Q: What does HMO stand for"
A: This is actually a variation of the phrase, " HEY MOE". It's roots go back to a concept pioneered by Moe of the Three Stooges, who discovered that a patient could be made to forget about the pain in his foot if he was poked hard enough in the eye.

Q: I just signed up for the Medical Insurance. How difficult will it be to choose a doctor that I want?
A: Just slightly more difficult than choosing your parents. Your insurere will provide you with a book listing all the doctors in the plan. These doctors basically fall into two catagories-those who are no longer accepting new patients and those who will see you but are no longer participating in the plan. But don't worry, the remaining doctor is still in the plan and accepting new patients but he has an office a half days drive away. His diploma is also from a Third World country.

Q: Do all diagnostic procedures require pre-authorization?
A: No. Only those that will help you.

Q: Can I get coverage for my pre-existing condition?
A: Certainly, as long as they don't require treatment.

Q: What happens if I want to try alternative forms of medicine?
A: You'l need to find alternative forms of payment.

Q: My pharmacy plan only covers generic drugs but I need the name brand. Generic medicine makes me sick. What should I do?

A: Poke yourself in the eye and distract yourself from the pain.

Q: What it I am away from home and I get sick?
A: You should come home quickly.

Q: I think I need a specialist but my doctor insists he can handle my problem. Can a general practitioner really perform a heart transplant right in his office?
A: Hard to say, but considering that all you're risking is the 20.00 copayment, theres no harm in giving it a shot.

Q: WIll health care be different in the next century?
A: No but if you call right now, you may get an appointment by then.
HMO FRUSTRATIONS

So it would appear health services are the same the world over after all.....

I thought where you are there is government sponsored health care?

you'd think so wouldnt you but our 'free health service' is getting increasingly expensive. since I went into hospital in december last year I've had to shell out almost $350 in prescription charges trying to clear up a staph infection I contracted whilst in hospital. Why the hell should I have to pay for that - it beggars belief. The private sector is slightly better but all the clauses about prediagnosed treatments you mentioned apply here as well.

So phile your saying you have to pay for your free medical? Now what part of free medical do they get in the UK. A slap on the but when your born. The only time you get free medical here is if you are a politician, pour or an eligal alien. Other wise we don't get diddaly.

Remember, there's no such thing as a free lunch. My Ex is a Swede, and although medical services are provided to all Swedish citizens, all you have to do is check out their taxation to see it really isn't "free" at all.

Clayton - yes the slapped butt is probably free but thats about it :-) these days you get a bill for most things including emergency ambulance call outs (unless you die enroute and then the relatives get that one), medicines that you need following surgery and sometimes before if they are preventative to try and stop you catching something nasty when you set foot over the hospital threshold. I wouldnt mind the paying for it bit if it wasnt for the fact every adult in the country already does through taxation and mandatory insurance contributions so in effect your paying for the same poor service twice.

Yep sound like the USA, We apy taxes for all of the other people to have medical. encluding every person who crosses the boarder regardless if the are legal or not. Hell Phile they can't even ask them if they are a USA resident any more do to the fact thet it is politicaly incorrect and raciest.

You Know Tracy I would be very willing to pay a few more bucks if it meant that even the poor can get free medical. After all it says we the people for the people. At last time I looked it did. Or have they changed the words to we the rich for the rich.

In Calif. you have to have a child under 21 in the home and have no other insurance. The federal poverty levels havent been changed in years. 2 people its 750.00, 3 935.00 and 4-1100.00 that means any income for those many people over that figure is a share of cost as they use gross wages and do not consider any of your expenses or obligations.