Q: What does HMO stand for"
A: This is actually a variation of the phrase, " HEY MOE". It's roots go back to a concept pioneered by Moe of the Three Stooges, who discovered that a patient could be made to forget about the pain in his foot if he was poked hard enough in the eye.
Q: I just signed up for the Medical Insurance. How difficult will it be to choose a doctor that I want?
A: Just slightly more difficult than choosing your parents. Your insurere will provide you with a book listing all the doctors in the plan. These doctors basically fall into two catagories-those who are no longer accepting new patients and those who will see you but are no longer participating in the plan. But don't worry, the remaining doctor is still in the plan and accepting new patients but he has an office a half days drive away. His diploma is also from a Third World country.
Q: Do all diagnostic procedures require pre-authorization?
A: No. Only those that will help you.
Q: Can I get coverage for my pre-existing condition?
A: Certainly, as long as they don't require treatment.
Q: What happens if I want to try alternative forms of medicine?
A: You'l need to find alternative forms of payment.
Q: My pharmacy plan only covers generic drugs but I need the name brand. Generic medicine makes me sick. What should I do?
A: Poke yourself in the eye and distract yourself from the pain.
Q: What it I am away from home and I get sick?
A: You should come home quickly.
Q: I think I need a specialist but my doctor insists he can handle my problem. Can a general practitioner really perform a heart transplant right in his office?
A: Hard to say, but considering that all you're risking is the 20.00 copayment, theres no harm in giving it a shot.
Q: WIll health care be different in the next century?
A: No but if you call right now, you may get an appointment by then.
HMO FRUSTRATIONS
A: This is actually a variation of the phrase, " HEY MOE". It's roots go back to a concept pioneered by Moe of the Three Stooges, who discovered that a patient could be made to forget about the pain in his foot if he was poked hard enough in the eye.
Q: I just signed up for the Medical Insurance. How difficult will it be to choose a doctor that I want?
A: Just slightly more difficult than choosing your parents. Your insurere will provide you with a book listing all the doctors in the plan. These doctors basically fall into two catagories-those who are no longer accepting new patients and those who will see you but are no longer participating in the plan. But don't worry, the remaining doctor is still in the plan and accepting new patients but he has an office a half days drive away. His diploma is also from a Third World country.
Q: Do all diagnostic procedures require pre-authorization?
A: No. Only those that will help you.
Q: Can I get coverage for my pre-existing condition?
A: Certainly, as long as they don't require treatment.
Q: What happens if I want to try alternative forms of medicine?
A: You'l need to find alternative forms of payment.
Q: My pharmacy plan only covers generic drugs but I need the name brand. Generic medicine makes me sick. What should I do?
A: Poke yourself in the eye and distract yourself from the pain.
Q: What it I am away from home and I get sick?
A: You should come home quickly.
Q: I think I need a specialist but my doctor insists he can handle my problem. Can a general practitioner really perform a heart transplant right in his office?
A: Hard to say, but considering that all you're risking is the 20.00 copayment, theres no harm in giving it a shot.
Q: WIll health care be different in the next century?
A: No but if you call right now, you may get an appointment by then.
HMO FRUSTRATIONS