It's different. Not my favorite. If you sincerely didn't like it yourself, why post it?, I think if you could brighten up the right side a little it would help. I'm not sure what effect you're looking for though.
Was asked to comment on this, sorry, but no idea what you were going for here, actually looks like a good start, but, sorry, doesn't do anything for me right now.
Feel encouraged my friend. It is always a good thing to experiment and launch out into some uncharted territory. The very important thing is to enjoy what you are doing while you are doing it. It is interesting on many points. I encourage you to add effects and such. Thanks for sharing.