Poor Les seems to be inundated at work and can't seem to find the time to yak or yuk it up .. to blah-blah or bling-bling with the rest of us ... so .. in 50,000 words or less take this opportunity to send a heartfelt pat-on-the-back or shrewdly veiled poke-in-the-ribs (as we all know, he'll appreciate)

I'll start ..

01) .. Les .. we don't care that you can't fractal to save your soul .. or that you don't possess the strength to depress the shutter button on a disposable camera .. we will all donate art to your gallery .. just tell us the ones you'd like

02) .. Les .. nobody Freudian slips like you do .. even when stepping on a Freudian banana peel in a Freudvillian stageplay ..

03) .. Les .. if the snack bar has told you that they don't have enough popcorn for a MEGA-LARGE, and that you'll have to wait ... settle for a small, and come back to the movie .. the cartoons are almost over

04) .. Les ... I realize the sign on the door says Open 8am to 5pm .. but it's an old sign .. we've been open as late as 2am when the cops showed up and made us leave

05) .. Les .. I've searched the rosters of all the Canadian Prisons I can think of and your name is not on any of the lists .. though I do, now, have a longer pen-pal list than I used to .. but, should you run afoul of the law, I've asked that a computer with internet access be placed in your cell .. it's just that you'll have a few cellmates, as well

06) .. Les .. an East-West route has been charted across the frozen north .. your buddies were just joking when they said it has yet to be done ... and the wheel has been designed as well .. so keep an ear tuned for THAT lie .. and know who your real friends are ..

to be continued ...

*flies in with a large platefull of peanut butter fudge cookies*

I trust you left one of those espresso thingies for me. Oh yeah, welcome back Les!

Wow ... I am rusty ... thank you Mary for the welcome back.

(You too Gemma ... although it would appear that you are busy with having some 'Sex on the Beach' atm. :oP)

And ya know ... cat-sitting duties of some time ago, earned me a bounty of fudge that was to die for. First time I ever had peanut butter fudge. Was goo oo oo ood.

So, of course ... I'll trade you one espresso brownie for on.. *cough cough* ... excuse me, something stuck in me throat ... I'll trade you one espresso brownie for three peanut butter fudge cookies. :oD

p.s. See you in your gallery soon, looking forward to it. :o)

I still maintain you weren't supposed to actually SIT on me. Gimme some cookies and I won't tell anyone.

/\ She was the one that actually requested said sitting. /\

It upped my rates considerably. Normally I don't get into that kind of stuff. Usually it's just change the water, fill up the dry mix ... scoop out the litter bo.. uhm, best stop there, methinks.

Wouldn't want you all to get a visual of me doing that for Cat, now would I? :oP

That was sit AWAY from me, not ON me. Do you have any idea how hard it is to get crumbs out of your fur?

Yes ... *picks hair off of tongue* ... yes, I do.

:oD

Hey everybody! Les sat on Cat and got crumbs all over her fur!

And then he licked them off.... *quivers* 8•P

(*imagines Cat saying .. "You missed a spot" .. repeatedly*)

Did this suddenly get PG? CoC?

chances are good the impropriety exists in YOUR mind


Freud once said .. "sometimes a cigar is just a cigar"

;)

Not just in his mind. Thanks for that Keith. You'll be receiving a package in the post soon, and it won't be cookies, trust me >=]

haha, how did I know that was coming!

I just knew it would come to this... "sugar highs" make people (and Cats) do such int'resting things...

Ooh goody ... Gemma is sending out gifts via the post. :oD

*ponders what will be in his package ... repeatedly ... coughs up a hairball in the process ... repeatedly ... lights a cigar ... once*

I got the cigar lighting thing down.

*Les opens his package... Cat pops out*

O.O

Ooooh ok ... I see now, it says 'pops' ... hehe ... added an extra 'o' in there initially.

*does the sheepish instep shuffle and then ... starts to bust some serious moves ... annnnd ... in the process ... gets pooped out, lies down ... falls blissfully asleep in traffic*

Psssttt!! If I have it right, Gemma should be extremely giddy ... or cranky this morning. Sooo ... reading the word poop in it's various permutations and combinations like pooped ... should either get her giggling like a marmoset on plantain peels or ... wanting to send more packages to me.

Either way, really ... it's a win-win.

I ... think. :o|

*giggles like a marmoset*

But not just any marmoset... the Japanese ninja licking marmoset.

*takes sugar away from Gemma*

*blows whistle*

'K ... everyone outta the pool !!

And no running on the deck please. >:o|

*SPLOOSH*

um. oops. um. i slipped?

LOLOL.

That ... that ... darn Cat!!!

Great, a wet Pussy ... just ... great. >:o|

Look out for when she shakes herself dry.

:oP

p.s. Yeah, I know ... I put myself in timeout. Don't forget and come get me, 'k?

Please stop with the implied sexual references... it's scaring the children...

&KEIFER once said ... "some times ... going swimming directly after eating is not a good idea"

*flurbles*

*flingles and flouches all over the place*

odd. I could swear there was a reference to a drenched feline up there just moments ago ;-)

Yes. Yes there was.

*floobles*

*does a bodyshake* oops? did I get anyone? sorry!

p.s. Gemma, I'm perfectly sure Keith was referring to that spot right under my chin... the one I can't reach.

a marmoset on plantain peels...? a wet what??

I think I took a wrong turn somewhere... back there in LaLaland...

No worries Mary ... just subscribe to the RSS feed I got going.

"The Caedesian Insider".

Good read. I know ... I wrote it.

You'll love this months' political cartoon. I know ... I drew it. And this time ... I used a lot of purple. :oD

Uhm ... I'm lost, could you tell me where I am? :o|

*goes off to corner to chew on a plantain peel ... and look for lice*

:oD

huh? wha'? I'm lost too Les...an RSS feed you say?

Uhm ... pay me no mind for the most part ... I make my stuff up as I go along. :o|

Hmm ... *thinks to himself* ... 'I believe I have next months' main article in the bag' ... **smiles and peels another plantain** ..*

Anyone up for a grooming? Last call ...

Yeah, trying to make sense out of what Mr. Les writes is... well, like chewing on plantain peelings... and... and... *shudders* looking for lice...

Me first!

would that be in the yellow pages near...Bridling ;-)

LOL ... that's the way to do it. Go with the flow.

*starts searching Mary's hair*

ooOOooOOoo .. ooOOooOOoo .. I think ... I think I found one!!

(*the equivalent of a sonic boom collective shudder ... is heard round the threads*)

I bridle at your suggestion, Les, that a lice... make that louse... was found anywhere near me.
Just keep on grooming.

Wow ... we really veered off the path this time.

It's Mary's fault. Allllll her fault. lol

Go ahead, blame it on me, make me the fall-guy. I'm used to it...

But... but... where did the path begin? And where will it end...? OOOooooOOOOooo
A mystery.

*picks up on the trail of cookie crumbs*

I'm on the case ... first, a spot of lunch. I am feeling a bit peaked. :o|

Water cress and egg salad sandwiches, anyone?

*makes mental note to get Deer Stalker steamed*

Cucumber sandwiches, anyone? With or without the crust?

oooooooooooohhhh. :o)

pumpernickel please. with butter.

*drool*

Doorstep size Jam sarnie¿ Huh!

Oh dear... Bob's standing on his head again.

shhhh. we usually just leave him be. maybe he'll spin on his head and break-dance...again ;-)

He better watch out for the plantian peels though, nasty stuff right there, one slip and you'll be walking with the fishes :O

oh crap. they walk?

*gives fish a pair of legs*

They do now.

*cleans out hornpipe*

*gets Deer Stalker back from cleaners*

Now then ... I am off to solve the mystery of the two Charlington bicyclists ...

... ...

... ...

*comes back*

Forgot me lunch. :o|

Has anyone seen that episode of South Park starring the Hardy boys... "Oh my gawd, I'm getting such a clue..."

Nahh, don't watch South Park. :o\

I only watch North Park.

The recurring scene in each episode?

Wherein Jenn allegedly kills 'Kenneyjey the Spammer' ? ... cracks me up everytime. :oD

Now THAT is funny, lol! And you say it's recurring? Even better.

"OMG, they killed Kenneyjey!"

"I love you."

yeah but he's come back again as JeyKenney.. lol

That's ok ... next episode ... Jenn will get him too, lol.

Oh Sod!!...~runs off to buy a new TV!~

(*begins to oil the generator, once more ... de-cobwebs the cookieman light ... puts a pot of coffee on for the champion wheel-rotating hamsters .... tunes the TV to "Kids in the Hall*)


(*begins to hum .. ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ "I'm too bubble'icious for ya baby" ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫

Whoa... Why am I suddenly here??!?! =) I've been working on the server recently to try to speed this thing up some, so you wouldn't have likely seen me around on this side of the site.

And ... I ... uh ... misplaced my bus pass. Took me a while in getting back here. :o\

:oD

I have to take a bus to get to the Caedes offtopics...? Can't I fly in?

oh good, coffee's on and the cookies are free... I'll just take a few dozen.

Oh yeah... Hi Les!

Some times ... I get the impression that Mary is ALLLL about the cookies. :o|

Can't says that I blames her.

:oD

heyyyy, who's da Cookie Monstah around here? Not me...

COOKIE-FIGHT!!!

Les is really nice!!!! I love getting his comments (some are quite, weird and random but I love it!!). I'll give u a big cookie if you come back more. lol

Even better...owd sod will give you a big boxa 'Biscuits' chocky ones at that!!!..no 'cookies' in there!!..

don't overfeed the guy with cookies...;]

yeah, 'donate' the extras to us. Please. ;-))

*leaves behind a plate of some of the excess cookies*

... ...

... ...

Yeah, I know there are only two. THOSE were the excess.

Clearly our definitions of 'excess' differ. :o|

*nods hypnotically to the crowd to induce more cookie giving*

hmmm does Les have an alter ego???? **9 comments up** Les??is that you in disguise?? hmmm??

He believes in that expression, " Les is more"...

Well yeah, what Pat said ... more or 'les's.

:oD

Alter ego? Moi?

Muahahahaaaa ... *cough* *cough* ... ohh ... *cough* ... forgot ... *hack* ... don't ... *deep inhale* ... do evil well. :o\

hmmmm you need to get something for that cough.. lol.. actually I always thought your alter ego was someone else... lmao..

Nahh ... they took the mold that I came out of ... and placed it in an ultra-secret hiding place.

So, that although others would and try to follow ... nay, never duplicated here.

Lucky yous.

:oP

*goes back to mucking about with the servers and thinking on a replacement for the "C" thing ...*

'D-Index? No. E-Index? Not quite there either ...

F-Index??? Hmm, something about that just makes intuitive sense to those that have been exposed to the real one ...'

*makes notation beside that one as a possibility*

:oD

F-Index?? hahahaha i'm sure quite a lot of people call the "C-Index" that already.. lmao

Hmmmm, I think you've come up with something... interesting...

*sneaks in, lays out bait, sneaks out again*



*sneaks back in*
"Just a sliver - he'll never miss it"
*tiptoes out again, gets bowled over by ... *

'Twas a dark and stormy night .. lightning occasionally illuminates the dining room of the antiquated mansion in which 60 of the members of caedes-dot-net have been gathered .. the subtle din of dining chatter is interrupted by a cake fork striking a champagne glass repeatedly ... ding-ding-ding

The host stands and addresses the gathering of pixeleers .. "excuse me, may I have your attention? .. ding-ding-ding ... ladies? gentlemen? ... thank you ... as you know, we have gathered here tonight to celebrate the birthday of one PURMUSIC, or Les .. THE COOKIEMAN, as he is known to the police in his province .. we have consumed copious quantities of cake and champagne .. and there are paramedics standing by for those of you having troubles with that combination ... but, alas, a Les has not graced us at our table .. and we have saved this last corner piece of cake for our guest of honor.

Many of you have come up to me during the course of the meal, asking if you may have the "LAST CORNER PIECE of CAKE" (LCPoC) .. citing a lack of Les in the equation and expressing a desire that the LCPoC not go to waste .. I feel that would send the wrong message "Happy Birthday, oh, sorry, we ate your cake" ... so, PLEASE, no more attempts at cake-napping, there are enough grooves finger-printed into the icing that it barely looks like an offering to a gerbil, let alone our birthday guest of honor .. I do hope you have all washed your hands.

We will wait as long as it tak..... (*suddenly a lightning strike causes the lights to flicker and go out, washing the room in utter blackness*) ... (*Scuffling noises, followed by a loud, blood-curdling, scream is heard*) ... (*when the axillary power generators finally figure out they're supposed to kick on, we are greeted by a scene of 60 forks stuck into the back of +Keifer's hand which is gripping the LCPoC*) ... (*due to champagne and sugar-infused icing, nobody manages to get a postable photo of the event .. and the gripper of the LCPoC denies any involvement while keeping his hand hidden deep in his pocket

The early bird may get the worm .. but the wily and unscrupulous get the LCPoC

definition of irony...

a come back, where are you thread...by a comeback where are you mod >;-)

but yes, it would be nice, evil humor aside, if both of you stuck around...the site is infinitely more interesting with you here

Yes they both made life more interesting when they were around

I ain't sayin' a thing.... however the left pocket of my hoodie sweatshirt feels all sticky... as if the (alleged) LCPoC somehow just sort of fell into me pocket... accidently of course. I hope Mr. Keifer won't mind if I quietly extract my fork from the back of his hand. Good, good... now then...

Happy Birthday to the COOKIEMAN!!! I have saved the LCPoC for you, providing that you show up soon. Very soon...

;-)

Does anyone know anything about Les? His absence this time seems more lengthy than usual and especially notable that he didn't even show up over the holidays. He hasn't logged in since Nov. 9th or responded to an email I sent him several days ago.

If you go back to the start of this thread Les was away from the site for 4 months after it was posted... I presume he must have already been away for a while before that happened so he was gone 5-6 months at least. Maybe he's hibernating??

Hibernating! I thought Canadians went swimming this time of year!

Ohh...He's just hoardin' all those Holiday cookies he got! He'll be back when temptation gets the better of him, and he doesn't have any! (LOL)

Yeah!...prancin' around in his pink furry tutu with a vacuum to pick up all them cookie crumbs

9th of November was also the last time he was seen on Steam...

His disappearance from Steam is odd due to his love of Counter Strike.

Plus he wouldnt even go on his frequent cookie breaks without notifying the Caedesians. Something is definitely up for Les to be gone for so long

We need more of Les.

Know what's sad? So many of us could fall off the map, and who'd know?

Bring out the cookies! I had an email from Les today...he'll likely be around soon.

Yes.. lookin forward to his return! I have some orange and walnut cookies baking in the oven now :)

Mmmm, they sound real good, Lori...he'd better not be too long if he wants some, lol.

lol.. love your new avie Pat :) Stay warm!

'I haven't had an orthodox career as an image mod, and I've wanted more than anything to have your respect.

The first time I didn't feel it, but this time I feel it ... and I can't deny the fact that you like me, right now, you like me!'

... ...

... ...

Someone or someones did mention cookies, did they not?

:o|


(*holds out ... both hands ...*)

^^^See? He's back...^^^

Told ya he was hoardin' those Holiday Cookies! I guess somebody had better bake him some more! (LOL)

Howdy Les.

And..the mountain went to Moses. See? it happens... ;-)

:oD

Heyyyy.... I have a freshly baked and heaping plateful of COOKIES... I knew we'd lure him out sooner or later... in this case it is later since I couldn't hold myself back and I, well, I ate the rest of the LCPoC...

Well hey, welcome back anyways, Les.

(*reads Mary's post above ...*)

The LCPoC?

I can tell you right now, Fred-o Baggins is not going to be happy about this.

No ... sir, no ... madam.


Now, I am sure we all would like to avoid another 'War of the Cake Pieces'. So ... kindly hand it over and that will be that.

(*extends right hand ... while hiding Lucille behind his frock with his left ...*)

coulda been worse.. we coulda videotaped us eating your cookies and cake in the camera's 'eye'.

oh wait...

*slyly grins and hands off a nondescript video*

>:-)

Uh oh, contraband video alert... Stay tuned in the Offtopics for more details! The Caedes reporters will soon answer the burning questions hinted at above: Just who is Lucille and, perhaps more important, why is she hiding behind Les's frock?

I think Les is on the lookut for The Great Cookie Thief!!!