor kids to see the next day when they got there..Talk bout embarassed...of course the never knew who did it, thank Gawd!!!! and thank goodness I never ever drank like that again...YUCK>

*swaying softly*
"hic"

I don't drink... really.. I don...zzzzzzzz

maybe. drinkin @ work doesn.t count 4 u?

You all need serious help! Pass it around;-)

alrighty… when I was 19-22? 23? I live in a party house. Not that we set out to have it that way, but you know… we were the only ones apart from our friend Tommy Ng (thus called Tommy No Good) who didn't live w/our parents.

So… well… needless to say… we had LOTS of company. On the very 1st nite we broke the apt in, someone literally slept in the bathtub cuz once we got her through the process of using "le pissoir", we couldn't coordinate her enough to get her back OUT of the bathroom. lmao.

And... would that person be you, per chance?
hmmm?

lol, no, i slept on the floor in my room in a sleeping bag… cuz my bed hadn't been delivered yet. 8•P

hmm.. hmm... sure.. :oP

Where is my rounds and rounds of marmite on toast with gallons of tea. Opens fridge and pops a Budvar.

Inspired by a certain Mythbuster's show my friends and I decide to retest the myth that one can take gut rot vodka and improve it by running it through a filter. At the store the timid Pakastani liquor seller stares quizzically at the 4 large jugs of vodka as he rings them up. Undaunted we pay and take the vodka out to my friend’s truck and put them in the back to comply with Washington State's arms reach laws. As we are putting the vodka in the back a huge crow comes down and lands directly on the vodka. An omen? Maybe. We make it back to my friend’s house without incident, which concerns us as we have very large containers of vodka sitting in the back of the truck in plain view. We start the long an extensive process of setting up 3 mason 2 gallon jars with coffee filters. We try some as a control, and my friend chokes and tries to spit up the vodka. It gets in his nose and his eyes are burning. I stand there laughing very hard. I am no more successful than my friend in swallowing the awful concoction. 4 hours later we have filtered all the vodka we had purchased. We try the first batch and are elated at the fact that it tastes better. We celebrate this by drinking heavily...very heavily. The last conscious thought I had before blacking out was debating the basics quantum physics vs. the basics of star trek warp physics. The next thing I knew was that I was in a police cell. Frantically looking around fearing I had crashed my car into a ditch or was arrested for indecent exposure, I try to calmly ask why I was there. To which the officer responded something to the extent that they had found me in a field in the fetal position, crying, and puking my guts out. According to my friend I had decided to try to walk the 8.6 miles to my apartment instead of driving, because we were too drunk to drive. Keep in mind that neither of us drinks very often, so it probably didn't take very long me to reach a drunken stupor.

Did anybody read ALL of that? I got a good one, this one time i had a little sip of wine and once i had a little sip of beer...Yes, why drink that when can drink coke?

i read half way. and then i dozed off. i kno that he got it to taste better. that's good. cause vodka taste nasty lol.