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Discussion Board -> Off Topic -> Stupid Things I Have Survived Doing to Myself
Stupid Things I Have Survived Doing to Myself
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I learned not to play w/knives, when I was around 8 I think, I completely opened the webbing between my thumb and index finger on my right hand all the way 2 inches up towards my wrist...it was a bloody disaster :(
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Andrew VS. Jerry in Glare Wars...who'll win!?
I learned, among other things, you really shouldn't lie to your kids. Years ago, when our kids were little we moved & took our remaining cats to a cat shelter. When asked where Blackberry was, a pretty black & white cat, we told our 6 year old daughter she ran away from the stress of the move.
A couple months later Desiree came running in the house, overjoyed. " Mommy ! Mommy ! Blackberry 's home " Well, I was amazed. So out the door we go to see a completely different black & white cat, but with similar markings.
So I sit down in the grass, coax the cat over, am holding it in my lap & when the neighbors kids see us & come running, screaming happily & yelping all the way.
That cat went nuts & clawed & bit me all up & down my left arm before making it's Instigating The Great Cat Hunt, which was oddly successful & unsuccessful. We had to find that cat because that year there was a bad problem with Rabies in the county. so my hubby & a couple neighbors went out & tracked it down to send to Ohio State for testing. Sadly, the guys brought back the wrong cat. The wrong dead cat.
So I ended up having to get the Rabies Serum.......that according to the C.D.C. no one is allergic to ......
Guess what......All for a lie to a 6 year old ......
A couple months later Desiree came running in the house, overjoyed. " Mommy ! Mommy ! Blackberry 's home " Well, I was amazed. So out the door we go to see a completely different black & white cat, but with similar markings.
So I sit down in the grass, coax the cat over, am holding it in my lap & when the neighbors kids see us & come running, screaming happily & yelping all the way.
That cat went nuts & clawed & bit me all up & down my left arm before making it's Instigating The Great Cat Hunt, which was oddly successful & unsuccessful. We had to find that cat because that year there was a bad problem with Rabies in the county. so my hubby & a couple neighbors went out & tracked it down to send to Ohio State for testing. Sadly, the guys brought back the wrong cat. The wrong dead cat.
So I ended up having to get the Rabies Serum.......that according to the C.D.C. no one is allergic to ......
Guess what......All for a lie to a 6 year old ......
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Ask Not For Whom The Bell Tolls .......Let The Machine Get It ........
MY GALLERY
Hmm, didnt your mother ever tell you NOT to lie...to anybody? I try hard not to, doent work so well all the time tho.
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Yeah...SCHOOLS OUT!
I've learned to look where i'm walking or running... a few years ago.. when the kids were little they were in a kids youth group, they had to be at a place by a certain time for a concert they were doing, my son was playing up as usual so we were running late.. parked the car in the carpark.. yelling at them to hurry up.. was running forgot that there was a wood fence thingy (only had a bar on the top) had my head turned yelling at my son to move, turned to face the front ... BANG!!!!!! wacked my head straight into the top bar of the fence.. hit it that hard that my glasses were thrown off my head behind me.. i was on the ground.. my so called best friend killing herself laughing on the verandah.. got up.. had a massive headache and the imprint of the fence in my forehead.... hmmmm maybe that explains why I think the way I do sometimes.. or forget things.. LOL
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"A sense of humour is as important to life as shock absorbers to a car.. It helps us over the bumps im life" / P.K. Shaw
Well as you all know...I am the epitome of grace.
I shattered my left arm/wrist/hand by falling out of my flip flops. Yes, you heard me...FLIP FLOPS.
I have walked into god-knows-how-many doors, walls, low hanging things...by being preoccupied turning around and BAM...shiner city
I have sprained my ankle more times than I can count by stepping into potholes or on uneven cement, holes in my yard...you name it
It is a miracle that I have fingers with all the times I have sliced open my fingers/hand while making dinner
Oh, and for those of you who aren't already laughing so hard you're about to wet yourself...I give my cats baths. I get allergic reactions to flea bites, so in the spring/summer my cats all get baths...and I don't think I need to tell you what sort of injuries I have received from THAT
I shattered my left arm/wrist/hand by falling out of my flip flops. Yes, you heard me...FLIP FLOPS.
I have walked into god-knows-how-many doors, walls, low hanging things...by being preoccupied turning around and BAM...shiner city
I have sprained my ankle more times than I can count by stepping into potholes or on uneven cement, holes in my yard...you name it
It is a miracle that I have fingers with all the times I have sliced open my fingers/hand while making dinner
Oh, and for those of you who aren't already laughing so hard you're about to wet yourself...I give my cats baths. I get allergic reactions to flea bites, so in the spring/summer my cats all get baths...and I don't think I need to tell you what sort of injuries I have received from THAT
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Look to the Future, Remeber the Past, but Live in the Present, and Never forget to tell those you love "I Love You", you may not get another chance.
Razor blades... When I was a wee lad, I got into my dads razor blades. You know, the old fashioned ones, where you had to put the blade into it? Well, I found the little container that they came in and figured out how to get them out. I really had no concept of how sharp they really were... and got a good lesson, when I was trying to put them back into their littls box thingie.
To this day, I hate the idea of touching one. :o(
To this day, I hate the idea of touching one. :o(
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Badger, Badger, Badger...
*shudders* I hate razor blades and I never even had to get cut by one (unless I have a repressed memory deep in my subconcious somewhere...)
I think I already posted this somewhere, but I put an axe through my foot when I was about 11. The thing I regretted most is that I had to miss a performance that I had been rehearsing for months.
I think I already posted this somewhere, but I put an axe through my foot when I was about 11. The thing I regretted most is that I had to miss a performance that I had been rehearsing for months.
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-Everyone is entitled to my opinion- rescope.com.au
That's all your going to say ? Jeez Sam ! I go into chapter & verse & that's all we get from you ? Flesh it out son, flesh it out !
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Ask Not For Whom The Bell Tolls .......Let The Machine Get It ........
MY GALLERY
I .. uh .. stuck my finger in a fan when I was, maybe, 2 .. it hurted
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oh yeah… I've been hit by the razor blade too! accidentally sliced my thumbnail open about age 9ish. if you press hard, you can still see a faint line under the nail. 8•(
and yeah… expand Sam. WE haven't heard the story yet, we need to know what we're gonna point & laugh @!
and yeah… expand Sam. WE haven't heard the story yet, we need to know what we're gonna point & laugh @!
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One man sees things and says "why?", but I dream things that never were and say "why not?"
There's not much more to it... I was chopping something up on the ground and I missed and put the axe through my foot instead. Went to the hospital and got some stitches and spent the next few weeks hopping everywhere (my mother wouldn't let me get crutches, which I was SO upset about... for some reason at that age I thought they were cool). I didn't use an axe for a long time after that.
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-Everyone is entitled to my opinion- rescope.com.au
Let's just say, I made it through my childhood with a grand total of just over 100 stitches received from various self-inflicted mishaps at different times (but never any broken bones). Like the saying goes, 'If you are going to be stupid, you gotta be tough.'
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The work of art may have a moral effect, but to demand moral purpose from an artist is to make him ruin his work.
(Johann Wolfgang von Goethe - 1832)
*starts counting*
5 stitches in hand from attempting to cut a stale baguette
8 stitches in side of head from getting hit by a metal swing
10 stitches in back of head from that trip off the end of the bunkbed
ok… made it out of childhood w/a grand total of 23
since then…
20 something from surgery on right leg
8 in ankle after surgery due to having broken me other leg
so 28 there
making a lifetime total of approximately 51! nanny nanny boo boo! (my stupidity doesn't leave permanent reminders! 8•P)
*pats self on back*
*calls chiropracter*
5 stitches in hand from attempting to cut a stale baguette
8 stitches in side of head from getting hit by a metal swing
10 stitches in back of head from that trip off the end of the bunkbed
ok… made it out of childhood w/a grand total of 23
since then…
20 something from surgery on right leg
8 in ankle after surgery due to having broken me other leg
so 28 there
making a lifetime total of approximately 51! nanny nanny boo boo! (my stupidity doesn't leave permanent reminders! 8•P)
*pats self on back*
*calls chiropracter*
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One man sees things and says "why?", but I dream things that never were and say "why not?"
When I was 15, I was showing off in the back-yard....doing acrobatics on a T-bar of a clothes-line. I swung up and turned midair to grab the bar again, and Voila' hand landed on a nice rusty nail/screw thingie...and it went straight thru my hand palm first and out the top { left hand}. I was actually IMPALED and could barely touch the ground...and had to stand with hand impaled on one tippy toe till a neighbor lady could find some guy walking by to help pull my hand up and away....
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The Voting Booth is your friend..........:)
ouch..that musta hurt...btw ive never had stitches (cant spell it). Ive had "staples" in my head once, for about a month i think. I was running with a toy and hit an open drawer right in my head.
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Yeah...SCHOOLS OUT!
My attempt at being a bit 'clever' was when I was showing off to some girl friends when 17, I tried to do a bit of 'Fire-eating' you know blowing a huge flame our of yer gob!....I did that all right...but the 'spray backfired and set fire to my hair and tiny beard?....I had to quickly put my head into a 'fire bucket' A water one, not sand???
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** To all my dear friends, I will be missing from Caedes, from the 24th June...touring and vacationing!.....Will miss you all...but will have great 'goodies' for you when I return!!!**
Bob, showing off in front of girls is the cause of @ 80% of teenage male injuries. :cP
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The work of art may have a moral effect, but to demand moral purpose from an artist is to make him ruin his work.
(Johann Wolfgang von Goethe - 1832)
Let's see.
Never lean against a crappy built pilar: Results in a broken bone (I must have been 5 or so at the time and the pilar actually fell on me. Can't remember it though.).
Beware of bikes: Multiple mishaps here. Swerving into thorn bushes to avoid a cat.
Head on collision with the back of another bike followed by a samersault onto a tar road. (Alot of scratches and blood, but nothing broken). Falling off a bike at high speed and fracturing my arm.
Thinking back it's a wonder I made it past 12!
Never lean against a crappy built pilar: Results in a broken bone (I must have been 5 or so at the time and the pilar actually fell on me. Can't remember it though.).
Beware of bikes: Multiple mishaps here. Swerving into thorn bushes to avoid a cat.
Head on collision with the back of another bike followed by a samersault onto a tar road. (Alot of scratches and blood, but nothing broken). Falling off a bike at high speed and fracturing my arm.
Thinking back it's a wonder I made it past 12!
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I know that NOW Tom......Your icon just brought back my 'memories'...Aah those were the days?
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** To all my dear friends, I will be missing from Caedes, from the 24th June...touring and vacationing!.....Will miss you all...but will have great 'goodies' for you when I return!!!**
Noah...you spelled stitches right & I've got staples in my head right now from my collision with a sawed off branch of a crab apple tree in my front yard on Tuesday night. It landed me in the ER & it was what started my discussion with Cat that led to this thread.
Never ever EVER believe the doctors when they say " Here you go, just a little shot & you won't feel a thing " .....I felt it ALL ....
Never ever EVER believe the doctors when they say " Here you go, just a little shot & you won't feel a thing " .....I felt it ALL ....
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Ask Not For Whom The Bell Tolls .......Let The Machine Get It ........
MY GALLERY
I had exactly the same Lauren, but it was my butt that got it? was pushed backwards onto a spike?????The docs and Nurses thought it was hilarious trying to stitch and staple the pieces together....BOY! did it hurt!..and....and ....I could'nt sit properly for some time......
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** To all my dear friends, I will be missing from Caedes, from the 24th June...touring and vacationing!.....Will miss you all...but will have great 'goodies' for you when I return!!!**
My deepest sympathies Bob, I've still got a headache
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Ask Not For Whom The Bell Tolls .......Let The Machine Get It ........
MY GALLERY
Lauren's new nickname is .. chittychittybangbang ... or CCBB for short
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Hmm...When I was younger I had to get stitches on my ear because I fell on my parent's waterbed.
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In the Beginning God created the heavens and the earth. - Genesis 1:1
- Timothy J. Warren | http://timshomepage.co.nr |
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Going back to teenage male injuries...
as the story goes...
From my husband directly::
I was 16 tryin' to be the Macho man that I was.(insert laugh) trying to impress the pastors daughter. I was in track and pretty good at the long jump. So I ran down a sidewalk jumped 4 stairs, a sidewalk and a street about 20 feet from curb to curb. I did the long-jump tuck but landed short and hit the far curb feet straight out in front of me. To take the pressure my right knee bent 90 degrees to the right and I kicked my self in the butt literally. I tore my ACL and 3 tendons. She didn't even notice. I think thats what angered me the most.
as the story goes...
From my husband directly::
I was 16 tryin' to be the Macho man that I was.(insert laugh) trying to impress the pastors daughter. I was in track and pretty good at the long jump. So I ran down a sidewalk jumped 4 stairs, a sidewalk and a street about 20 feet from curb to curb. I did the long-jump tuck but landed short and hit the far curb feet straight out in front of me. To take the pressure my right knee bent 90 degrees to the right and I kicked my self in the butt literally. I tore my ACL and 3 tendons. She didn't even notice. I think thats what angered me the most.
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Look to the Future, Remeber the Past, but Live in the Present, and Never forget to tell those you love "I Love You", you may not get another chance.
I've learned in my younger days.. lol.. not to hit the front brake of bicycle, throws you over the handle bars and knocks you out .. and... never ever ride down a hill without brakes on a bike, you end up with broken bones.. (yep i tested that one)..
and one from my daughter.. when you get out of a car.. dont walk while waving to people in the car cos you never know when a sign posts will pop up and knock you out.. lol.. yep she did that one a few years ago.. was waving to me in the car while walking walked smack bang into a sign post, knocked herself out, ended up at the hospital, she was not impressed when the dr asked her what happend he had a good laugh then he turned around and asked if i had video'd it so that we could send it in to funniest home videos...
and one from my daughter.. when you get out of a car.. dont walk while waving to people in the car cos you never know when a sign posts will pop up and knock you out.. lol.. yep she did that one a few years ago.. was waving to me in the car while walking walked smack bang into a sign post, knocked herself out, ended up at the hospital, she was not impressed when the dr asked her what happend he had a good laugh then he turned around and asked if i had video'd it so that we could send it in to funniest home videos...
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MY GALLERY
........... "A sense of humour is as important to life as shock absorbers to a car.. It helps us over the bumps im life" / P.K. Shaw
heheh, that reminds me....
Playing frizbee and running over the fire hydrant. That sure is on low blow... *ugh... crosses legs*
Playing frizbee and running over the fire hydrant. That sure is on low blow... *ugh... crosses legs*
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Badger, Badger, Badger...
hey… look… we're fashionable round here w/this thread… tonite on TLC… 9 pm est… 99 Most Bizarre Self-Inflicted Injuries.
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One man sees things and says "why?", but I dream things that never were and say "why not?"
College is out and my friends and I decide to celebrate by having a friendly Halo match. We queue up the Xbox and drag out all the necessary cables.
Friend 1: "Dude you suck, you picked the top screen."
Me: "Not my fault you're slow"
***3 min interval***
Friend 1: "That was a cheap shot. I wasn't ready!"
Me: "You had a ROCKET LAUNCHER!"
Friend 1: "So?"
***1 minute later***
Me: "OW! What did you do that for?"
Friend 1: "Because you're a dirty little cheater."
Me: "I head-shooted you fair and square." (Yes, I said shooted.)
Friend 1: "Lies!"
Me: "That's it! I'm sick of you!"
***full out brawl ensues. Friend 2 who had also been playing as well but had until recently remained quiet finally gets up and breaks up the fight.***
Friend 2: "Who wants beer?"
***This is invariably the demise of any fight between any of us, so we settle down and drink heavily. It doesn't take a genius to figure out it all goes downhill from here. After no less than 10 minutes another fight breaks out over something stupid. I think I was the propagator that time. I suffer a sprained wrist, and Friend 1 suffers "A popping sensation whenever I breathe." It should be noted that we're all OK guys when were not playing halo or heavily inebriated. Unfortunately for the both of us both happened in the course of one night.
Friend 1: "Dude you suck, you picked the top screen."
Me: "Not my fault you're slow"
***3 min interval***
Friend 1: "That was a cheap shot. I wasn't ready!"
Me: "You had a ROCKET LAUNCHER!"
Friend 1: "So?"
***1 minute later***
Me: "OW! What did you do that for?"
Friend 1: "Because you're a dirty little cheater."
Me: "I head-shooted you fair and square." (Yes, I said shooted.)
Friend 1: "Lies!"
Me: "That's it! I'm sick of you!"
***full out brawl ensues. Friend 2 who had also been playing as well but had until recently remained quiet finally gets up and breaks up the fight.***
Friend 2: "Who wants beer?"
***This is invariably the demise of any fight between any of us, so we settle down and drink heavily. It doesn't take a genius to figure out it all goes downhill from here. After no less than 10 minutes another fight breaks out over something stupid. I think I was the propagator that time. I suffer a sprained wrist, and Friend 1 suffers "A popping sensation whenever I breathe." It should be noted that we're all OK guys when were not playing halo or heavily inebriated. Unfortunately for the both of us both happened in the course of one night.
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There are only 10 types of people in this world...Those that understand binary and those that don't
I miss my XBOX *cries*
i remember the good times
halo
the everything else
the conversations
*cries*
i remember the good times
halo
the everything else
the conversations
*cries*
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Andrew VS. Jerry in Glare Wars...who'll win!?
Riding the bicycle theme ? I learned that if you ride really fast, & look back over your shoulder at someone .... when you hit a parked car in the hood you'll go flying over the car & land behind it in the gravel & get gravel imbedded in your knees & have the scar for years.
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Ask Not For Whom The Bell Tolls .......Let The Machine Get It ........
MY GALLERY
lol. my other younger sister… the one who hasn't appeared here yet… would like to enter the following incident for consideration.
Attempting a scientific experiment to see how slowly she could ride her bike w/out falling over… she fell over… and has a lovely scar in one eyebrow to remind her 8•P
Attempting a scientific experiment to see how slowly she could ride her bike w/out falling over… she fell over… and has a lovely scar in one eyebrow to remind her 8•P
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One man sees things and says "why?", but I dream things that never were and say "why not?"
Bicycles and I have a pact...I won't ride them, they won't throw me over the handlebars
Mind you, I have had a good 20+ bike related injuries before figuring out to avoid bikes
Mind you, I have had a good 20+ bike related injuries before figuring out to avoid bikes
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Look to the Future, Remeber the Past, but Live in the Present, and Never forget to tell those you love "I Love You", you may not get another chance.
Speaking of sisters, when we were kids my sister & some friends decided to see who could jump off the highest step going up to the attic. We lived in a developement & all the stairs going to the attic were over the concrete slab floor of the garages. So, later that afternoon as we sitting in the doctor's office getting my sister's arm set because she managed to break her elbow in 3 places we all heard her say indignantly to my mother who had just yelled at her for being & doing a stupid kid thing ......." But I won ! "
Apparently that was the more important fact ... :o)
Apparently that was the more important fact ... :o)
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Ask Not For Whom The Bell Tolls .......Let The Machine Get It ........
MY GALLERY
Thanks for reminding me Lauren...
When I was a teen and my sis was about 5, she had REALLY pissed me off...and I was chasing her around the house so that I could throw her in the bathroom and lock her in...well she ran to the front door, and in reaching out to close the front door, I put my hand through the window and sliced the hell outta my wrist and forearm...and I'm a bleeder, my mom was still at work...
So I ran next door to our neighbor who was a coroner to patch me up!
When I was a teen and my sis was about 5, she had REALLY pissed me off...and I was chasing her around the house so that I could throw her in the bathroom and lock her in...well she ran to the front door, and in reaching out to close the front door, I put my hand through the window and sliced the hell outta my wrist and forearm...and I'm a bleeder, my mom was still at work...
So I ran next door to our neighbor who was a coroner to patch me up!
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Look to the Future, Remeber the Past, but Live in the Present, and Never forget to tell those you love "I Love You", you may not get another chance.
SMURF SOLIDARITY
One stupid thing I have survied doing to myself was eating SPAM!! Could've killed myself!
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Andrew VS. Jerry in Glare Wars...who'll win!?
SPAM WILL SAVE YOUR LIFE ONE DAY
Few things can survive a nuclear explosion, be thankful for SPAM
SMURF SOLIDARITY
Few things can survive a nuclear explosion, be thankful for SPAM
SMURF SOLIDARITY
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Look to the Future, Remeber the Past, but Live in the Present, and Never forget to tell those you love "I Love You", you may not get another chance.
SMURF SOLIDARITY
well umm...
Twinkies can survive a nuclear explosion...thank god for family guy or i wouldn't have EVER known that
Twinkies can survive a nuclear explosion...thank god for family guy or i wouldn't have EVER known that
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Andrew VS. Jerry in Glare Wars...who'll win!?
And cockroaches ....you'll never be alone
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Ask Not For Whom The Bell Tolls .......Let The Machine Get It ........
MY GALLERY
yeah but most ppl don't die in nuclear explosions
you body turns into purple tentacles...and your head stays as is
you body turns into purple tentacles...and your head stays as is
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Andrew VS. Jerry in Glare Wars...who'll win!?
but when they do.. they are just shadows of their former selves.. :oP
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Badger, Badger, Badger...
I learned when I was 5ish that I shouldn't run on pool decks...I guess the signs that said no running on the pool deck were up for a reason. I ended up with 3 stitches right beside my eye.
I also learned I should not carry more than 4 bricks at a time...About 3 summers ago we were renovation our backyard and we had to relocate some bricks. Since I wanted to get it over with, I started to carry more bricks. I carried 4 and dropped one of them on my big toe..Which broke!
I also learned I should not carry more than 4 bricks at a time...About 3 summers ago we were renovation our backyard and we had to relocate some bricks. Since I wanted to get it over with, I started to carry more bricks. I carried 4 and dropped one of them on my big toe..Which broke!
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Joga Bonito
Check this out!
LOL to the last one LOL you broke a toe LOL ;P that's so funny idk why lol ;P
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Andrew VS. Jerry in Glare Wars...who'll win!?
hey, i broke a toe...did a handstand at 13 or so...fell back down and my foot hit the cable reel/ coffee table ..OUCH
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ouch lol
I've survived riding my bike into a fence and almost falling into the ocean on the other side, yes the ocean and it was rocky too...I was like 7 and it was very traumatic for such a young boy ;P
I've survived riding my bike into a fence and almost falling into the ocean on the other side, yes the ocean and it was rocky too...I was like 7 and it was very traumatic for such a young boy ;P
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"_"
Some friends and I use to have this trick, where we would hang off the back of our bike while riding them, so our butts were over the back tire. Fun times, until you fell off and onto the tire.
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Like, there is the "Smurf Solidarity" thing going on... and I thought... GAWD I should join... It's like.. totaly fabulous
Me start - Gymnastics on the top bunk of my bed when I was about 10ish. The somersault straight off the end head down on to the air conditioner sitting on the floor waiting to be put back in the window. One panicked mother and a trip to the emergency room to stitch up the back of my head later… yes… I learned my lesson.
Now it's your turn… SHARE!