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The Real Man Test

::laurengary
11/28/06 3:34 AM GMT
Are you a real man ? Take the test below and find out ! And ladies, this may help you gain a little prespective on things .....


The Real Man Test

Note: All "real men" answer "C" to all of these questions. In understanding this and carefully reviewing the "C" answer, women will come far in understanding men and enriching their own lives.

1. Alien beings from a highly advanced society visit the Earth, and you are the first human they encounter. As a token of intergalactic friendship, they present you with a small but incredibly sophisticated device that is capable of curing all disease, providing
an infinite supply of clean energy, wiping out hunger and poverty, and permanently eliminating oppression and violence all over the entire Earth.

You decide to:

A. Present it to the President of the United States.

B. Present it to the Secretary General of the United Nations.

C. Take it apart.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

2. As you grow older, what lost quality of your youthful life do you miss the most?

A. Innocence.

B. Idealism.

C. Cherry bombs.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

3. When is it okay to kiss another male?

A. When you wish to display simple and pure affection without regard for narrow-minded social conventions.

B. When he is the Pope. (Not on the lips.)

C. When he is your brother and you are Al Pacino and this is the only really sportsman-like way to let him know that, for business reasons, you have to have him killed.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


4. In your opinion, the ideal pet is:

A. A cat.

B. A dog.

C. A dog that eats cats.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


5. You have been seeing a woman for several years. She's attractive and intelligent, and you always enjoy being with her. One leisurely Sunday afternoon the two of you are taking it easy. You're watching a football game; she's reading the newspaper when she suddenly, out of the clear blue sky, tells you that she thinks she really loves you, but, she can no longer bear the uncertainty of not knowing where your relationship is going. She says she's not asking whether you want to get married; only whether you believe
that you have some kind of future together. What do you say?

A. That you sincerely believe the two of you do have a future, but you don't want to rush it.

B. That although you also have strong feelings for her, you can not honestly say that you'll be ready anytime soon to make a lasting commitment, and you don't want to hurt her by holding out false hope.

C. That you cannot believe the Broncos called a draw play on third and seventeen.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


6. Okay, so you have decided that you truly love a woman and you want to spend the rest of your life with her, sharing the joys and the sorrows the world has to offer, come what may. How do you tell her?

A. You take her to a nice restaurant and tell her after dinner.

B. You take her for a walk on a moonlit beach, and you say her name, and when she turns to you, with the sea breeze blowing through her hair and the stars in her eyes, you tell her.

C. Tell her what?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


7. One weekday morning your wife wakes up feeling ill and asks you to get your three children ready for school. Your first question to her is:

A. "Do they need to eat or anything?"

B. "They're enrolled in school already?"

C. "There are three of them, right?"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


8. When is it okay to throw away a set of veteran underwear?

A. When it has turned the color of a dead whale and developed new holes so large that you're not sure which ones were originally intended for your legs.

B. When it is down to eight loosely connected underwear molecules and has to be handled with tweezers.

C. It is never okay to throw away veteran underwear. A real guy checks the garbage regularly in case somebody (and we are not naming names, but this would be the wife) is quietly trying to discard his underwear ( which she is frankly jealous of because the guy seems to have a more intimate relationship with it than with her ).

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


9. What, in your opinion, is the most reasonable explanation for the fact that Moses led the Israelites all over the place for forty years before they finally got to the Promised Land?

A. He was being tested.

B. He wanted them to really appreciate the Promised Land when they finally got there.

C. He refused to ask for directions.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


10. What is the human race's single greatest achievement?

A. Democracy.

B. Religion.

C. Remote control.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*



Just for Keith ..... a little division :)
0∈ [?]
I'm not only weird, but I'm gifted too ! ......CLICK TO SAVE LIVES ! .......MY GALLERY

Comments

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.animaniactoo
11/28/06 3:45 AM GMT
I admit to being highly amused… by the truth here. 8•P
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One man sees things and says "why?" - but I dream things that never were and I say "why not?"
=Piner
11/28/06 3:47 AM GMT
On # 9, the answer is: D. Because his kids kept asking 'Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? ' so he took the scenic route. Otherwise I would answer C to the others except for # 5... I don't care to watch sports. :c)
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The work of art may have a moral effect, but to demand moral purpose from an artist is to make him ruin his work. (Johann Wolfgang von Goethe - 1832)
::laurengary
11/28/06 3:58 AM GMT
LMAO .... # 2 # 9 are my hubby ... :D
0∈ [?]
I'm not only weird, but I'm gifted too ! ......CLICK TO SAVE LIVES ! .......MY GALLERY
::J_272004
11/28/06 4:30 AM GMT
hehehehehehehehe... boy are those true... lmao
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MY GALLERY ........... "Live one day at a time and make it a masterpiece"
+Samatar
11/28/06 4:51 AM GMT
LOL, I must admit I would be very tempted to take that device apart to see how it worked...
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-Everyone is entitled to my opinion- rescope.com.au
::laurengary
11/28/06 4:56 AM GMT
Ha ! I knew it... :D
0∈ [?]
I'm not only weird, but I'm gifted too ! ......CLICK TO SAVE LIVES ! .......MY GALLERY
::mimi
11/28/06 7:45 AM GMT
# 1, 6, 8, & 9 will do for starters for the man of the house here...;=)
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~mimi~
::third_eye
11/28/06 7:55 AM GMT
why even bother including "A" and "B" ?
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lately, i've fallen horribly behind in my thanks and comments. I'll catch up, but until I do, please know all your kind words are greatly appreciated.
::DigiCamMan
11/28/06 8:02 AM GMT
Where IS that remote?
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I would rather live my life as if there is a God and die to find out there isn't, than live my life as if there isn't and die to find out there is. Albert Camus ........ My Gallery
::laurengary
11/28/06 6:28 PM GMT
Just for the comparsion value Rob .... & who knows ? Maybe there's some guy out there who really believes Democracy is mankind's greatest achievment. :D
0∈ [?]
I'm not only weird, but I'm gifted too ! ......CLICK TO SAVE LIVES ! .......MY GALLERY
&KEIFER
11/28/06 7:18 PM GMT
typical woman ... forgot to put dividing lines between questions

here ---> you can use this one


`·.¸¸.·´´``··._.·`·.¸¸.·´´``··._.·`·.¸¸.·´´``··._.·`·.¸¸.·´´``··._.·
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*---===>>>>>(¯`·._(¯`·._.: Hangin' With My Gnomies :._.·´¯)_.·´¯)<<<<<===---*
::third_eye
11/28/06 7:32 PM GMT
well, technically, it (Democracy) can be had by remote control. bush pressed the florida button in 2000, and the ohio button in 2004..oh,wait that was tyranny ...nevermind...
0∈ [?]
lately, i've fallen horribly behind in my thanks and comments. I'll catch up, but until I do, please know all your kind words are greatly appreciated.
::DigiCamMan
11/28/06 7:37 PM GMT
Oh don't get me started! Our biggest achievment to date is the fact that there is anyone left on the planet at all....I'm sure we will rectify that soon enough.
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I would rather live my life as if there is a God and die to find out there isn't, than live my life as if there isn't and die to find out there is. Albert Camus ........ My Gallery
::purmusic
11/30/06 3:21 PM GMT
Uhm ... ok, this is a public forum and I am risking tarnishing what little rep I do have on the site ... but, here goes ...

I ... I ... I sometimes cry over sad movies. :o(

Alrighhhhht ... ok ... busted. I wasn't actually crying, it was more tears from having rubbed my eyes after touching the deep fried jalepeno pepper poppers. Now, there's some real tears for ya.

Oh, and I can't answer number three, insofar as that it may be incriminating and lead to the shallow graves of some 'lost' brothers. :oP
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The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes. - Marcel Proust
::DigiCamMan
12/01/06 7:48 AM GMT
I have come to the conclusion that scientitsts are experimenting with some kind of new drug in the atmosphere over Canada...to be be more precise right over Les' house.
0∈ [?]
I would rather live my life as if there is a God and die to find out there isn't, than live my life as if there isn't and die to find out there is. Albert Camus ........ My Gallery
::purmusic
12/01/06 8:00 AM GMT
You are correct sir ... it's called oxygen. Pure unadulterated, uncontaminated oxygen. :oP

There are some benefits to being north of the 49th parallel.

Plus ... our currency is foofier than yours. And in a pinch, can be easily substituted into a game of monopoly.
0∈ [?]
The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes. - Marcel Proust
::DigiCamMan
12/01/06 8:09 AM GMT
Yeah...we pay $5.95 for a Coke here...you guys pay $8.95 for the same Coke. Looks like we may be smarter and far thriftier than the Canucks. Mind you...I said it 'looks' that way.
0∈ [?]
I would rather live my life as if there is a God and die to find out there isn't, than live my life as if there isn't and die to find out there is. Albert Camus ........ My Gallery
Icedtears
12/01/06 10:10 AM GMT
wait i pay £1.50 for a large bottle of coke...

..*conufsed*
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[Wolfy][My Beautiful Lie..][</3] Feel free to email me!
::Hottrockin
12/01/06 10:46 AM GMT
A real man can carry two cups of coffee and a dozen donuts at once!! 8~O
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Picture Purrrfect . Why does the picture come out square when the lens is round??? 8~O
::purmusic
12/01/06 1:08 PM GMT
Make that a baker's dozen in my case. :oP
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The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes. - Marcel Proust
.CurtieBear
12/01/06 1:10 PM GMT
Real men don't cry and can "take it like a man".

:o)
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+Samatar
12/01/06 1:36 PM GMT
*isn't saying a word*
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-Everyone is entitled to my opinion- rescope.com.au
::DigiCamMan
12/01/06 5:35 PM GMT
I think I remember you crying on another thread Curt.
0∈ [?]
I would rather live my life as if there is a God and die to find out there isn't, than live my life as if there isn't and die to find out there is. Albert Camus ........ My Gallery

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