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New Short Story Game
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... was worried he might end up with Jim Carrey and his Slinky. Not that he had anything against slinkies, but...
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"Everyone Loves a Slinky" is not a song he wants to remember, however...
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...he realized the small yellow dog likes anything weird and wonderful, so he reluctantly bought a Slinky from the nearest toy shop. Imagine his shock when...
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...then laughed over his bag of yellow jelly dog sweeties, which he'd found in a back pocket. Jon, after a withering glare at the giggling cat, set his new Slinky crawling down the rather steep street...
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...realized that the Slinky was untamable and could...
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...walk along under its own steam. No matter how fast everyone chased it, the Slinky slunk even faster. Eventually...
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...the Slinky should be left to its own devices. If questioned, they would pretend it wasn't theirs. Meanwhile there was still the problem of a small yellow...
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...no, make that green...turtle who found its way into the....
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...street, flopping along in the path of a speeding ice-cream van...
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...from Mars. Shooting heat rays and kicking up huge gouts of dust and cobbles from the disintegrating street, the 20-storey slinky lumbered towards the shocked group. The cat was the first to react. Picking up a...
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...straight at the Giant Slinky. A small yellow dog suddenly appeared out of nowhere and excitedly followed the ball, which bounced off the shining side of the towering giant....
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and back towards the cat, who excitedly batted it back into the air...
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... straight into the Slinky's eye. This slowed the Slinky long enough for the yellow-green turtle to ...
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Minds are like parachutes. Just because you've lost yours doesn't mean you can borrow mine.
revive and watch as the pink ball rebounded back towards the cat, who was quite excited to give it another whop and...
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...the giant slinky flinched as the ball flew towards its other eye. Unfortunately the small yellow dog jumped in to grab the ball, saving the slinky and causing everyone to roar at him in frustration. The...
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towering giant, however, was thrown off balance, teetering...
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...slowly, while the group gazed in unwilling fascination. The turtle hastened to get out of its way before it could...
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... how shocking it was that the place could fall apart to this extent. Meanwhile the giant slinky was still teetering from side to side, crushing a parked car here and a department store there. Finally...
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it went away because Sam was tired of it. Begone! Meanwhile...
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-Everyone is entitled to my opinion-
the yellow dog was totally confused at the state of affairs and the sudden disappearance of the giant slinky. However,
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...he noticed an empty glass bottle on the ground. It was labelled EVIL GENIE -- BEWARE! He promptly cheered up, as he'd always wanted three wishes. He looked around for the genie...
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and then noticed that a wily marmoset had its sights on the same bottle...
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...and panicked. They both made a dive for the bottle and bumped their heads with a crash. When they fell unconscious, the cat (still alive in this world, ha ha) stepped in and...
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ran off with the bottle. "Where is that genie, and what should I wish for? Catnip, perhaps?"
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"But no... catnip wouldn't last very long, and a year's supply wouldn't work either... it would just dry up before I got around to it all. Hmm." He pondered, then brightened. "How about my own lasagne factory? They would have to let the boss take as much as he wanted for his own stores. And I could have my own coffee chain too. That's two wishes. What about the third...?"
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In the meantime, the genie had grown impatient and spirited itself away, leaving the stupid cat to dream of all the things it would never have. There's a lesson it that for all of us. Meanwhile, the marmoset set about...
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-Everyone is entitled to my opinion-
... coming round from his faint. He sat up, moaning, complaining of feeling sick. The cat shrugged and put the bottle in his bag. The genie would have to come back for it some time. It contained his living quarters with TV, hi-fi, kitchenette (stocked well), Kindle Fire loaded with books... the genie had had a lot of time to read for the last thousand years. His Amazon account...
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contained a lot of reading material on his wish list...
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but he thought he would use the time to brush up on his skills as...
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recently, his wish granting had not been going too well. For example...
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-Everyone is entitled to my opinion-
...there was that time when someone wished for a Death by Chocolate cake.. Not a wise thing to ask of a genie. This one didn't mean to be evil -- his wish-grantling was so clumsy he just got a reputation for it, resulting in him being imprisoned by the local magician. Speaking of magicians, he had a score to settle...
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a band of gypsies that he had run into previously. They were adept at all sorts of trickery and disguise, and they were handy with bladed scarf, kukri, rapier, sap, star knife, war razor, and whip (so Google says!) Locating the group, he...
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...said he would grant them three wishes if they would kindly grant him one of his own. The Gypsy King looked horrified and said thanks but NOT having three wishes was all the reward he needed. What could he do for the genie today? The genie...
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said that he had a score to settle and needed their help...
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....and the Gypsy King immediately brightened. There was nothing he liked better than a bit of juicy gossip. He invited the genie to sit with them and enjoy the warmth of their fire while the story was told. (I think somebody needs to shake the plot up at this point? :-D)...
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Suddenly, the fire exploded into a deadly inferno and engulfed all who sat around it in flame!
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-Everyone is entitled to my opinion-
The genie leapt up and whirled around, and there stood the magician, laughing manically.
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And, so, it was a standoff. Who had the greater power?
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The cat, as usual not really interested in other people's titanic struggles, stood up in the middle and said "Can we go home? I'd like a nice peanut butter sandwich and a night in front of the TV."
The genie looked much struck and said "where did YOU appear from? I thought I left you in my dust."
The cat rolled his eyes and said, "Don't you know cats? We're the genies of the animal world. Anyway..."
The genie looked much struck and said "where did YOU appear from? I thought I left you in my dust."
The cat rolled his eyes and said, "Don't you know cats? We're the genies of the animal world. Anyway..."
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the cat asked all his friends and neighbors to join him for a peanut butter sandwich and a popular British word game, since the TV was on the fritz. All was going well until...
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...somebody opened the fridge and found a pool of blood inside....
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and, expecting something macabre, I was not shocked to see...
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Or, should I say, it was some sort of Halloween gizmo that was meant to frighten people. At least, that's what I told myself while slamming the fridge door shut.
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I rejoined my friends in their costumes in the living room. Cat, genie, magician, gypsy king... they sure had vivid imaginations! "Nearly time to head out trick-or-treating!" I announced.
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-Everyone is entitled to my opinion-
The idea was agreeable to everyone, and the thought of all the candy that would soon be ours was enticing. As we headed out, someone noticed...
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....a santa sack, so we took that along with us as our treat bag. As we happily kicked our way through the fall leaves...
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...there came a muffled cry from inside the bag. We hurriedly opened it and were horrified to find
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-Everyone is entitled to my opinion-
...a pint-sized version of the Cat, which had obviously been disturbed from its slumbers. It blinked innocent blue eyes at us and yawned in a ravenous way, flexing tiny needle-sharp claws. I looked around nervously for the mother...
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but she was nowhere to be found. So, we took the kitten along with us. As our eclectic group rounded a corner, we ran straight into a gang of thieves. They flourished their knives and...
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Cried "Trick or treat!" Ah, very funny guys. The revellers continued on their merry way. Suddenly, I realised
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-Everyone is entitled to my opinion-
... we were nearly at the first house. There was a lit pumpkin on their doorstep, and...
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I cried, "That pumpkin is on fire!!! Quick, put it out!" But even as we ran for the hose, the flames were taking hold...
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-Everyone is entitled to my opinion-
By the time we had located a hose, then an outdoor tap, unrolled the hose, dragged it across (untangling it from every rose bush and shrub that grabbed onto it on the way), it was too late. The fire had died out naturally, and the ruins of the pumpkin were sad to see. Its roof had fallen in and it was totally, completely gutted. We stood in a mournful semi-circle for a while, then rang the doorbell. After a little while we heard a slow, shuffling...
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And a tattered and rather sooty old man opened the door (which promptly crumbled into ash). "Trick or treat!" I cried merrily, holding out my goody bag.
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-Everyone is entitled to my opinion-
He handed my an apple, which I found disappointing and...
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rather hot and crisp. And black. Still, not wanting to appear ungrateful, I...
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-Everyone is entitled to my opinion-
...popped it in the Santa sack. We headed off to the next house, which was also a pile of ashes. Nobody seemed to be home. Our trick or treating had been a total catastrophe so far, and my hitherto happy mood turned as black as the apple. Luckily, the third house was still untouched by fire, and when we knocked on the door...
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...it creaked open slowly. The hallway leading inside was unlit. I peered inside, nervously. "Should we go in?"
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-Everyone is entitled to my opinion-
(How did I even get into the story??)
Quickly, Sam ran out the back door as the others lingered in the hall. Suddenly all the doors slammed shut leaving the cowardly slow coaches trapped inside! Well, serves them right, really.
Quickly, Sam ran out the back door as the others lingered in the hall. Suddenly all the doors slammed shut leaving the cowardly slow coaches trapped inside! Well, serves them right, really.
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-Everyone is entitled to my opinion-
A litany of cries could be heard..."Sam, Sam, Sam!!!!!!"
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Cheered on by my compatriots, I bravely rushed on to collect candy from the rest of the houses in the street. Meanwhile back in the creepy house...
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-Everyone is entitled to my opinion-
...the gypsy king fell on the floor, cursing. "Something attacked me!"
"That was me, you eejit," growled Cat. "You walked into me with your big fat feet and fell over."
"Sssh," said the genie. "Did you hear something...?"
They stopped to listen...
"That was me, you eejit," growled Cat. "You walked into me with your big fat feet and fell over."
"Sssh," said the genie. "Did you hear something...?"
They stopped to listen...
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but there was silence. "Oh well, guess I imagined it", said the cat, and everyone relaxed...
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-Everyone is entitled to my opinion-
Sam said he would not share!
A small riot broke out as the groups' blood sugar had gotten low from the trials of the night, and they were cranky!
A small riot broke out as the groups' blood sugar had gotten low from the trials of the night, and they were cranky!
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....they battered down the oak front door in order to get at the grinning Sam, who had the Santa Sack full of Wispa bars, Violet Crumble, Terry's Chocolate Oranges, sherbert fountains, Parma Violets, liquorice skipping ropes, cinnamon balls....
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... all covered in the hottest chilli sauce ever conceived, which the mob proceeded to scoff down without stopping to notice the burning sensation that would soon take the lining off their tongues...
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-Everyone is entitled to my opinion-
... if the mob had been angry before, it was nothing to how they were after they had pulled themselves together again. They all set off after Sam, who ran like the blazes and scrambled up the tallest tree he could find....
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(oh Sam is wicked!)
this was not going to end well for a certain person!...
this was not going to end well for a certain person!...
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Sam jumps from the tree to the roof of a nearby building and was off and out of sight. Meanwhile, the motley crew decided that maybe it was time to...
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... go home to toffee apples, popcorn, hot chocolate with cinnamon sticks, roasted pumpkin seeds, pretty will o' the wisp lights dotted around dark corners of the house, and... best of all.... a scary film! On the way home, past various houses inexplicably gutted by fire, they mildly bickered about which DVD to watch. Would it be Carry On Screaming, perhaps? Or The Mask, starring Jim Carrey? Some of the guests held out for Babar, or maybe Happy Feet, but others said if they chose Happy Feet, they were leaving. When they got home, however...
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... they found a large hole in the roof and a huge pile of empty wrappers on the couch...
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-Everyone is entitled to my opinion-
...and the genie clapped his hand to his mouth. "I forgot about the magic beans," he said...
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which would mean an unpleasant surprise for whomever had just consumed them...
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-Everyone is entitled to my opinion-
As he looked up through the hole in the roof, a gigantic little girl stooped and peered in at the room she had just vacated. "Is there a cake in there?" she asked. "One with a note saying "eat me? I need to get smaller again."
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There wasn't though, so she just ate the people instead.
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-Everyone is entitled to my opinion-
a group of alternate life forms were planning an insurrection against their oppressive government...
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"Sarah stumbled back into consciousness, thin shards of moonlight pierced the darkened room she found herself in and the sharp copper taste of blood filled her mouth..."