The concept here, long time exposure at night is an effective one. The picture suffers from having too many subjects distracting the eye, and I think a landscape format would have been better, maximising the streak of the lights.
-ve: Landscape vs portrait? - I agree that landscape would give you an edge, especially if you cropped to the central third of the image.
+ve: Great subject idea, things seen and unseen in an ordinary world.