Have you ever wondered how really stupid people make it through life? Like… not stupid on an IQ level basis… stupid on the "go ahead! hit me harder! I can take it!" level… and then they're really confused as to why they end up in the emergency room w/a ruptured spleen.

Well… *grin* sometimes they don't… and then they are the proud recipient of a DARWIN AWARD

List your Winners… Nominees… and Future Applicants here!

(Stipulation… you may not post a Caedes member's name unless A - you are joking and B - you know they can take the joke.)

Hey, my chemistry teacher used to read some of them out in class...their gr8! lol.

LOL! I've seen that page before. It seems some people's stupidity knows no bounds. LOL

when do i get one??

Okay, I actually got this as part of an email.... but it sure applies !

A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When someone inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."

I just had to share !

i could see cat doing that right now.
when she's supposed to be working.
she's shopping and shoving that ATM card into the comp

Rofl, atm card in a floppy drive. I was just reading that (darwinawards.com) site for the past..oh 30 mins i guess.

And the latest Darwin Award goes to .... * drumroll* Michael Jackson !

Who with one or two more facial surgeries will look like a corpse !

YAY! Somebody finally got the point of this thread! and LQQK @ that! It was my other 1/2

Now I can submit my Future Applicant: My former uncle who was SO dumb that he stole my aunt's money, but instead of taking it down the Cayman Islands when he went w/the kids to go scuba diving a couple of times a year, left it all in Massachussettes state banks where it could be traced and recovered.

He was ALSO so dumb that when she sued for divorce, if he had simply stood up and said "yup, I'm the schmuck", he'd have gotten away w/close to 1/2 her money. Dragging out the fight for over 5 years however, he pulled NUMEROUS idiotic stunts which resulted in him going through about 4 sets of lawyers, getting less than 1/4 of her money, and pissing off the judge so bad that he wrote a book long decision so that when it was appealed all the info would be instantaneously available to the appellate court judges.

My favorite stunt: Signing an agreement to allow my aunt into the house to retrieve some of her work files, not being there @ the appointed time forcing her to call the police and a locksmith to get into the house. Then challenging these actions in court as her trespassing and breaking & entering and upon being shown a copy of the agreement he had signed stating "How do I know that's my signature? Anybody could have signed that". To the judge that witnessed his signature. LMAO.

Then the judge said "how do I know I witnessed his signature, it could have been someone else."

The check out girl at the grocery store who couldnt figure out how to ring up the "Please Place Between Orders" divider.

That's simple....you just scan it.

Well, this one semi-qualifies...
My husbands cousin was a genius. In 1st grade they wanted her in 4th grade, by 6th grade they wanted her to do 11th grade work, etc...she was given fukll 4-year scholarships to 3 diff Ivy League schools, Mensa asked her to join their group...she lives in Kalihi (O'ahu's getto area) making 20k a year, all because she thought it would be in her best interest to hang with friends and smoke the bong.

My husband's aunt by marriage ... who divorced her husband after 34 years of marriage. Why ? Because now that they're *then* in their late 60's.. she decided that his kids from a former marriage ( 3 daughters ) were going to end up with a bigger share of his inheritance than say ... her daughter from a former marriage. So she sued him for divorce thinking she could rob him blind in the divorce settlements & get his money that way.

Which didn't work. She got a healthy chunk, yes, but nowhere near what she was expecting. In the meantime, while they were going through the divorce, she went through lawyer after lawyer because none of them could or would guarantee her the money.

At one point she had a young female attorney, who told her point blank that this wasn't the 60's anymore & it was hard to take a guy to the cleaners etc. So this woman turned around & spit directly in her lawyer's face & THEN told the lawyer that she had AIDS. And couldn't understand why the judge slapped an injunction on her, dismissed her attorney & picked out a court appointed attorney & made her go with that one. AND she had to get tested & pay for her former attorney's testing too, because who was going to believe this nasty old lady when she retracted her statement ?

Okay… so… some mths back… this guy nicknamed "Fat Nick" (Italian bkgd... how could you doubt it?) beat up a black man who was trespassing in his neighborhood and put him in the hospital. The black guy readily admits he was in the neighborhood to steal a car… mug somebody… find some way of getting easy money.

Because Fat Nick tossed a racial slur @ some point during the whole incident, he's been convicted of a hate crime. His mother insists that he's not a racist.

Got all that so far? okay… chapter 2

Last week, 2 "young adult males" were arrested in the next neighborhood over for public disturbance and resisting arrest. As the whole thing is going down, the mother of one of these 2 men yells "Get the N---- cop". She then insists she's not a racist.

Still w/me? hmm… if you're still here… chapter 3

It now turns out that Fat Nick beat up that woman's son 4 years ago...

and now… chapter 4

The reaction of Fat Nick's mom in today's newspaper: (wait for it…) NOW WHO'S A RACIST?


I would like to officially submit the whole lot of these people as Future Applicants. Thank you for your consideration.

I have a few applicants... one I know, one I don't.

The first one - Chloe.

Chloe is in my class at school, a teen model, really spoilt.
One day, we were practising for sports day, and she said "I want to be in the relay instead of Gemma."
We all got very annoyed at that, so we said that the top 4 people in our class could run the race. We would figure it out by having a mini race there an then.
Chloe says, "Oh, but I can't run!"

The second - Strange man who I don't know the name of.

One day, this man was at an airport, trying to get through the metal detector.
However, he kept setting it off.
First it was his car keys...
Then his belt...
Then his earring...
Finally, he confesses.
"Alright, alright, I've got a bag of dope in my shoe... happy?"

Uhm ... can you nominate yourself? Just asking. :oP

Depends... did you cut yourself off from the gene pool? :P

Well, that's a funny story...

Joking, Lesinaldo. I think you can, but I don't think you should because you seem a very intelligent person. Sometimes.

Ha! Fooled another one. Although, I only seem to fool Gemma on days not beginning with M or T or F. You know ... 'sometimes.' :oP

*puts on bathing suit and jumps back into the gene pool*

...how to really screw up your life in 3 easy steps

1- kidnap someone
2- shoot yourself
3- shoot yourself again

Hey I missed getting back to jail on time, lemme steal a car to get back to jail...


...ummm...yeah...

Dose wuz bod happenin'! Right on! ah' likes de fust one cuz' it wuz upside rapers. Bod rediculous..no mo'e t'say. Slap mah fro!

LOL! 2 good Future Applicants there.

Hehe... pants.

I'm not surprised about the unreliability of the London Underground staff... never did trust those folk... fry ma hide.